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Hot Mess Mom » Vodka Baby ®

Vodka Baby ®


WHAT is Vodka Baby?   Vodka baby is my most brilliant creation…  It’s a bottle of Vodka.  It’s a Baby.   It’s Vodka Baby….

(See also- Percocet Baby and Burka Baby)


( to be refurbished soon )



At, I take your drink (or pharmaceutical) of choice, and turn it into a baby.

Why would I do this? I don’t know, but it is funny and people love it!

And, of course, ripping the head off of a baby doll and taking a swig out of the body is just fun.  (especially when in a fine-dining restaurant…  been there/ done that! )

You may choose your own beverage, color combination for outfit, ethnicity of baby, etc…

For the perfect irreverent gift….. place your custom order today!



                                                        The original Vodka Baby…..

                                                                       Gator Vodka Baby

                                                             Percocet Baby




This is Burka Baby.   Yes, I realize she is offensive, but how else would you smuggle booze into a Muslim country?   She makes me happy.


Custom-ordered Halloween  Sweet Tea Vodka baby…   Her name is Sweet Caroline….

Sweet Caroline at her new home:

 Brooklyn.. the ‘chocolate whipped’  Vodka baby….


                                           The Yellow Rose of Texas..   complete with boobs and feather hair.


                                  Delphine… the Mardi Gras Vodka Baby…


46 Responses to "Vodka Baby ®"

  1. bridget says:

    Hot Mess is a hoot!!

  2. Ann says:

    Gotta have one! Do you accept pay pal?

  3. SAVANNAH says:

    I think these might be be great teachers gifts… for that special someone. Maybe a “wine-y baby” would be good as a preschool teacher gift?

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      absolutely 🙂 I really want to make ‘Chardonnay-nay’ but I can’t find any black baby dolls in my price range

      1. Kelly says:

        Fuck that’s funny.

      2. Kristinie says:

        …just use some paint

  4. SAVANNAH says:

    OMFG…. GENIUS! I’ll find one and send it to you!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      awe-some { I just sang that}

  5. Kelley says:

    Chardonnay-nay!! That is hilarious!!!

  6. Sami says:

    If I did not know you, I might be a tiny bit offended on behalf of others, but I do, so it just makes me LMAO…Love you…

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      back atcha sister! and, to be honest.. I’m very surprised that HMM has not recieved ONE negative comment. Neither here nor on Facebook.
      I’m sure now that I put it out there.. the universe will drop a bunch in my lap 😉

  7. Celia says:

    How can I order a vodka baby? Karen said contact you to order one? I would like a Gasparilla pirate one. How much are they?

  8. ANN says:

    Vodka Baby is Registered?!~!! YAY so happy!

  9. Leslie says:

    Bahahaha I was wondering how the hell I got your business card, well now I know, I met Delphine… the Mardi Gras Vodka Baby…at the Endymion Ball in the Bunker. We had our picture taken together – hahaha! Chardonnay – nay is great. Go to a thrift shop. As much as I love Pinterest, I don’t subscribe to anyones blog, you however sista, I will have to.
    The dancing looks like it was at the Famous Door.
    Have fun, keep blogging.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      You met Delphine!! I loved her!! That is so funny… you will have to send me a pic 😉
      If you are in NOLA, make sure you visit It’s in September and will be GREAT!

      You can also “like” it if you are on Facebook.

  10. Terri says:

    I haven’t laughed so hard in quite some time… I’m so glad to know I am not the only certifiable crazy mother out there!!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      yay! welcome.. you may like the “Yes. there will be therapy” post.. 😉

  11. OMG! This is odd, and bizarre, and weird and I LOVE IT!! Thx for the Friday laugh.

  12. Kammie says:

    Love this!! We just wrote and illustrated a Satirical Children’s book called A Bottle for You. A Bottle for Me. It’s a children’s book intended for the adults who take care of them- and who need a bottle of wine immediately after doing so. Check it out at!


  13. Euro Mom says:

    I am new to your blog. When I saw the “Vodka Baby” tab here on your site, I logically thought we were talking about the kinda vodka baby I have…. an actual baby, made because of drinking too much vodka! I like your kind of vodka baby too 😉

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      ha! If that were the case I’d have a Captain Morgan baby, a Jack Daniels baby and a beer/wine baby 😉 WELCOME.. .glad to have you!

  14. I laughed so hard at the Vodka baby post. Thanks for making my great day better!

  15. Paije says:

    Oh…my…..dogness. I have sooooo many people in my life that would benefit from a Vodka baby, Beer baby, Sweet Red wine baby. The market is HUGE!!! Can’t you set up a etsy shop? Or would that be uncouth? heheheheh, I love them so much!!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      ha! I COULD do an Etsy shop… never thought about it. unfortunately.. VB’s are pretty expensive, what with the alcohol, doll, clothing and accessories… but i’ll try it ! 😉

  16. Joy says:

    I’m soooooo having to get one of these for my friend for Christmas – how do I contact you to get one?? It probably says above but my Spawn are walking in the room and I don’t want them to bling out their babies or get any other ideas!! 🙂 (Can’t scroll up….)

    Love this!!!!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      just email me at

      we can discuss a theme, booze type, etc.. 😉

  17. Sara says:

    Vodka Baby just made my day. So sick and twisted. I will eventually need to get a few.

  18. I love Vodka Baby! These are hilarious 🙂 and I’m going to have to order one as a holiday gift. Love your blog. Just started my own last month and am so relieved to see that I don’t actually have to make a new post every single day (ya, I’m an idiot who didn’t read many blogs before just starting
    thanks for the laugh!

  19. BWAHAHAAAAAHAHAA! Brilliance in a baby! …And a bottle 😉

  20. Dr Charlie says:

    OMG! PMSL 🙂

  21. youdontknowme says:

    Holy smokes!!!!! I have been sober for the last 23 years but here I am trying my best to figure which of my “still out there” family members I can buy one of these for! This is a gift of perfection. Hot Mess is the missing piece from my shopping list. Can I order one of these? I saw the page was under construction…

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      email me at
      We can discuss the booze, the theme and the pricing.. 😉

  22. Does the Percocet baby come with actual percocet? If so– I order 3!~ LMAO.. Hilarious!


  23. Nancy says:

    Percocet baby – LMAO

  24. Nicole heisler says:

    U r freaking hysterical!!!

  25. Louise Pickard says:

    Where were all these “Vodka Babies” when I was a drinkin’ woman? Love all your stuff! Going to get some tumblers, am a good standing member of your “hmmm” club. Love & try to use the DTFC daily! Love your stuff!

  26. Roxy says:

    So dang hilarious! :)as they say…half bubble short of a plum (something like that). I love that in a person.

  27. Mary Edwards says:

    Do you have a Scotch-baby?

  28. Erica says:

    This is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen? I totally need to get a vodka baby for my mom and my sister will need a chardonnay nay!!!! Awesome sauce

  29. jeania says:

    Have you thought of making a nurse baby? I know a few that would love to have 1, including myself!!

  30. Megan says:

    This is the first time I have viisited your site after liking your facebook page. The picture captioned “it’s summer and I love you brought me here. Now I have had an epiphony about raising a two year old and a laugh. Thanks for cheering me up!

  31. mandelynn says:

    Oh my dear! I love this. I am like 3 years too late to the party, but this kind of brilliance has no time limit.

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