Hot Mess Mom » Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent » Topics to discuss with future therapist(s) – Number 187
Topics to discuss with future therapist(s) – Number 187
Scene: Seven and I trying to get the boys to bed. 9 pm on a Friday night. They all had football practice earlier.. We had family dinner, watched some tv.. and we are now shipping them to la-la-land…
All 5 of us are in my room. Hugging and kissing and giggling and saying our bedtime prayers.
Seven: Number One.. your hair always smells so good.. it must be the only part of your body that you actually wash.
Me: Maybe when you get hair on your nuts you’ll wash those too.
Number One: I DO have hair on my nuts!
{{NOTE: everything from here down is said in barely decipherable hysterical giggle speak…}}
Me: You dooo?????
Number One: Yes.
Me: Can I see it?
Seven: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Boys.. get out of here now! Go to bed!!
Number One: Jeez Mom.
Me: {hyperventilating with laughter..}.
Number Two: Mom, have you seen his nuts lately? They are huge!
Number One comes at him fists flying…
Me: Don’t piss him off.. When you guys get hair on your nuts and they get all big, you’ll be super angry too… it happens… {snort snort giggle}
Number One: Oh my god.. I’m going to bed.
Me: Are you sure… {giggle} you don’t wan {snort, hiccup} t to give me just a peek? {bwaaahaaa!!}
Seven: OH MY GOD!! What is wrong with you?????
Number One: G’Nite Mom..
Me: I can get you some tweezers if you just want to pluck one so I can see it..
AND.. SCENE!
I do not have enough money for the therapy that my kids will need.. here are some more examples of their future therapy bills.. Click that damn banner.
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Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
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I’m dying! I had kids at doctor for physicals and doctor decided to check the nuts out. So I had to make the situation more awkward for my teen…I asked how his balls were doing. 13yo wanted to kill me.
My theory is: joke about it and make the kids feel comfortable to at least know they can talk to you about anything.
Exactly
HAHAHAHAHA!! I’m so not looking forward to that moment with my son. Lucky for me, he’s not even 2 yet.
Oh goodness. Dying here.
I just found out #2 in the oven is a girl, so at least I won’t have to deal with nut hair.
U hope
My son is almost 10 and I am so not ready for this…. But your boys are awesome!
Keep track of those young ball sacks – at my 11 year old’s checkup last fall, we found out he had to have ball surgery because one creeped back up into his body. $5000 later, he and my 8-yr old son get asked to check their ball sack a couple times a week. They loved this post, by the way.
omg!! My dogs are licking my face thinking something is wrong because I’m laughing so darn hard I’m crying! That was awesome!!!!
Hope they didn’t just lick there ball sacks! LOL
Hahahaha…sounds like the convo I had with my daughter about my sometimes hair arm pits lol….oh my
hahaha very funny, having these conversations with my little ones are the days i dread but this has really made me laugh
Omg…I have a 14yr old and I remember going through this.
Hahaha!! I was informed the afternoon after my 10 year old sons “family life” class that “Hey mom I hit puberty”. Which I muffled my giggle and asked Oh yeah how are you sure? I was hoping for a safe zone answer but nooooo. “Cuz I have hair on my balls”. I could do nothing but yell my husbands name. This story is hilarious. I could actually see my boys doing the same thing.
I love it!!!!!
Oh dear lawd I will be laughing about this the rest of the day…while we are discussing boy parts:
15 yr Old brother like son: “um, theres something wrong with my..um…ya know…?”
Me: “well, your going to have to show me..use your hands to cover all other unnecessary parts to the problem.”
After careful inspection: “Dude, you have a tick, in like, the head of your dick…how the FRUCK did you get a tick there?”
Him: “Well, can you get it out?”
Me: Nods solemnly, “Yes, let me get the lighter……..”