I’ve never written about my blog before.
Nor, have I ever thought about writing about my blog before.
And ever since this opportunity came up to write about how I feel about my blog and the love hate relationship I have with it, its all I can think about.
It’s like when its 3 a.m. and I am drunk and I make my husband make me french fries and gravy. It must happen. And it must be dealt with in a timely matter.
I have always been a writer and a story teller. I am the girl that likes to make fun of people, but I never want to be mean, I just want to tell a good story and get a good laugh. I like gossip, because I like to find the humour, I never want to hurt. And I guess that sometimes that brings out hate that I have for myself as a person. I just like being funny. Or my version of what I think is funny. I can laugh at my own jokes for days.
Even today, I had a punch line before the joke, and worked for five minutes to get a good opening line to text to my friends husband.
It wasn’t sexting.
Well, not yet anyways.
My blog started when I needed it the most. It came during a year where I was struggling with being a mother to a very aggressively smart three year old and an eight month old. My maternity leave from being a radio dj, was draining the crap out of me. I wasn’t getting any sleep. I felt alone, angry and scared. I felt like no one was getting me, and the scary part was that I wasn’t getting myself any more.
I was replusive to myself.
But, I didn’t tell many people that.
Then within one week, two friends started talking to me about blogging. And vlogging. And twitter. And that I probably should be the boss of all things online.
I fell instantly inlove. It was so freeing. It not only felt good to write, but it felt good to share and it felt really good to have something that was my own. And, I loved the attention. I loved that other people thought that I was funny. And my dream of being a humourist might actually have some sort of weight.
I loved it so much that I not only craved it. I needed it. I found a connection and I started making friends online that rivalled my friends in real life.
But, that was two years ago, and slowly things have started to change for me.
I have been attending blogging and social media conferences and workshops.
I started submitting my work to big online publications.
I have been applying to speak at conferences.
And the scary part, I have been approached to do product reviews.
I have let my goals of being a humour writer fall to schlocking crappy products for $50 here and a $500 there. And that is the part I hate and that is the part I love.
I love that they consider me and I hate that I let myself be part of the bloody machine. I love the money and I hate that my blog looks like I am endorsing deodorant.
When I get really down on myself I just think, “Hey, even Jennifer Aniston sells body lotion.”
So, I am going to continue to love what I do. Maybe I will become a royal sell out. I don’t know. I don’t really know where all this blogging stuff is going to go.
But, for now. I love it more than I hate it. And for now that is a win.
Kyla Cornish is a radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep, sanity and an addictin to saucy chicken wings. According to one, probably drunk commenter on her blog, “She is Canada’s Version of The Bloggess”. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged”. She has also been recognized by Circle of Mom’s for Top 25 Canadian Mommy Bloggers and Top 25 Funny Mom’s. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.c
om and follow on twitter @mommyisweird and on Facebook https://www.facebook. com/MommysWeird
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