Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Ramblings » Why I make Christmas my bitch
Why I make Christmas my bitch
I am a sucker for the holidays.. Actually, if you read this blog, you know I am a sucker for any holiday… St. Patrick’s Day, July 4th, Labor Day.. Any excuse for a party.. I’m in! But this season… from early October when I decorate from Halloween through New Years… THIS season, I love. I love the decorations, I love the music, I love the feeling. I’m not as nutty about Thanksgiving themes and decor but it still one of my favorite holidays as we spend it in New Orleans with my enormous family… {our Thanksgiving dinner is 109+ people of immediate family… more if the youngsters bring dates}
You know how people get so pissed when the stores put out Christmas decorations at the same time as Halloween? I don’t. I dig it! It motivates me to get a jump start. I love Christmas carols. I watch ELF in July. I love Christmas.
My goal every year is to have all gifts purchased, cards addressed & stamped, and holiday menus done by December 1st. Before you curse me, you have to understand the motivation behind it. I am NOT an organized person. I’m NOT.. What I AM is a thoughtful partier.
I put thought into gifts.. Nothing irks me more than walking through a store looking for a gift for someone. I want the gift to match person. I spend hours and hours online looking for the perfect thing for the perfect person.
I go to parties. I throw parties. I attend and/or host celebratory lunches for no reason other than it’s December and I can.
Sooo..the reason that I get my shizzle done before December 1st is so that …come December… I can sit back and enjoy the ride. No malls, no stress, no last minute shopping. MY stuff is done!! Want to have a last minute wine lunch? I’m your girl! A holiday party on a Tuesday night? Of course I can attend!! I can do whatever I want for the entire month because I do double duty in October and November to clear that December schedule!!
The one thing I don’t do until mid-December is wrap. And I would wrap early.. I would. But years ago, My Chris and I started our holiday tradition of taking an afternoon, piling all of our gifts on the floor, opening bottles upon bottles of champagne, and wrapping our gifts. We usually have about 2 hours worth of wrapping. It takes us all day. We lose a lot of scissors. Sometimes we have to send her hub out for more champagne. Or food. Or both.
Today is November 3rd. My Christmas cards and designed and ordered. My menu for Festivus is done. I’ve Pinterested all of my centerpiece ideas. My children’s gifts are about 50% done. All other gifts.. teachers, parents, in-laws, godchildren, nieces, nephews, etc… ALL other gifts are done. I’m shopping for party attire. I’m on the hunt for fun shoes.
Christmas is my bitch.
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Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings
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It’s people like you who give people like me a bad reputation. For me Christmas is a bitch!
I know you a little tiny bit. I know that you do shit for the boys school, you have lunch dates, dinner dates, theatre tickets, you make bats out of cheese, you go to the post office (because its not scary), you organized your house last week, you put out on the regular.
You know me. I dont do shit. While I’m not doing jack crap, I don’t have time to Christmas shop this early. I hate this post. I hate that I’m a failure. I hate that you are so much better than me. So yeah, good job. You’re rad.
I’d love to make Christmas my bitch. I mean, she’s kinda like it already in the sense that I go pretty ape-shit over decor and gifts and the like. But for some reason, (prolly $$!) I have a VERY difficult time finishing up that gift shopping early. I’m not a Christmas Eve shopper by any means, I’m just not done by the time you are!
And, no matter how much I love Christmas, I will never love seeing it through the maze of Halloween costumes. Sorry babes.
Thanks.
I am $100.00 poorer because of this post.
Hot Mess Mom, making lazy people productive since 2011.
Cox
If your Christmas card is delivered to me in November, I will egg your house.
I mail them December 1st. Fuck you very much. However, maybe I’ll bring yours when I come next week for our slumber party..
I love this! Now I can’t buy gifts early because I want to give them to the person right away. But I am ALL about Christmas. The very first commercial I see on TV I jump up and down (no joke). My husband rolls his eyes and groans when we go to any store because my radar leads me directly from the front door to the Christmas displays. One of my neighbors already put a Christmas decoration on their front door. I wanted to high five them. I love “Elf” too! You rock!
You Suck! Seriously! I am the Grinch until the day before Christmas, why, because it sucks! Until it is here then I am all Merry Merry Ho Ho’s and all that happy shit! In my defense of the Grinchness I was a single female with a career and no kids until four years ago. So exactly why was I suppose to be all giddy about X-mas decorations? I spent all my time with friends and family at there houses, got up x-mas morning and walked to the neighbors (parents) for the morning festivities with my niece and nephew. So I didn’t even need to put up a Christmas tree.
BUT, four years ago I got involved with a high school crush (who also had a crush on me but was afraid of me so that never happened back in the day…. but low and behold 15 years later we run into each other at my fav bar and haven’t been apart since) He comes with four kids and two not to be trusted with children ex-wives.
Yep, I make nice easy choices for myself NOT oh SO NOT. So about a year and a half ago I became an instant parent at age 36 when the youngest two moved in G9 and B4 and started down a training course thru hell of crash course parenting!! (on the morning of our one year learning curve on the way to the bus stop, they informed me I passed with flying colors and “have a way better score than mom because you haven’t forgot to pick us up from anything yet” (seriously YET? dummy me ask how many times did that happen, the 4 year old said “don’t know for sure, I couldn’t count that high then so I don’t know”…. The 9 year old said “I am not sure but I quit counting when I was about 5 3/4 and she hit 20, I figured it was to much to track in my head anymore”. And shit like that is what makes me want to become a serial killer of really really shitty bio-mom’s) And here in the last few months I now get the Teen crash course, G17 moved in. (I feel like I am playing Bingo!) So for the last four years I have been the Ubber Grinch in hiding and the house was fully decked out old school for Christmas, tree and all.
Now I panic every year because I have three kids to shop for (yes he has one more B16 and we shop for him to, but that is an entirely other story so lets skip it.) and need to decorate and all the stuff and work full time plus (45-60 hrs a week) and ………………………………..fill in all the shit you Mom’s already know here………………… and at some point can I please have a glass of wine and what shift is your Dad on and when is he due home, he could maybe feed you tonight because I am exhausted and oh look Pappa’s home! Sweet!! Where is that bottle, Night all!!
So having someone I have been reading along with put up this insanely happy little Wonder Woman Bloog post having everything all on schedule and saying you will be done by Dec 1, twisted my tit or something, cause Seriously YOU SUCK!! And I hate you!!!! Cause I only half ass started! (my excuse to the world is gonna be that I just got married to said old crush 3 weeks ago, so I was busy with a wedding and honeymoon, during soccer, cheerleading, and softball season!!) Ok, so I got an excuse for my first Christmas as an evil-step-mom, but what makes it get any easier??? I want to be almost done too!!!! POUT!
BTW… I love your blog, love the stories, and honestly have read back to catch up… was lead to you from the Mad women, who I did the same and read catch up… so I love you both and will maybe actively comment now that I am up-to-date. But seriously I think I hate that you make the crazy seem all normal and right. And honestly I have trouble remembering the what day it is, let along remember that this Friday was ware red day at school and I put the poor five yr old in Green, which the loving 10 yr old didn’t bother to mention until we were already at the bus stop! (I told him if he got picked on to tell the kids his new evil-step-mom is color blind.) I am not but he can then turn the picking toward me and all is well again in his little world.
Just re-read this and almost deleted it cause well I am nuts, then thought no I am being real, so let them see it.
i love it!!! Thank you! and welcome!!
[...] know I make Christmas my bitch.. Now you can [...]
I love it. I watch Elf in July. I packed ( and watched) the Grinch for my labor and delivery movie one August. I’m done shopping. Because who wants to buy the advertised sale crap when you could buy what people actually want… And this wrapping partner- is that a friend? Will Y’all adopt me? The one thing I’m missing from Christmas!