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Hot Mess Mom » Tuesdays with Gooley » Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 25

Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 25

{disclaimer:  I am NOT Gooley..  On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts.  These are HIS stories.  His life. His Antics.  Every other post on this blog is written by me.  EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley”  Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his..  I am clean and I smell good}

Conundrum.

 

I’m on my porch late Monday night ruminating while overly concerned about what to write about. This mommy blog experience continues to fascinate. I’m having a difficult time in this moment to believe that my life and experiences are in any way interesting. Then my mind asks the question, “Is it my life that is interesting or the writing that makes it so?”

And then I bitchslap myself for even asking such a douchesque question.

That’s my intro. For whatever it’s worth, as I furiously type late Monday night to spew out something of value. So silly.

In the spirit of silliness I will do some freeform writing. This is a tool I’ve used at various stations in my life to connect with myself or get to an answer. In this case I simply want to have some fun – entertain myself and hopefully a few of you. I mean, It’s 8pm on Monday and I want to eat dinner and sleep. Don’t look for anything profound. Just laugh and I’ll be happy.

Real time update. It’s now 9:30pm and I’m tired. I just put dinner together. Damn I’m good. Chili with organic garden tomatoes, free range beef, spicy chicken sausage; marinated in Heineken. That’s right – Some of my best work. I’m now tired and tipsy. I am also sitting in the exact same place I played “pass the laptop” with HMM when her weather blew in months ago. I am therefore inspired to play the same game. This time it will be between my own personalities. This may be interesting…or disastrous. Let’s see.

 

Hippie Gooley: Dude, its late August. Shouldn’t you be on your way to Burning Man right now?

 

Practical Gooley (He’s rarely a factor): Burning Man? No. I have work to do and eating magical fungus and dancing naked is not on my calendar. You get me in trouble and I’m not having it.

 

HG: Relax Old Man. Jeez. Don’t tell me you weren’t tempted to jump into that Vanagon you saw this afternoon with the technicolor streamers and stench of patchouli and kindness. You know you wanted to.

 

PG: I do not. And a matter of fact, that little outing you have planned next week to “bond” with the silly drunk women. I’m not a fan.

 

HG: Bite me. And then blow me while you’re at it. I’m gonna turn it up in New Orleans and make ‘em forget Isaac even existed. So, you stay home, worry your bitch ass off about whatever it is that you think really matters and I’ll be busy being awesome.

PG: Well I never!

HG: Ok. It’s now my obligation to slice off your penis for saying “I never.”

 

And….Scene. More of a disaster than anything profound – I get it. It’s too late to embellish – welcome to my mind .

It is, however, honest…as I drift towards slumber with crickets chirping late Monday night. I also am reeling a bit after some shit I “splooged” on Friday that some of you may have read. I’m uncomfortable in the mere space I created in that post exclaiming that I am soon to jump outside of my comfort zone. My mind is in full scale battle. My sub-personalities are in all out warfare digging in while it all works itself out. FYI – I’m buying a guitar this weekend. There will be bad folk music shares in the future. Deal with it.

Wow – I need therapy.

Damn mommy blog.


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16 Responses to "Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 25"

  1. MuscleLove says:

    You are so super fantastic with a side of sexy. You know you are excited to get to Nola to hang out with me and all of the other freak show moms who will be invading New Orleans. You are the bonus prize of the MMM my sweet friend, embrace it.
    I love your face….and your arms. And back.
    Please bring deodorant.

  2. joe dee says:

    i am glad i am not the only one who has struggles between the fun reckless abandon me, and the one who puts food on the table and is a single dad. They fight often, although never resorting to penis slicing… i guess i should consider myself lucky they play nicer than your’s do. :) Sooo, you going to burning man?

    1. Ann says:

      I can totally relate. I’m a Gemini. And so am I.

  3. Toby says:

    Oh! I do love some stench of patchouli and kindness.
    (and a dash of charred wood in your sweater the day after a campfire.)

    Perhaps you should write about our adventures in “camping” in college.
    That is IF you live through next week with Those Women!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      Again.. REALLY Toby?? You ONLY comment on Jim’s stuff? You are NOT making me feel cool, sophisticated or beautiful.

      1. Toby says:

        You’re right. I must comment on Jim’s stuff to keep him from becoming the “Other Jim”. Do you know how important validation is to the neo-hippie, California chameleosexual?

        Just be assured that I read through your ranting and natterings as well, knowing full well that you don’t require validation of any sort to be your smoking self.

  4. Gooley says:

    HMM…it’s understood. You are the bombdiggity. Everyone loves you and wants to be like you.

    Now…I’m not going to Burning Man….though have a hippie tingle that misses it. I’ll stay home and shower instead. Toby. Good call! Livestock-rich material indeed. I’ll keep it in my emergency folder. In other words maybe next post:)

  5. I have noticed that a few people only comment on Gooleys stuff. As though the other posts are not as rad…must be dudes.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      Toby is a GREAT friend of both of ours. But he only likes Gooley on HMM ;( He probably just knows that Gooley is more sensitive and needs the kindness ;)

  6. I hope he sends Gooley validation cupcakes…

  7. Ann says:

    If by “Burning Man” you mean drinking up the love and the booze on an ultimate party adventure… then YES! you are going to Burning Man! MMM is just a week away!

    Only, hopefully no men will be actually burn or be harmed in any way. And no rogue housewives will do dirty things they may regret when they return to their normal suburban lives.

  8. Boo says:

    My Pet Goolfish gets wicked bouts of angst (read with a Boston accent). He’s a deep thinker just swinging to and fro with his moods. I don’t even want to know what happens when the swing stops swingin’. I have a feeling that’s when shit gets real.

  9. Dan Mcsherry says:

    I gave it a shot but I cannot make the march. I will be there in spirit with ya Jim. What Jim will be attending that? Kinda scary…The I want to kiss and lick you crowd may be a stampede. Will they tear you apart in the frenzy? We all have many sides and I guess this thing is fueling some very creative energy for you…Whatever you come up withI will always remain loyal but good friend is your most accomplished feat IMO. And I will always be partial to that guy….

    1. Boo says:

      Dan: I don’t know you, but from what you wrote to Gools, I have a feeling that I’d dig you. I love him getting blog love from both women and men, and your entry was very touching and kind. Kudos to you my maybe new friend.

  10. Gooley says:

    Boo….true dat. I’m in da angst. Usually I do it alone accompanied by a heavy dose of self flagellation. Now I have a million MILFS…and Dan:) to watch me unravel.
    Dan… This will easily be the oddest weekend imaginable. I’m sure the right guy will show up. If not, there are consequences. The one who does show up better bring the deodorant. That’ll be a food start.

    1. Dan Mcsherry says:

      Thats cool…Well I wrote a long pat on the back one on your initial writing. Figure if ya like Jim you would have to love me. Is that fair Jim? Our friendship IS very important to me as you have deciphered. Look forward to sharing with you…Are you related to Honey Bo-Boo? http://youtu.be/uhkDn0Usz1k

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