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Hot Mess Mom » Drunk Blogging, I may be PMSing..., Things that are NOT awesome » WHY must some people be such assholes? Seriously…

WHY must some people be such assholes? Seriously…


Why Why WHY must some people be such assholes??

If you are on my Facebook page, you have probably seen several posts regarding some “there’s a chance this is vodka” water bottle shipment errors.  I shipped over 2000 bottles in 6 weeks.  My largest shipping days were December 17th & 18th with 250 packages shipped on each day.  (Packages, not bottles…)  It was NUTS!  And, as you know.. it’s only me.     There were a few errors made.. a couple of people recieved an incorrect quantity and one person received the wrong product.  In all of this situations, I corrected the error immediately, sent extra goodies, and in one instance, paid for Next Day Air shipping to GUAM so the bottle would arrive by Christmas to a US Military family.    I am a huge believer in good customer service and truly do my best to provide it from the get-go, but more importantly, my goal is to acknowledge and respond to any issues immediately and fairly.

All HMM products are shipped Priority Mail (2-3 day delivery). The USPS picks up at my house and my mailman kicks ass…   During the holidays, this was not the case.  Many many locations took 5+ days to be delivered.

After Christmas, I received 3 emails in one day about packages not received.  All were shipped on December 17th.   Today is January 10th and to date I am aware of 11 missing orders of the 247 packages that were shipped that day.   Human Error? USPS issue? Theft?  I don’t know.  The labels were printed, which means they were packaged at my home, but were never updated in the USPS system.  It sucks.  I felt terrible.  I FEEL terrible.  Of the 11 missing orders, 9 of the customers have been AMAZINGLY patient, kind and understanding.  All received extra goodies from me in their re-shipped packages.  1 customer was a little shitty and we agreed to disagree.

Then there was this bitch.  Granted, she got nasty with me while I was drinking whiskey and camping so my fuse was a tad short.  But that was 10 days ago and I’m still pissed by her cuntholishness.

Judge for yourselves..   Truly.. is there ANYTHING else I could have done or offered in this situation?  I have pretty thick skin.. but call me a liar/ scammer/ or cheat and I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey.

And yes.. I am painfully aware that publishing this is petty and immature, but at least I took her name and picture off….. They were on there until about 30 seconds ago when I convinced myself to be a grown up.   But honestly.. threatening me to take my TRADEMARKED item that I have spent thousands of dollars to legally own?  Really?  REALLY?   I should put the dumb bitch’s face and name back on there….

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Filed under: Drunk Blogging, I may be PMSing..., Things that are NOT awesome



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53 Responses to "WHY must some people be such assholes? Seriously…"

  1. Amy M.R. says:

    Ahhhh….the cuntholishness of it all. My favorite part is that she says “I honestly don’t believe you mailed my item”. WTH? Sorry that there is always one in every group and out of 2500 bottles, you had to get her. Just breathe.

  2. Cassandra says:

    What a cuntface! And she clearly lives under a rock if she thinks you’re some random mom on Facebook! Hey Mandy Cuntface Smith, go paddle your douchecanoe back up the shitstream you clearly came down & fuck off! Oh, and I hope you post a picture of your homemade “There’s a chance this is Vodka” bottle, so we can all watch HMM sue the fuck out of you!

    1. Cara says:

      OMG… this comment made me laugh hysterically! “douchecanoe” ha!

  3. joe dee says:

    shit happens, and some people you cant make happy no matter what you do. just think of all the people you make laugh, cry tears of joy, and feel better every day… oh yeah, and subscribe her to every stoopid magazine, every steak of the month club, every-everything you can get a subscription to. namaste. :)

    1. Ann says:

      ‘Tis true you cannot please all of the people all of the time. But you can expose them for being the asshole that they are… and Joe Dee, subscribing her email to random shit…That is frickin awesome! Evil and twisted and perfect! Evil genius. We should hook up. ;)

      1. joe dee says:

        why thank you, and may i compliment you on your appreciation of evil and twisted awesomeness. we should definitely hook up….. again! ;)hahaha

        1. Hot Mess Mom says:

          no.. NO NO NO!!!! NO! NOOOO!!! I still have nightmares from WhiteStar ’91. NO!

        2. Ann says:

          You had me at Namaste.

          1. liese says:


  4. Jackie says:

    What a bitch! I would have left her pic, full name And her email address up there for folks to blast her douchey bitch ass! You made every effort to correct the problem and I for one applaud you! Wish I had thought to order some for my girls for our Vegas trip!!

  5. Hi, I am Mandy’s sister. She is a fucking train-wreck. Do not apologize to that dumb-ass! She had sex with my husband on my birthday. She’s a lying whore! There are some people like her that you will never ever please. Don’t worry about them. You keep doing what your’e doing. F@*k her!

    1. Cassandra says:

      Are you REALLY Mandy’s sister?? Because if you are, we need to get your family a show on TLC right fucking NOW!!

    2. It was not your birthday.

  6. Shannon says:

    What. A. Cunt!! You went above and beyond. She’s a fucktard. Period.

  7. Tbz says:

    You are not wrong. First, it’s a water bottle, a great water bottle, but lets just agree there are bigger things in life to get upset about (Mandy, not you being upset at Mandy). Second, who waits until December to order something for shipment? That’s Russian roulette right there. You need to figure out the percentage of items that weren’t received on time versus the number of items that were during the month if December. Trust me, you’ll come out ahead.

    1. Bridget says:

      EXACTLY! ! ! I ordered from her on the Dec. 17th shipment will the FULL expectation they may not arrive on time. They did, which was fucking awesome. But even with the shipment of Dec. 12-13 I still wouldn’t have been surprised at a late arrival. HMM – be thankful for the wonderful “patient” customers who appreciate your hard work but understand issues arise and not let one bitch of a customer be a mouth-piece for the rest of us if something goes wrong.

  8. NicNap says:

    I am peeing! THIS is why I love you. Don’t allow anyone elses douchiness go unnoticed! Bahahahaha!

  9. eileen says:

    I think you should have at least offered her your first born, i mean damn what kind of buisness are you running??!!!!!???? She’s a piece of crap……!

    1. Robyn says:

      Sorry, I was being nosy and couldn’t help looking her up. You could delete my comment and pretend I never told you. ;)

      1. Hot Mess Mom says:

        I’m totally doing that ;)

        1. Lauren says:

          LMAO!!!! OMG this can not be for real….I have never laughed so hard @ comments. I totally think you should have kept her picture, I need a face to go with this exchange.

  10. Sam Millus says:

    I want to go on record as saying that woman is a CRAZY BITCH!!! I too ordered a water bottle, and guess the fuck what?!? I GOT IT!!! She clearly is one of the people looking for a freebie, handout, pity party whatever. I love you and your products and have a tee shirt order ready to send on payday:) FUCK HER! Xo

  11. Cherie says:

    CUNTHOLISHNESS! I fucking love it!!!
    BTW, I am receiving your emails, but there are no links on them to the post. i have sent you 1-2 emails to let you know,( because I know from time to time you have email issues) but your traveling princess ass must not have gotten them ;)

  12. Janelle says:

    I love any story that comes with “so there’s this bitch”. You know whatever comes next is always good. You’re talented and smart and a good mom. Your posts always make my days brighter — so don’t let some bitch ruin *your* day….

  13. Julie says:

    Ok, now I’m wondering what Robyn told you! I was starting to wonder WTF you were talking about, then she turned all rabid-crack-whore on you. What a jackhole! Too bad you can’t have your lawyer send her a warning letter about using your ‘not-so-original idea’! I bet that would twist her granny panties!

  14. Andrea says:

    Well if bitchface was so concerned perhaps she should have done her online Christmas shopping prior to 12 days BEFORE Christmas! I hope it gets to her and is the only defective bottle in the bunch and leaks her fucking clothes staining grape juice all over her white top!

    1. Dr Charlie says:

      PMSL! :)

  15. Renee Wilmath says:

    I think I would totally email spam her now…… LOL

  16. beginner mom says:

    Please text her a link to your recent post. I’m sure it will fire her up and maybe she can see for herself what an ass everyone thinks she is.

  17. Kates says:

    I referred/used/said a trademarked name in an on-air interview last year and it was posted as part of that interview on some news website. Lawyer contacted me with all kinds of serious documentation that said I cannot even speak about anything using that terminology…SO THERE Mandy Bitch!

  18. Joanna says:

    I just stumbled across your page from pinterest and I must say, you are friggin hilarious!! Cuntholishness? *crying!* lol good for you in sticking up for yourself and screw her as a customer, who wants to deal with people like that anyways! her loss!

  19. Jennifer says:

    I think you are awesome and I agree that this woman is a cunt. That being said people can print whatever they want on their own things. Your trademark only protects you if someone else is trying to make money off of it.
    Not like you’d waste the time suing this idiot, you have more important things to do…like writing more hysterical posts!

  20. Rach says:

    I have to tell you–I think the USPS is having some serious problems.

    My Mom sent a package to me on 12/17 and I got it on 1/7. It was supposed to be shipped priority.

    I think they can’t handle all of the business they got over Christmas. I still haven’t received another package sent on 12/19…. Probably never will…

  21. OHMYWORD. She’s insane. I’m totally sure she was going to order 20. Please. You’re awesome, she’s a vag-hair ripped out by the sticky stuff on pads.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      holy shit.. best description EVER!!!

  22. So people have like no arms and legs or had their face chewed off by their friend’s monkey – and this person is crying because she didnt receive a water bottle on time?? I can’t……BTW I love Sue Diamond Phillip’s description!!! LOL

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      I love when you come visit!! And I promise if your face ever gets chewed off by your friends monkey, I will cut that bitch.

  23. Teri says:

    Geez, the least you could’ve done was to show up at her door, kiss her ass a million times, offer to do her laundry, wash her car, babysit her kids, vacuum her house, re-shingle her roof, paint her mailbox, re-tile her bathroom, clean her oven and maybe blow her husband. Is THAT too much to ask? And you say you pride yourself on customer service.

    But seriously, she’s a cunt and you’re amazing. End of story.

    1. Dr Charlie says:

      Blow her husband? He divorced her a week after they were married! ;)

      1. Hot Mess Mom says:

        Oh Dr Charlie!! Sure hope you come by and visit often!!!!!

  24. Melissa Smith (no relation to BitchFace) says:

    UNfortunately, this is what happens when you offer and sell goods/products (the occasional bitchface). Fortunately, YOUR brand revolves around being sarcastic, snarky, and putting idiots in their place while posting it publicly! LOL Jealous!

  25. Amanda says:

    Working with the public wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the people!

  26. Karen says:

    Wow was she for real…you refunded her! Not cool.

  27. Karen says:

    What was her problem? She should really have a glass of wine…or vodka!

  28. OCBelle says:

    I was one of the customers who’s order got misplaced and when I did contact you, you were AMAZING!!!
    Some people just need real problems in life so they can the diffrence!

  29. Rebecca says:

    I love ur products and I am waiting till tomorrow or Saturday to order my water bottle. its going to b a late Christmas early vday present from my boyfriend and he told me to get what I wanted. my mom and sisters read ur blog and love u. I told them about ur blog and they said if it caught my attention it would b worth it. so ur a family thing here. my mom drives a truck for a living so when she comes home she’s like have u read hmm. and I’m like yeah the day she posted it. don’t stress this person cause she ain’t worth it.

  30. nikke says:

    That was insane….never laughed so hard. All this over a water bottle!!!!!

  31. Dr Charlie says:

    This has been one of the funniest blogs I’ve read yet! YOU GO HMM :)

  32. rebecca says:

    definitely late to the party but this entire post (and the replies) are hilarious
    i want to friend request her then spam her notifications with game requests

  33. Julie says:

    What a cocksucking whore cunt….sounds like my ex.

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