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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Ramblings » To blog or to Facebook? That is the question….

To blog or to Facebook? That is the question….


New Year, New resolutions, New blog post.

Same bullshit.

In addition to my normal “let me be better” goals of lose weight, exercise more, drink less, don’t smoke, blah blah blah….  I REALLY do want to get to back to writing on the blog on a semi-regular basis (ie: weekly).

But here’s the rub.   Writing on the blog is kind of a pain in the ass.

Let me e’splain…  No, it’s too much…  Let me sum up ..

  1. I need access to a computer.   I’m a busy bee.  I’m not home that often.   I have a smartphone.  Updating a Facebook status with my thumbs is easy.  It’s quick.  It’s painless.  It offers immediate gratification.
  2. I do not run diagnostics on either my Facebook page or the blog.  I should, but I don’t.  I don’t have the time (or quite frankly, the interest).  This means I have no idea who is reading what, where they come from, how they got here or how many people are visiting on a regular basis.
  3. I can glance at Facebook with my vodka-addled ADD brain and see that I’ve gained 1000 new followers that day or I can visit my blog and approve the 2-5 comments that came in that week.
  4. I can spend hours crafting a beautifully written, heart felt blog post about my children, parenting, the death of a soldier, or any other REAL topic and it may elicit a few comments.   I can update my Facebook status to read “I made poo-poo” and it will gain one thousand LIKES and hundreds of comments in under an hour.






Why should this matter?  Shouldn’t I just write because I want to write?

Yes, I should..   And mostly I just want to write on Facebook.

Except for when I don’t.

I’ve developed an unhealthy love/hate relationship with Zuckerberg’s love child.  It’s the 6th entity in my family.  It’s an integral part of my daily life.  It gives me joy.  It makes me giggle.  It makes me love many people fiercely and makes me want to run others over with my car.

However, at the end of the day… I am a grown ass woman.  I make my choices.  I have thick skin.  I choose to keep the page open because the good VASTLY outweighs the bad.   For every unhappy asshole, there are 1000 of you who either A) enjoy what your are reading or B) don’t agree with or enjoy every post but are adults and know that if you start disliking more than you like, you can very easily click a button and Hot Mess Mom will be nothing but a distant memory.


 I think it’s important to realize what kind of people start Facebook PAGES.

  1. Individuals who believe they have something to say that absolutely MUST be heard by the masses.
  2. Attention whores
  3. Narcissists
  4. Anyone with an internet connection and opposable thumbs.

What does this mean?   It means that literally ANYONE can start a Facebook page.  And it’s up to YOU.. YOU, the reader… YOU, the owner of your destiny…the master of your domain… YOU, the grown ass men and women that you are… it’s up to YOU to decide which, if any, pages you wish you follow.

There are pages about religion, spiritually, parenting, faith, hatred, abortion, politics, birds, squirrels, cute kitten pics, abuse, rape, addiction, support, recovery, and every other topic under the sun.  Add to those the fucktillion pages that are nothing but memes about how much Monday’s suck, how wonderful coffee and wine are, and how everyone else can go fuck themselves.

I am not any of those pages.  I do not espouse to offer guidance, inspiration or cute pictures.


If you LIKE  a page that describes itself as the above, and are later shocked or disappointed that you are being forced to look at pictures of MY vacation or what I am making for dinner… then be a fucking grown-up and say to yourself “Self, I’ve made a terrible mistake.  I do not like this page, I’m going to go away now”.   Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy!

In the two years of HMM’s existence, I have never asked to be “shared” by a larger page.  This has resulted in 150,000 of you who have clicked that little thumby bastard by your own volition.  And 99% of you (us) are like-minded individuals who just want to laugh at the ridiculousness of life.  Some of you have vacation homes and others mobile homes.   Some of you summer in Europe while others struggle to feed their families.  We don’t have a niche.  We don’t need one.   What we have in common is a desire to escape the daily grind if only for a moment,  and the ability to laugh at our own messiness.

So, please..  stick around.  But for the love of God, play nice.  And when random strangers take the time (out of their very fulfilling lives) to tell me what a useless piece of shit, braggart, bad parent, narcissist, attention whore, spoiled brat I am..  I am allowed to fight back.  This doesn’t make me a bully.  It makes me human.  And if someone is going to behave in an assholish manner on a large page, then chances are the page owner is going to defend themselves and the rest of their readers.  In the case of Hot Mess Mom.. if you’re gonna be a dick, prepare to fall victim to “Wrath of the Messes”.  They are wonderfully loyal people who watch over their own.  They also won’t hesitate to cut a mother fucker when provoked.

Phew!   Now that THAT is off my chest…   Here’s to a wonderful 2014…  I really am going to try to write more.   For realz…


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Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings



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63 Responses to "To blog or to Facebook? That is the question…."

  1. Brandy says:

    I have just recently been introduced to your page and I’m just gonna say, I LOVE IT!!! You are my kinda woman, shoot from the hip take no nonsense and no prisoners kinda gal! I look forward to reading what you write, wherever you wanna write it! :)

  2. jenni lynn says:

    LOL…love love love you!!

  3. Kathi Pearce says:

    I love your page. There have een times when Ive thought about closing down my facebook then something happens on your page to keep me going. Lol. I have a boring life and love the antics of you, your family, your admins and my fellow readers. So please keep it up and never stop!!

  4. Wanda Baker says:

    Well said, I love your page and have enjoyed your family vacation posts as well. You’re awesome. Keep that shit up.

  5. Melanie says:

    Weird, I googled DTFC to see what the hell it meant, hit a link for your blog…. and BAM while I’m reading it, you’re on here with a new blog…..creeeepy. Stick with FB, I’m too lazy to pop back & forth to read a blog-no matter how funny it is. & by lazy I mean, Im sick, working on my 2nd full day on the couch, wondering if I really have to feed #4 today or if he can live off that almost grown out of belly chub he still has..and also, typing seems to be breaking me out in a sweat. Keep on keepin on…you make me laugh.

  6. sara says:

    i discovered you through a friend on facebook & was laughing till it hurt. so awesome to read your thoughts & others’ comments there, but i also love the blog (though i am not one to normally leave comments).. there’s just that extra umph that goes into writing on your blog. love what you share either way! thank you for being you!!

  7. Karen Flores says:

    Happy New Year! I love your page! Love your style! You make me smile every day! Stay true to yourself! You are unique and refreshing.I think you should write where you feel most comfortable and happy. That’s what’s it’s all about anyway. Love from Tucson, Arizona.

  8. Celia says:

    I see another T shirt in the making. ” Wrath of the Messes”

  9. .Barbara says:

    Totally enjoy your posts!

  10. Monica says:

    YOU ROCK! You are often a bright, frickin ray of sunshine in my day. That’s not to say my days all suck, but you make it happier. SO? I say keep doin whatever makes you happy and screw all those others who are wearing their underoos 2 sizes too small. Viva La HMM!

  11. I wanted to like this post on Facebook, but then I read it . Now I don’t know what to do. My world is all broken asunder. Thanks for that ;-) Also, good for you for fighting back!

  12. Sonia says:

    well said. mostly. which is why i enjoy reading your stuff. thanks for taking the time to write it down. i don’t. so yeah, thanks.

  13. Cherie says:

    I fell in love with you on the blog, I LOVE the blog, I comment on the blog, I go back and re-read the blog. On vacations and girls trips I read the blog out loud with tears of laughter running down my face, pains in my sides, and gasping for air to continue reading about your messy life. Don’t get me wrong, I love the FB posts too, but I love-love the blog so…….I get FB posts are short, sweet, to the point and easy and that’s great ….. when I don’t want the foreplay, but what woman doesn’t like foreplay? Blog more please!

  14. Cherie says:

    Oh and can I tell you how bad I want the Madwoman to come out and play? Dayum- I miss her too!

  15. jay says:

    Guys like you too. Came aboard fairly recently, but find your look on life to be very funny. Thank you.

  16. Tracy says:

    Love the blog post and your FB page. Keep it up Hot Mess! :)

  17. Kate says:

    I love your blog, I miss it. Fb is like a quickie momentarily gratifying(and sometimes leaves you feeling a little dirty), but not as emotionally fulfilling as your blog.

  18. Donna says:

    Love,love,love your blog post and FB page! Keep the awesome writings of day coming! We are all a Hot Mess whether we admit it or not!

  19. D'Anna says:

    I NEVER read blogs, except for yours, occasionally, let alone comment on them! Love your Facebook page, and for Craps sake, if adults cant figure out how to UNLIKE a page if they find it unsavory, then they deserve to be exposed to whatever comes across their screens. Keep posting whatever the hell you want on YOUR OWN PAGE,and the trolls can run away screaming into the night! Brag on!

  20. Kara C says:

    LOVE your page! Agree completely with this post.

  21. Kat says:

    First time reader and now lifelong follower. Love what you have to say and how you say it. I too am a grown ass woman and will cut a bitch for messing with me and mine.

    That said. Happy 2014 to you!

  22. Angie says:

    I just wanted to say…. I love you!! I love your blog, I love your facebook page and also you web page!! I love love love you vodka products!! Keep going. Please don’t ever stop what you’re doing. You. Are. Amazing!!! B

  23. Angie says:

    You have a great page and i regularly follow your page.. :) I am on here checking out ur blog and website!

  24. Jenny D says:

    Too tired to offer a creative response of my own, so I shall simply echo all the positive responses already given!

    Great page, great people!

    Bonus points for the obscure ‘Princess Bride’ reference! :)

  25. Cassandra says:

    Fuck Yeah! That is all.

  26. cindy says:

    Keep on doing whatever you feel like doing!

  27. Jenny D says:

    Ugh…previous post had wrong e-mail address for follow-up notification! :-/

    Too tired to offer a creative response of my own, so I shall simply echo all the positive responses already given!
    Great page, great people!
    Bonus points for the obscure ‘Princess Bride’ reference!

  28. Laura says:

    I hope you continue with the blog…I don’t have ADD and therefore love to prolong my gratification in reading about the HMM. Please continue…I love the mini-blasts on FB but do enjoy “the rest of the story”! Love you HMM!

  29. Tiffany says:

    I love hmm…it’s real shit..for everyday mom’s life…Thank you for keeping it real

  30. Michele says:

    Nicely said…. That’s deserves an adult beverage …or three.

  31. eileen says:

    out of everything that you took your time to write- “They also won’t hesitate to cut a mother fucker when provoked.” is my favorite!!!! never stop being you, the messes make my days a little happier!

  32. Lois G says:

    I just LOVE you!
    SOOOOOO damn glad I tripped over your page on FB!

  33. Paula says:

    Found your page recently & I thank you for the laughs that I get! If you can’t laugh we’ll all go Crazy!

  34. Vicki says:

    Being a woman of “some years and more” even I know how to dislike a page….won’t happen to this one. Love to look each day, have a laugh and move on and wait for the next post. Keep on putting a smile on our faces.

  35. carolyn conway says:

    Love your FB posts! I’m a Hot Mess Grandma and proud of it!

  36. carolyn conway says:

    I’m a old Hot Mess Grandma and love your posts. Keep them coming!

  37. Karina says:

    “Hide ya kids,Hide ya wife” HMM is gonna cut a bitch! Lol….I think the occasional blog posts will suffice…ya know something are needing to express in a longer form than a stays update. However daily Facebook posts are a must! Or I will yell……really loud…that is all ;)

  38. Karina says:

    Stupid fucking autocorrect sucks btw



  40. mon says:

    Look forward to reading everyday. Love your page. Am also a hot mess grandma. Keep on writing.

  41. Heather says:

    Damn straight, woman! We all love you and damnit, I’m SO gonna get on a bitch if someone comes after this little community of ours!

  42. Jessica says:

    Amen. Well said!

  43. Alisa says:

    Exactly! Well said. I have a page too and it’s rarely used but it’s there and it’s fun. Love your page

  44. lynn says:

    :like: just saying….smiling

  45. Hayley says:

    Love you of FB! Love you on here!! You brighten my day and always make me giggle! Just keep on keeping on and such fucktards will weed themselves out over time! Although, on second thought, even they have a place in the scheme of things..they help those of us who are of the “messes” band together to support our cause with it’s ok, I guess, that those who have no life and no sense of humour or adventure sometimes harass you a bit. Beware The Wrath of the Messes!!!!

  46. Joy says:

    2-5 comments, huh? I believe I see a lot more here than that, just today. Anyway, hope you continue to create blogs simply because sometimes I don’t see your comments on my newsfeed in fb and also reading comments on fb is a pain in the butt, especially on my phone. One wrong push of a button and I’m back at the bottom. I never was able to see the whole whore/garbage bag controversy. I really feel like I missed out there!

  47. Angie says:

    I LIVE for the honesty, the unfiltered, and to be honest, am a little jealous. I live the life of a censored – have to watch everything i post.

    You give me hope for the future that someday I too can just be a hot mess!!

  48. Katherine says:

    I truly enjoy your fb posts and page. Thank you for being you… and sharing.

  49. Sara says:


  50. Cayona says:

    Live and learn I suppose. Like the scoop so far. I’m in. :)

  51. Cayona says:

    I like the blogs but also Facebook. Which ever serves your lifestyle best is fine with me.

  52. I miss your blogs! You were one of the very first blogs I started following a couple of years ago.

    That being said, I fucking love your FB page too. However I’m not too happy about the fact that all your bear posts almost made my bladder explode when I was camping in Blue Springs because I was too terrified to exit the tent to take a pee. If anyone knew how close I actually was to the tent when I finally DID break down and unzip the flap, they would be disgusted. The bears did not eat me though, and that’s something.

  53. Meredith says:

    Maybe what you need is a “seeing eye blogger”, someone who can write your shit down while you’re on the go.
    it’s like a receptionist who can’t make coffee.


  54. Emily Wilson says:

    I just found your blog and I can’t get enough of it. I have a 2 year old and a 10 year old. I love your thinking and writing!

  55. Stefanie says:

    I just came across your blog, and I hope you continue writing! I think you’re hilarious! I just started writing a blog as I want to get away from Facebook and reach out to moms (and dads!), and felt that I was hoarding my wall with baby stuff that people just didn’t care about. I guess my friends are assholes, who knows.

    Please keep writing. I’ll be reading!

  56. Lia says:

    I “liked” your facepage (during one of those rsre occasions when my 2 under 2 were BOTH asleep and the house was not fit for a cockroach… or they were both screaming and a rat was crawling on my shoulder but i was too tired to do anything about it) after a “friend” liked it. Just the title assured me id find laughter amoung your posts. As a smoke too much drink too much while daddy works too much (7am-9pm) mother of an 18 month old princess and a 4 month old booby loving boy whore who i delivered in my bathroom after a 2 minute bubble bath to ease back pain the day before labor day while daddy took daughter to the park in the rain and came home with a surprise present of a mop a month after my 5 year old mops head rusted and crumbled into dust, two months before sons due date. I officially became a hmm once the parametics cut the cord and whisked us away, followed by news crews that followed the ambulances that caused a busy intersection to be cut off by cop cars to my dead end townhouse community, immediately reporting on live news of the literal labor day surprise, causing uproar over why i chose to call daddy instead of 911, how careless and neglectful i must be to survive labor and delivery without seeing a doctor when reality was he just slipped out after my 3rd oh shat contraction, immediately following my water (or blood tinted placenta) bursting into a kid sized swimming pool on the tile floor… this uproar alerted police who alerted the department of breaking up children and families to “investigate” how really horrible no good of a mother i am (not)… and how my train has derailed, i cannot find the start of this sentence… but this hmm wanted to give you a thumbs up, not for making me laugh nor putting up w bs judgemental insecure immature bashings, but because i probably would be guilted into self homocide in order to allow my children to be adopted by a “good” mom if it werent for your fb rants and followers support allowing me to feel a little less horrible no good terrible and just a smidge more normal, you know, under completely not normal circumstances

  57. Jaxs says:

    Personally, I love this page and blog because you sooooo candidly remind me of
    My dear mom who I don’t get to see/speak to regularly as I’m stationed in Europe. Keep it up and never let the bastards get you down. And if they can’t take a joke….well then they can just go right on ahead and F themselves ;)

  58. Deanna says:

    I just found your page through a friend and have to say that..although I have no idea what you look lime, I’m sure we are twins separated at birth. You are damn funny, down to earth, and sound like you don’t take any shit from anyone!! I look forward to seeing you on FB daily!!

  59. Tiffany says:

    I just happened onto your site during a random search. I loved this post. I actually began to giggle the further down I read because you say it like it is. And I can relate. Love it and am bookmarking you so I can make my back again. Keep up the good work!

  60. John h. In Phoenix says:

    I’m loving on you so hard!

    I’ve intended, nay…longed, to write for so long. Yet I’ve always been more of an editor, y’know? Anyone who knows me (and some who don’t) could tell you that I, in their opinion, need a 12 step program to free myself from the bonds of Facebook. But I just don’t see it that way. I love looking in peoples’ windows, bedrooms, closets, cars, ovens and sometimes bathrooms. For a multitude of reasons. The summary of all this could fill a blog. See? There it is.

    Can’t I have both? Wouldn’t that be the best of both worlds? I think I have enough to say in order to fill both voids in my life. Like you (pardon the comparison) I love the instantaneous satisfaction of Facebook. But I also love the slower pace of a blog. I don’t think I could blog daily. I often Facebook hourly. Torn between two lovers. And yes, feeling like a fool.

    So, as a Louisiana boy living in Phoenix enjoying the contrasting drama in two parallel conservative universes, I’ve chosen to name my new blog “Knee Deep in Cactus Bayou”. As a gay man, I thought seriously about working in the word Rainbow or Pink in the title, but why impose my agenda, right?

    Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

    BTW, love me some Hot Mess Mom. Bless your heart!

  61. Tiffany K. says:

    As a struggling, single mama of four, i relate to your posts and look forward tp reading them. you remind me that its okay to be imperfect; that its okay to be a hot mess! Fuck the haters!!!

  62. kari hutson says:

    So glad I found your Facebook page. I love love love your blog. I agree Facebook is so easy I am a junkie myself. It is great for daily quick peeks, but your blog is fabulous. You are the “Ellen” of blogs. You do what you do so well! Thank you for making our days funnier! And keep on keeping on…

  63. Lisa says:

    I just found your website, and I truly think we could be fast friends! I especially loved the bad parent, good Mom blog! Keep blogging and FBing!

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