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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Family » This is how Seven & I fight

This is how Seven & I fight

 

Seven & I bicker all of the time.  We are both sarcastic and snarky with a little mean mixed in for good measure.  We don’t FIGHT a lot, we argue occasionally, but mostly it’s bickering where one or both of us is giggling throughout.

Yesterday, however, we ARGUED.  Please bear witness to our argument.

Scene: 

I’m in the middle of a fucktillion things and trying to get showered and out of the house before the maids come.  Seven calls..“Hey, the sprinkler guy is on his way over there, you need to show him where everything is”    Assuming that Seven is at his office 45 minutes away, I said “Shit.. okay.. let me go.. I’ve got to jump in the shower and finish up my shipments before the ladies come”    I did NOT know that he was calling me from the Starbucks three miles away.  So, I rush around, don’t wash my hair, scramble scramble, and Seven and the sprinkler guy arrive at the same time.

How’d you get here? 

I was at Starbucks.

You CALLED me to do this and you were at Starbucks?  Really??   {grunt, sigh, exhale, eye roll}

A few hours later….

You know, that was really selfish of you this morning.  I had a million things going on.. I understand if you were at the office, but you seriously called me from Starbucks to handle an issue so you could finish up your fucking Chai Latte??

I drink plain coffee.

You’re a dick. 

Hey Hey Hey!! {hands up and waving}  don’t act like I didn’t do anything today!! I got up early with Number Three to finish his homework!!

Yeah.. I know.. that’s called PARENTING… you don’t get extra credit for being a PARENT.  Millions of people do it every day. 

Do you get extra credit for being a jackass?  Cuz if so, you’d have straight A’s.

I may have straight A’s but you’d be the fucking Valedictorian of the entire Jackass Academy.

And that is how we fight.


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15 Responses to "This is how Seven & I fight"

  1. Muffy says:

    This post just increases my love for both of you exponentially.

  2. Janis says:

    Lol.. Thats how we fight too.. Never really a winner or a loser.. Im usually right though… Just alot of bitching and sarcasm…

  3. Valerie says:

    Love it! Snarky yes, but quick…love that! Laughter and quick whit make it so much more fun. :)

  4. "The Referee" says:

    Miss Mess, please notify me in advance so I can attend the next “HMM-vs-Seven Match. Points will be properly awarded and scored, and then a winner crowned! :)

    1. Carla W. says:

      Me, too! I want to sell tickets and popcorn! LOL I don’t care what you say, I want your life!

  5. mia says:

    You guys rock.

  6. Michelle says:

    You guys are freaking hilarious!! I’m so glad I am not the only one in dysfunctional relationship!

  7. Shana says:

    Frackin’ awesome! I lOvE it!! It sounds like a perfectly normal fight to me…..

  8. Nadine says:

    I find it so funny how men think they are “helping” when they do something with the children. That is their JOB as well. It is like they want a round of applause for cleaning a baby bottle :)

  9. Gina says:

    We fight the same way! I travel a lot so when my husband has to take care of our three kids, everyone thinks he is a saint almost a hero. When I have to stay home with the three kids because he is out of town visiting family or hunting, no one even bothers to call in and check in on me. And then when he has to take care of one of HIS children, is the same thing…..in his mind he thinks “I am taking our sick child to the doctor, this should entitle me to one night of uninterrupted T.V. and maybe some sex.” Our fights (which are very rare) usually end with me saying, “I am leaving and you are keeping the kids!” And I am NOT joking!!!!

    1. Evil-Step-Mom says:

      LOL, Sorry but the thing you may be missing is that everyone is checking in on him to make sure the kids are ok and are just so relieved that all is well with a man in charge of childcare even for a little bit. There is something wrong with the whole scenario I know. But I have been unmarried until late last year, and never had children of my own, We have had custody of two of his kids for two years (one is his step-daughter from his previous marriage), you would think people would be concerned with ME taking care of the kids, nope! He is still regarded as doing something outstanding when he handles the childcare stuff when I travel for work……. But apparently because I was born with a child shoot and feeding devices regardless of the fact that they have never been used for that purpose I am the one everyone thinks can do it all and it’s expected. WHY? I am a step-parent with no children of my own, who in there right mind would think I (37 year old tom-boy, no kids, career driven, workaholic, works in a corporate position in the very Male dominant BEER industry) would be better at childcare than a father of four who has already raised his two older children so far?

      Twisted old school mentality, that will never change. (Seriously who do you think taught me HOW to take care of them? HE DID!)

  10. Lunardonut says:

    How is it that you can actually write in a way that makes me feel like I had a front row seat at the fight? You are brilliant and I love when you make me laugh out loud at my computer screen.

  11. Evil-Step-Mom says:

    Oh and I love the fight!! It is exactly the deal with our best friends! We sit and laugh at them the whole time, then we help! Then they turn on us and tell us to shut up and stop stealing the fun out of there fight! We are more more mixed. He is more short tempered, grumpy fighter and gets quickly annoyed with smart-ass commentary in a disagreement situation, I am analytical, quick at reasoning, and a smart-ass expert that can shot little Smart-Ass annoying daggers just to egg him on and leave little “truths” behind that really piss him off because he knows I’m right. When I see his is as mad as I am then I let him alone, till he mellows and then we talk and all is well. Why is it our jobs to torture our husbands when they do the same shit we all know they are going to do, like have you run your ass off when they are three min away and can do the shit themselves, or forgets everything and blames their long hours and tiredness, even when you were at work for longer hours and got less sleep? Oh yeah thats right because they need it sometimes to remind them how much more shit they would have to do themselves if we weren’t here to do it for them!

    Good thing for us we didn’t have our first argument until we were together for like two years, and in five years have only really fought maybe 2-3 times. Also good that he thinks the Smart-Ass commentary is funny as hell, as long as I’m not pissed off at the time and tossing it at him, or we would be in some shit!

  12. Ned says:

    LOL! In that case maybe you should ARGUE more often and share it with us readers coz that definitely makes for a good read ;)

  13. Jessie says:

    First, how am I just now finding your blog??? I think I’ve read about 82 posts today. This one made me laugh out loud! My hubs and I fight the same way. So glad to finally find another blog that lays it out there honestly! I’m now a forever reader!

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