Hot Mess Mom Podcast Prem/ Sunday January 26th! Listen on ITUNES, SPOTIFY & STITCHER
Hello fellow Hot Messes! I'm Katii Bishop, The Hot Mess Mom™, a Mother of 4, aged 9 and under; one big kid math whiz, Panic! at The Disco's #1 fan; one ballerina, who has undoubtedly proven to me that "karma" is real and that when your own Mother shouts, "I hope you have 10 kids EXACTLY like you!" the universe takes note; one sugar-fiend little boy who looks exactly like me; and one feral queen of the angels, which you can read all about later at www.TheBookofJudeBlog.com . Then there's my husband Kyle, who would do anything for me. He's pure goodness, and puts up with way too much of my bullshit. I don't brag on him enough.
I've attempted this whole, "Mommy Blog" thing a few times, but always found myself pushing it to the side after continually realizing I was conforming to a generic version of who I thought the "Funny Mom" should be. I was finally able to step back and take a look at myself from a new perspective! I pulled myself out of the hole that was "Mommy Guilt", got a job outside of my home for the first time in nearly 6 years, met new people, and when I did that, I found myself. I found my voice. I found out who I really was, and how to say what I wanted to say. I was invincible!
Then, the accident happened... Suddenly, I was completely unraveled to say the least. I had been defeated, fully and irrevocably. My lively genius of a 9 year old suffered a traumatic brain injury and a stroke, leaving her changed forever, my 7 year old had multiple life saving surgeries, and my youngest daughter died... She died.
Jude Valerie was buried on January 7th, 2019 at 11:30 AM; at the same time, 4 miles away, my best friend was giving birth to her daughter. I was introduced to the beauty in tragedy for the first time. I'm not religious, but the moment I realized I was dead center in a whirlwind of "The Circle of Life", I felt my angel in my soul; I saw how she had always been an angel, made of the best parts of me and everyone she had known; I saw life and how it flows through each of us, all together, yet all alone. In that realization, months flew by, and I was trapped in a time-warp. I saw holidays, birthdays and milestones pass in what I truly felt was a week. Then Fall came, the kids started back at school, and I was given time to think. I started gathering myself by starting a business selling some crafts I had made, I was listening to podcasts everyday (mostly true-crime, paranormal, comedy and parenting related), my blog posts about Jude's life were being shared faster than I could keep up with, and suddenly, it hit me! I have something to say and people want to hear it! Having been so inspired by the blogs and podcasts I had drowned myself in, I wondered if it was time to give another shot at "Mommy Blogging"... So naturally my ADD took the reigns as usual, and I impulse purchased podcast equipment, and started planning Season 1.
I began to see the joy in my life again! I wasn't healed or whole by any means, (I never will be, and I'm still in the midst of this journey) but instead, I gained new eyes and saw my other kids were still with me; still learning and growing, still making memories, still cracking jokes with no punchline, looking at me with hopeful eyes, waiting for me to burst out in laughter. They're still coating the TV in hand prints they'd soon outgrow, and they're still enveloped in the innocence of not knowing what the future holds. I am fully here for that!
I started doing the things I'd always wanted to do, like take my kids to concerts, successfully complete chore charts for them, signed them up for the activities they'd always wanted to do, I joined the PTO (which I'm still catching up with, but for you moms with kids in school, you should seriously consider joining! They do A LOT more for your school than you realize until you jump head first into it like I did. Not suggesting you accept the role of 2nd Vice President at the first meeting like I did, by any means F-M-L, just ask how you can help!). And all of this is going on, while I'm learning to manage Social & General Anxiety, trying to catch hold of my ADD, plus my therapist recently said to me, "Have you considered that you may have PTSD? I'd like to explore that." SO MY HEAD IS A WEIRD PLACE TO BE! Not that you needed all that bonus information, but dammit I know we're all pretty weird in our own ways, some people just hide it better than others by doing things like putting Baileys in their coffee and meditating for 30 minutes in the mornings... I myself need 2 coffees minimum, a cigarette, then run around like a chicken with its head cut off, completing goals with half a plan until I pass out at 11PM.
Welcome to the Shit Show. I'm Hot Mess Mom™!
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