Hot Mess Mom » Family » What men don’t realize about Mother’s Day
What men don’t realize about Mother’s Day
Seven called to let me know that while I will not be receiving either cards or flowers for Mother’s Day, however he will be taking me to a nice dinner when he get’s back in town. To celebrate. MOTHER’S Day.
Really?
Here is what Seven somehow has not realized in the past 11 1/2 years of parenthood. If you are man.. grab a pen and paper… I’ll wait.. this is important.. you need to WRITE THIS DOWN……….. you got one? Okay. Let me tell you a secret.
Mother’s Day is the day that us moms want to FORGET WE HAVE CHILDREN. AND A HUSBAND. OR BABY DADDY… We want nothing to do with any of you. THAT is the best gift you can give us for Mother’s Day.. GO AWAY! And don’t think that a night out with YOU.. the one who sired these children is the break we are looking for… it’s not. You are only a reminder of all the chaos waiting for us back at home.
This is what we want. I’m spelling it out for you.. I will not use big words or confusing woman-speak. Pay attention!
- A day at the spa. You can never go wrong with a day of pampering. EVER. If not the whole day, we will take individual treatments– manicure, pedicure, facial, massage. A coupon from you for a massage DOES NOT COUNT. We all know what’s that’s about..you aren’t fooling anyone.
- A cleaning lady, a book and a bottle of wine. Pay some other poor soul to come over and do what we do for free every day. Then send us to the park with a blanket, and book and a botle of wine. DO NOT CALL.
- A day at home ALONE. Take those condom accidents of yours and go away. For the entire day. They will LOVE spending time with you and we will love spending time without you.
- Shopping. We like to shop. It’s in our DNA. Whether for clothes, accessories, art or antiques… we like to stroll and browse and
peruselook around. (Sorry, I promised no big words… ) Give us a day to shop. And money to spend with no questions asked. (not that we need you to give us money).. but guilt-free shopping is a treat like no other.
- Act like the man we thought you would be when we were young and naiive. Vaccuum the house. Dust the shelves. Cook dinner. Play with the kids. Fix all of the broken shit you’ve been promising to “get around to when you have time”. {Note: this is the only gift that guarantees Mother’s Day sex}
Class is dismissed.
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This? Is right on the mark. You should write a manual for women to give to men when they decide to cohabitate.
Well done, ladypants!
I think I might just subscribe to your blog. Because you are my twitter mess soulmate.
Amen sista!
HELL TO THE YES!
On the news today there was a survey:
what do moms want for MD? spa treatment, #1 answer.
What do men think women want for MD? Flowers, #1 answer.
Dumbasses.
Q: what do Seven and Dub think WE want for Mother’s Day?
A: Alcohol.
Uh…does this apply to me when we live together in the future? If so I want to register a pre-bite me; Even though I will be granting you your wishes anyway:)
happy mothers day!!
Yes, yes, and more yes! Last year I went away for the entire weekend by myself and it was absolutely PERFECT!
ok, no to the flowers… can i still give the autographed picture of me? :p
Happy Mother’s Day! Got a post about this specially for those who hold back on telling their moms they love ‘em
xoxo
a href=”http://kristalcasidsid.blogspot.com/2012/05/happy-mothers-day.html”>Bolang Kristal
From a mans perspective. Found your site a couple weeks ago. Casual reader. You write about funny antics that seem to happen to all of us and I love it. I think I will say for Fathers Day that I want the exact same thing (sans the blanket, wine, book and spa). Just a day where I don’t have kids asking me unanswerable questions, no homework, television noise of wife watching the latest Idol or Loser show. Don’t have to look at dishes piled up or Landry to put away. Just a day on the golf course and bar afterwards minus my cell phone. Where I don’t have to think of you or one of the kids calling to ask me a question or when I will be home. My wife now drops the kids off at school and has all day to herself. I go to work and then get home around 6 and deal with all the “work” at home. Would love 6 hours in the middle of a weekday to myself. 3 hours of honey-do’s and three hours to myself. Yes, with my wife gone far away. One day would be so f’ing superfantastic. Guess it would be like crack, try it once and may be addicted.
agreed… We all need a break. No matter if you work outside the home, in the home or on the road… sometimes you need a day of NOTHING. Hope you get it for Daddy’s Day
This is the 5th Mothers day in a row that my hubby is out of town…. however he did deposit shopping money and bought me software…. he’s trained but it took 20 yrs to get it right…. now if my mom would stop hogging the entire day – I might enjoy a little of the holiday myself….. urrgghhhh
I’m printing this and mailing it to my husband next April. Should give him plenty of time to figure something out.
RIGHT ON! LOL TOOO TRUE IN ALL ASPECTS! its is the truth ladies! here here! making my husband read this as well! love it! xxx
You said the man we thought you were when we were young and naive, so that man will never come? Should I just accept my half decent excuse for a man? Great father annoying man, it would save a lot of fights wasted breath and dream space if I had the answer LOL
i tell Seven every year, the reason we are happy is because I lower my expectations every year.
“condom accidents”….is my new favorite term
Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!
Xoxoxo
OMG I’m going to get a bunch of shit for this…I want to spend the day with my kids on MD! It’s the 1 day a year I pretend I’m actually a really good mom! All the rest of the days I want them to play outside so I can watch marathons of Real Housewives, but on MD, I am SUPER MOM!
Ok, I don’t know how I missed this but it’s freakin amazing and I sent it to a bunch of my girlfriends AND my husband!
I love love love you HMM!
I luv u back!
Love this list, now to just print it out and leave it around my house in very PLAIN SIGHT for my own husband to find!
YES, please, please, please…
Ps. By me not having to do anything all day DOES NOT mean I should have to do two days worth of housework TOMORROW!