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Proud mama moment

  Wow. Just when I am ready to cut the jugular of one of my children, they do something so totally awesome, that I put down the knife and hug them.  (the knife is figurative, not literal.. don’t call DCF.  I don’t actually approach the jugulars of my children with a Ginsu.   I save that for slicing tomatoes.  And cans.) Anyhoo…  as always my house is trashed.  I’m cooking gumbo, putting groceries away and trying to clean the kitchen.  Number One has artwork all over the kitchen.   Each time I move one picture, another one appears. OMG..  Number One!!   Come do something with this art.. It’s all over the counter.. Why is it even in here?  Please go put it away. But I was going to donate it. What? I heard you on the phone talking about … Read entire article »

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I’m taking the day off

  This is barely a post… it’s really more of an extended Facebook update.   I apologize for that. I’ve been crazy overwhelmed with the planning, sponsorships and general organization of the Million Milf March .   Like, perpetual stomach ache.. developing an ulcer, can’t sleep overwhelmed.     Add to that the general “mommy responsibilities” that come with the end of the school year– parties, yearbooks, field trips, class gifts, tests, etc.   And then add to THAT my job as room mom (for 3 flipping classes) and other classroom volunteer obligations and PTA duties….   and I have been a total stressed out grouchy mess. That being said… I made yesterday my BITCH.  Totally.   Got 3 huge projects completed and off of my plate.  Confirmed … Read entire article »

Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 12

Dr. McNuts and the Evolution of Man: A Character Study…Oh, and Mandancing.   If you have not kept up with the comments stream on my posts, especially last weeks, this won’t make sense. Go read them. I’ll wait .Now… Sing along; (to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies.)   Here’s a little story ‘bout a man named Dan He wrote a lot of shit, then it really hit the fan Thought he would try to bring down The Gool But The MILFS fought back and called  him a huge tool… (Alright, songwriting is not my specialty) I know it’s hard to believe after reading last week’s comments, but Dan is my friend…a good one; even better now after what transpired over the course of the week. … Read entire article »

my {beautiful?} Mother’s Day gift

Seven is never here for Mother’s Day.  And he’s not a planner, so Mother’s Day is always me, the boys, my sisters family and my parents.   My mom takes all the grandkids shopping on Saturday, gives them each $10 and they can buy us whatever they want.   The worse the gifts, the more my mom enjoys it.    Last year I got a ring, 2 bracelets and a pack of  hamburger buns.  This year, Numbers Two & Three combined their money because they found THE PERFECT thing for me but it was $24.   As I’m opening it, Number Two is telling me.. Mom, we got you this ‘cuz you are fun and crazy– like a party.               I’m not sure … Read entire article »

What men don’t realize about Mother’s Day

  Seven called to let me know that while I will not be receiving either cards or flowers for Mother’s Day, however he will be taking me to a nice dinner when he get’s back in town.  To celebrate. MOTHER’S Day. Really? Here is what Seven somehow has not realized in the past 11 1/2  years of parenthood.    If you are man.. grab a pen and paper…  I’ll wait..   this is important.. you need to WRITE THIS DOWN………..   you got one?   Okay.    Let me tell you a secret. Mother’s Day is the day that us moms want to FORGET WE HAVE CHILDREN.  AND A HUSBAND.  OR BABY DADDY…  We want nothing to do with any of you.  THAT is the best … Read entire article »

I’m sexy. At the zoo

Today is the dreaded 3rd grade field trip to the zoo. See “Oh. Wow. Yay”  . I got dressed, came out of my room and Number One says  “You are wearing THAT to the zoo???!!!???” I have to!  None of my shorts fit, I don’t want to shave my legs and it’s gonna be hot as hell. Number One:  It’s weird to wear a dress to the zoo. Number Two:  It’s perfect.. She looks just like the environment!!   AND… she’s sexy and she knows it. then he runs off, grabs his  iTouch, comes back and plays “Sexy and I know it” at top volume and dances around me. So..  instead of a “holy shit I’ve gained so much weight” pity party, we … Read entire article »