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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Food, I may be PMSing... » You can keep your dollar..

You can keep your dollar..

I am a cook.   I love to cook and I’m good at it.   (note:  COOK, not bake!  I hate baking).   I generally make everything from scratch.    I tell you this only to explain that I am comfortable in the kitchen.  I can chop.  I can dice.  I can work all four burners on my stove like Lindsay Lohan can work a crack pipe.   I am a good cook. 

The thing I like the least about cooking is handling raw meat.  Any type of raw meat grosses me out.  That’s not to say that I won’t go fist deep into a chicken, or get a litte steak juice under my nails..  it happens.   But it’s gross and I try to keep my raw meat touching to a minimum.

Tonight I am cooking a corned beef.   If you cook, you know that a corned beef takes about 4 hours.  It’s as easy as can be, but time-consuming.    Again.. I’m only telling you this to explain my upcoming confusion…     

Here is a pic of corned beef as I was getting ready to cut open the packaging. 

Do you see how bloody and gross a corned beef is?    Now.. look again….at the $1 coupon that is INSIDE the packaging.   

REALLY?   Really?    I’m being offered $1 off my next purchase of a $20 corned beef after I rinse the blood and juice and more blood off of the coupon?  And then I’m supposed to keep the blood-soaked coupon in my house until we have corned beef again?

Huh…  No thanks.  You can keep your dollar.   WTF?



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Filed under: Dear Diary, Food, I may be PMSing...



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9 Responses to "You can keep your dollar.."

  1. Shannon says:

    That is all sorts of nasty! You wanna get crazy with some brisket give this little gem a whirl,

    Life changer.

    PS – I hate baking too.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      holy hell..that looks amazing! lots of steps… i hate lots of steps… but with bourbon AND stout it may be worth breaking my rules for!! yum!!

      1. Shannon says:

        I see your point, bourbon in a highball maybe sufficient. : )

  2. Elise Anne says:

    Hahaha wtf ew, ur hilarious

  3. Joe says:

    Hey Missy,

    Remember me?! Somebody told me about your site. First off, I don’t care if that was afterbirth on that corned beef. That coupon will surely be reimbursed…after a lather and rinse.

    Can you do a story about an artichoke coupon?

    It’s good to see you’re still a nut..


    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      oh Shit! Hey JOE!!! I will absolutely do an article on an artichoke! Why don’t you do a guest blog about your insane couponing?? Of course, I’ll make fun of it and ridicule you, but it will be fun!! And also.. congratulations on being the first person to say “afterbirth” on my site! Kudos…

      1. Joe says:

        I’d be happy to do a guest blog. Maybe I can add some pictures of me redeeming that afterbirth coupon. And to think I was the first to use the term afterbirth here. That’s going in the diary tonight.

        Hey, by the way. Do you need a bus driver for this Million MILF thing. I’d be happy to drive the official bus.

        Love the site!

  4. Kristi says:

    I will bake for you, if you will cook for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to bake, but that cooking thing I hate. Too many things going on at one time is too much for me. Carrot cake? Cheese cake? Muffins? I just don’t do cookies. They never seem to come out anything but flat.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      i will gladly trade you a dinner for a carrot cake!

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