Hot Mess Mom » Tuesdays with Gooley » Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 13
Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 13
Rabbit Hole Revisited; Sasquatch Goes to Spirituality School.
It’s time, once again, to revisit the rabbit hole. Two weeks of submersion in youthful debauchery were fun, but I have had some weighty subjects on my mind and need to process. Yes, PROCESS…It seems as though this mommy blogging adventure is doubling as a form of ersatz therapy (did it again – used ERSATZ in a mommy blog). So, I’m just going to jump in with what has been swirling in betwixt my synapses and trust that I will find some answers so that my brain can rest. I will also ask for some assistance. Yes, a bit of feedback might help me pin down some of this angst and give it form and meaning. Mommies, let’s do this!!
Another significant chapter in my personal growth resume was the whole process of acquiring a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Psychology. About 12 years ago and just after attending the week long meditation retreat (refer to episode 10), I began the program. Essentially, it was an experiential exploration into human potential and how spirituality plays into our personal evolution. We learned that we are spiritual beings having a human experience – not just flesh and form in a dense matrix. Through training, it becomes possible and then necessary to detach from the physical form that holds our pain and duality, and approach life from an observers POV; the observer being our Higher Self. Through Mastery of this detachment we can then transform our pain into light and thus evolve. The meat of the program was working our own process – dissecting and cutting loose our personal demons. A lot of focus was on letting go of judgment and moving into a baseline of acceptance. Put simply. Open your heart and love. Period.
I mostly hated every minute of the program 
and that’s why I had to complete it. From day one it bitch-slapped my comfort zone and occasionally boot-stomped me into fits of squeamish personal apocalypse. It was a full on ejection outside of my comfort zone. Growth thrives on this level of risk taking, so I dove in. Before the program I was emotionally retarded. Throughout the program I was in emotion kindergarten. Even after the program I had work to do. I am grateful that I had the balls to face my discomfort in order to lay a foundation that I continue to build upon today. It was well worth the effort.
Here’s where I need to process.
The program and community that it generates is a tad nutty. I’ve heard the term “Spirit Muffin” tossed around – It applies. Lots of glazed over smiles, mug hugging, and deep eye gazing; as if you have a piece of spinach in your eye tooth. Every conversation has to be deep and meaningful. If you’re not crying you’re just not going deep enough. The community language becomes all important. At some point, the herd adapts the language so absolutely that it becomes the new normal and if you drop a colloquial irreverent bomb – you will face a spiritual correction. I was corrected – often.
Being in the emotional arena, it’s expected that the terrain would be robust with feminine energy. I had a difficult time adjusting to this as I have always worshipped at the altar of testosterone. Coming into this atmosphere was culture shock. I became aware that I represented an archetype that others had difficulty facing – both male and female. I’m the scary man that hurt them in elementary school, or the angry stepfather that beat them. I’m the football player that rejected them in High School. I’m that guy; but I’m not. Being one that is adept at recognizing and attuning to energies that surround, I noticed this projection and made adjustments by consciously and contentiously softening my rough edges. It partially worked. I’m still Sasquatch stomping around awkwardly in the Age of Aquarius; so far outside of my comfort zone that I need a compass, beef jerky, and a GPS to get me out alive. There is so much feminine energy flying around that I needed a case of Tampax and a pallet of Midol to cope with all of the breakdowns and drama.
Here’s my issue:
I saw a video that initiated my dilemma. It makes me wretch and I still can’t get through the entire clip. It’s creepy and nauseating, quite frankly.
Please watch the video…If you can’t get through the whole clip, just a few minutes will give you the gist. And please, share your reaction.
Normally I simply and succinctly articulate my position. In this case I’m conflicted and can’t seem to accurately interpret why it is that this video bothers me so much. After watching, I am angry, even offended…which is rare for me. I usually claim that nothing offends me. It’s almost a gift! But this pushes buttons. I hope you all can help me get my head around exactly why. I’m a man, and unapologetic (more so now than ever before) about how I experience and relate to masculinity. It’s an authentic expression. I am also a loving, caring, intuitive man who does what is needed to support and protect the ones I love. I believe that this is a TRUE expression of masculinity and I will not apologize.
Tied into the dilemma is my view of the person who shared the video with me and is its biggest cheerleader. I’ve witnessed his “path” over the last 12 years and he represents to me an uncomfortable reality that is often seen in group dynamics – especially personal growth group dynamics. Meet “Larry.” He’s about 60 years old and has been embedded deep inside this community for over 25 years. He’s never held a job for more than a year. He is essentially homeless; surfing from couch to couch on the kindness of others in the community. He lives in LA without a car – because it was impounded. He’s a heterosexual man who’s never had a successful relationship. AND GET THIS: He bills himself as a life coach specializing in the Art of Romance. He even wrote a book about it (unsuccessful). He hides inside the community which I see does him a great disservice by enabling his delusions. He advertises and professes his “expertise” shamelessly on several different boards and venues mostly inside the protection of the community. I watch in amazement. A few have tried to call him out and he comes back with practiced language about this being his life purpose. It drives me crazy.
So, I’m a bit all over the place as this swirls in my head unresolved. I would truly appreciate feedback from REAL people outside the bubble. Am I delusional? Maybe Larry truly does represent the “New Masculine” and I’m just a knuckle dragging relic that needs to surrender to a new paradigm and offer up my nut sack for emasculation. HMM is fairly good at clipping a nut sack. I’ll be seeing her in a few weeks. If you all think I am off base here I will gladly hand her the scissors.
My fate is in your hands.
POST SCRIPT: I almost broke up with HMM-actually she was about to drop me; sad but true. She watched the video before reading my post and thought I was a proponent. Instant deal breaker. We quickly picked up the pieces of our damaged relationship while reveling in the comic stylings of Mr. Will Ferrell. This was a bit of salve for my wounds. He says labia with a straight face which is always admirable. Watch and laugh.
 | If you liked this post, please consider leaving a comment, share, or subscribe to RSS feed |
Filed under: Tuesdays with Gooley
RELATED POSTS & INTERESTSGooley's take on the Million Milf March...Tuesday with Gooley~~ episode 26Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 25Gooley on TRUTHTuesdays with Gooley- Episode 24 |
Have to agree, that video is disturbing, yet I’m not 100% sure why. The guys completely creep me out. There is a balance between male and female and they are completely throwing it out of whack! Much preferred the Will Ferrell version.
I am hosting a dozen HMM’s thurs night for “book club”. Can’t wait to get their opinion on this.
For some stupid reason my phone wont play the video. Is there amother link to i
absolutely.. here ya go
and note: no need to watch the whole thing.. you’ll get the gist in the first few minutes.
http://youtu.be/K_uRIMUBnvw
I am amazed I could stomach the first four minutes. Maybe it’s because I’m a cynic but these guys A) seem to be using the “I’m so sensitive” route to impress women to get into the pants of granola-crunchy chicks. Or B)that their’s so controlled by their partners that they didn’t have the sack to say “Are you nuts?!” when told they needed to do this. Or finally, C)that they are so desperate to finally lose their virginity – that they will do anything.
i’m telling you…. i saw it before i read the post (came in a seperate email) and I kept waiting for the punchline. Around minute 3 I texted Gooley a huge WTF? Went and read his post and was thankful that I didn’t have to break up with him… Creepy beyond measure. “we are sorry for your genital mutilation” really??
OMG I instantly thought “A” as well! Especially about the guy at 1:26. He just looked like too many frat-boys I knew in college! lol
I know…I’m still cringing that I did not qualify the video to HMM initially. She must have been as conflicted as I was.
Yeah…I get the vibe that these guys are playing a game for thetype of female I run across inside the bubble. Go super sensitive and hope for the best. So creepy….especially for me as I’ve been inside this “cult”ure.
I find it disturbing. I may be totally off base here but it’s almost as if men are apologizing for being men. The whole video is creepy and makes me appreciate when my husband takes charge of a situation and handles things for me even more. I don’t hold any man responsible for the sins of the past, why would these men feel the need to apologize for them. I’m going to show it to my husband and get his opinion.
AJ…please do! And ask him to weigh in.
I understand the distinction between overcompensating macho and masculine. Isn’t that the only distinction that needs to be made??
This video was disturbing. I found it incredibly patronizing but I can’t verbalize why. I dont think a few select men can apologize for a gender or even should apologize. Also, are you sure this isn’t a video dating service?
i’m almost POSITIVE it’s a video dating service. For serial killers.
I know I am still on probation so I will be brief. To steal a line from one of my heroes http://youtu.be/iTTqsu5HK-A ….Not one of them smiled. They are just scary and cannot be trusted. I think they are female vampires or robots at least. I know you jest regarding your conflictions…
Your “Friend”? Sounds like you are thinking what everyone else hopefully is thinking. But the collective spirit there negates dissension so he survives. Albeit in an obscure unconventional arena. Use your teachings allowing him to enjoy his position which may give him his only joys in life. Rest assured others realize his work does not back up what he speaks. Let him pretend and just laugh….Just watched it again Jim…LMFAO!!!!
This is why we are Marching on Rue de Bourbon! It’s all about the MILFS! We have been oppressed for far too long. We shall band together for a weekend and let the Conscious Man fall down on his knees and beg for our forgiveness for all the sins of Men!
(…… oh, and buy us drinks! We like that too!)
word to your mother.
BEST. COMMENT. EVER. Word to your mother.
McNuts! LOL!
You totally redeemed yourself with that Spicoli reference.
Well Played!
Holy Shiz Ann!!!!
Second that…
Men buying drinks is a good start…bring your clippers too as nutsacks may need tending to.
Dan!!!
Perfect…Spicoli?? The pixies are working. I’m so proud.
And you are right. I need to let it go. He’s found some vestige of happiness
but a romance and relationship expert?? You should see this guy. Spicoli described him perfectly.
Reminds me of a few friends we have…We let them find refuge in our protected castle knowing full well they could not find love elsewhere. Thanks Ann….
that explains DJ
LMAO!!! YEAH! But there are unfortunately others who you could readily name. But so cool you got that!! But none quite as hideous as those dikless fembots that Jim rolled out…Still recovering from the horror….
My co- worker, who is male, says these men know NOTHING about women. He also says he is not going to shoulder what other men have done and apologize for them. I am still waiting to hear my husbands thoughts.
For some reason I had trouble completely focusing on the video. You know, the 2 minutes that I watched it. I was only thinking “is there a video about white people apologizing to African-Americans about the whole slavery thing?”
Anyways, I feel that I am very easygoing when it comes to people and their beliefs. You feel like being a doormat and apologizing for centuries of things you didn’t do? Fine by me. I don’t want to keep hearing about it though. One apology I could brush off and forget, but 8 fucking minutes worth?!
These guys would make for excellent studies for psychologists.
Sad thing is…the “guy” on the right is a psychologist. HIS name is Gay Hendricks, and he spoke alongside his wife…playing kissyface…at our graduation! Alot of my angst may stem from being associated somehow with this.
And HMM…killer DJ drop!
made it to 2:11…i would like 2:11 of my life back gooley.
lots more thoughts on the subject if you want to rap next month, way too long to type. Peace and love brutha.
Ps, dan, quit kissing ass.
PSS you rock Ann!
Ugh.. You know right where it hurts Jode. Did not know the whole story…Jim if you get close enough to it again please snaps its neck…
Joe Dee…what can I say. We’ll have a break out conversation. We’ll cry. And resolve all of our mother issues. Then we’ll dance!
you gonna talk Joe DEE into attending the MMM?
YES….I need a wingman. That concept alone is so bizarre it deserves a post.
i thought I was your wingman? and you were mine? but Jody.. — 3 wheelers are sturdier…
sounds good Gooley. the MMM? me and 10,000 drunk women with clippers on bourbon street…what could possibly go wrong? haha
Where did they find these men? Did they pay them? Did they tell them it was for an SNL skit? I think i threw up in my mouth and barely made it past the first 2 minutes. Seriously, r they in prison? is this for victims and their families on a dateline special? It is creepy.
I watched the entire video. Like a train wreck that you can’t look away from. I just had a very vivid mental image of these “men” saying their lines, wearing their shirts but nothing else….there for revealing their vaginas.
I would like to take this moment to apologize for the video and the men that made it.
I know it may have offended you. And I am TRULY sorry for that.
Some of the men in that video may already be dead. And I am sorry that they will not get to hear your words of condemnation.
If I have offended you simply by writing these words, then I am sorry.
P.S. Sorry
Toby… you are THE BEST. Period.
Ha!!
I’m sorry for not being sorry enough.
So so sorry. And I apologize too.
Spot on Tobe!!
I am sorry that they guy at 3:22 does not realize that his hair is offensive to womankind.
I am sorry that the color mauve exists.
I am sorry that in the ocean big fish eat little fish.
I am sorry that in my rational mind, I cannot imagine what would possess these men to embark on such an absurd journey that truly seems to lead to nowhere.
If they are truly that sorry, perhaps the proper thing to do, were I a man, would be to punch each one of them in the mouth for spewing that shit and then see if they feel the score is even.
I am at a loss as to how any self-respecting man would NOT be disturbed by that. That is so amazingly twisted and pointless. I bet even Gloria Steinem would be offended by that!
OMG!!!!!! I apologize for reading this one late. Holy cow!!! WTF is wrong with people? those men were creepy, creepy, and more creepy!!!!! What a complete load of crap!
Why did this bother you? Because it would bother any PERSON with an ounce of dignity.
This is the worst example of pathetic preening I’ve ever seen. As if any of these ‘nadless pukes had the wherewithal to commit any of the offenses they are so eager to own and apologize for. No, they are compensating for their total inadequacy as MEN by trying to confuse the viewer as they are confused and conflicted… because they have no idea of what it truly means to be a MAN. Or worse, because maybe they do have an inkling of what manhood really is, and they know they have never and can never measure up, so they denigrate what they realize they can never be while disguising their denigration as humility.
Men, women, blacks, whites, etc., cannot fairly be collectively held responsible for the acts of others; that is stereotyping at its most venal. I am proud to be a male, do my best to live a life of integrity and honor, do not blame others for acts they are not guilty of, and do not accept any blame for the acts of others.
So, instead of being disturbed or conflicted, I am outraged. All of those miserable excuses for human beings can go to Hell… and they can kiss my ass on the way!
amen… making sure Gooley comes back to read this one
+1
Thanks ObiJohn,
You put words to my confusion. I’ve watched parts of this video again since posting and it gets worse every time. The feigned sincerity is such a front for deep failure and inadequacy. So these men form groups and validate each other…and then empower each other. A lot of energy gets wasted justifying their stance. Mental and verbal masturbation displaces any true acts of manhood. It’s how cults thrive.
This is a cult I’d enjoy invading. I’d knock them l over with a pillow, hold up their nuts and ask HMM to snip. I doubt there would be anybody worth saving.
doh, the +1 was to Obijohn’s comment.
yeah.. he nailed it.