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Hot Mess Mom » Family, Stellar Parenting Advice » There’s a hole in my bucket list.

There’s a hole in my bucket list.


Last night, the boys and I were hanging on the couch, watching Duck Dynasty, when out of nowhere Number Two (10) asks

“Mom, what’s on your bucket list?”

Of course I giggled and asked what he knows of bucket lists.  Surprisingly he knew exactly what a bucket list was and insisted that we discuss mine.

Hmmm.. Let me think…  {silence}

Mom! There have to be things you want to do!

But I DO stuff!! When I want to do something, I DO it!  I mean, there are places I want to go.. LOTS of places I want to travel to… but nothing that I absolutely have to do before I die.

Mom.. Seriously?

Dude..  I’ve jumped out of an airplane.  I’ve worked on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska.  I’ve hiked a glacier.  I’ve been to both Hawaii and Bermuda.  I’ve driven cross country.  I’ve lived on both coasts of the United States.  I’ve fallen in love.  I had you guys.  We own a home.

 I’ve taken each of you to New York City.  I’ve flown you to California just to drive you up and down the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible. We’ve spent weeks at the beach and weeks in the mountains.  We’ve slept in tents at campgrounds and in feather beds at 5-Star resorts.  

We’ve traveled by train, by plane, by boat, and by car.  We’ve taken limousines to airports and ridden our bikes to parks.  We’ve spent July 4th in Washington DC.  We’ve been to Broadway plays, MLB, NFL and NBA games.  We’ve fed the homeless. We’ve ridden both horses and elephants.  We’ve given piggy back rides to children at domestic abuse shelters. 

I’ve done stuff.  WE’VE done stuff!  I think maybe I don’t have a bucket list? 

Mom.. there has to be SOMETHING.. like.  win the lottery!  go to space!  own a jet-pack!!  

{giggle}.. Okay.. well, I don’t play the lottery so winning it is unlikely.  I have no desire to go to space unless it’s exactly like The Jetsons.  A jet-pack would be awesome.   I want to go to India.  I want to go to Thailand.  I want to take you guys to Costa Rica and I want to take you on safari in Africa.  I want to go to Ireland with Dad.   I want to get the pool resurfaced, the house painted and pay off our debt.  I want to keep taking a dozen trips a year.   

SEE!!!  You DO have a bucket list! 

I think it’s a To-Do list!   If “getting the house painted” is on my bucket list, just kill me now…  It’s a To-Do list!!  They aren’t wishes.. they are things that if I’m blessed to live long enough, I WILL DO.  If I have the means and the health, you guys WILL go to Africa.. you WILL zip-line in Costa Rica… you WILL go to Alaska…  Dad and I WILL vacation in Ireland.   

I think a bucket list and a to-do list are the same.  

Well, maybe they are.  But, other than having a jet-pack, I can think of nothing on my list that I couldn’t start planning for NOW and nothing that is impossible or even unlikely.  

Boys, let me tell you something..  When you have an opportunity to DO something.. DO it!   If you’re scared, DO it!  If there is something you want to do but don’t have the time, MAKE the time.  Don’t buy stuff.. DO stuff!   And if you do that, I can almost promise you that when you are 40 and your sons ask you what’s on your bucket list.. you’ll smile and think back on all of things that you have DONE and know that your bucket is empty.  

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Filed under: Family, Stellar Parenting Advice



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25 Responses to "There’s a hole in my bucket list."

  1. EBK says:

    That’s quite an accomplished “bucket list”. Love the pics.

  2. Red Hot Mama says:

    Love it. You don’t have a bucket list, you have a fuck it list. As in, “Fuck it. This is what I want to do, so we are going to do it.” And while the MMM looked amazing, so glad to have you back. Missed ya and shit.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      A fuck it list! I like it!!!

  3. K says:

    Awesome post!!!! I needed this today. ;).

  4. Tracy says:

    I hope your boys grow up knowing how very fortunate they are to have a mom that spent the money and was adventuresome enough to do so many awesome things with them. That you were able to do these things with them and took the time. Most people would not be so fortunate to have had all of these wonderful opportunities early in their life, or ever for that matter. Great post and pics.

  5. Karen says:

    What a life! You have shared so many adventures with your children! They will benefit from these experiences and be amazing, worldly adults and so interesting to chat with! Everyone will enjoy the stories they will tell! We’ll done mom!

    Hmmmm..I better get moving on my bucket list! :))

    Kk. :)))

  6. Bev says:

    I wish I had beenable to do some of that stuff. I have done some amazing things in my life but I have plenty more I’d love to do.

  7. Cheri O'Leary says:

    Loved this post with pics! I love your advice: Don’t buy stuff! Do stuff!

  8. Cassandra says:

    Bitch, if you go on an African Safari, call me! I might not be able to get the hubs to let me go to MMM, but I’d divorce that fucker for a Safari! Great post!

  9. Jessiel727 says:

    OMG… This was an awesome read! =D

  10. Carrie says:

    What a cool ass list. And what an even cooler asser list of stuff you’ve done.

    Hell, I just added “being you” to my bucket list.

  11. Vanessa says:

    Excellent post! I’m of the same belief. I’d rather spend money on experiences than buy a bigger and better house. Most of the things on my “bucket list” comprise of travels too–African Safari, go to Antartica and NYE in Times Square.

  12. I have two things on my bucket list: 1) Visit every continent (even Antarctica) 2) Visit every state (even Idaho).

    I’m doing ok on the continents (4/7) but not too well on the states (13/50).

    P.S. I too have worked on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska. Well, I actually only went out for a week. It was while I was visiting my dad who was a commercial fisherman by trade.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      You’re kicking my ass on continents!! but I’m killin’ ya on the states!
      Where did your dad fish out of? I was in Juneau.

      1. I don’t know how I arrived back here but I just noticed your response. :) My dad fished out of Cordova. He was born there and it was sort of the family tradition. I have a few cousins up there that still do it.

        1. Nicole says:

          I’m a transplanted Alaskan (originally from Oregon) but I live in Kodiak! Lots of boats here :)

  13. shae says:

    Very true! If there is something you really want to do, do it…dont make a list…you never finish them! Loved seeing what you have done!

  14. Nicole heisler says:

    Amen!! I love this!

  15. jamie says:

    This is amazing!!! I have done alot..but nothing close to this!! I think.I now have things to add to my bucket list!!

  16. Alyssha says:

    I am pretty sure that what you have is a very very full bucket. I have a lot to do :)

  17. Amy Jones says:

    Great post! I really love the advice that you gave your sons. You are one gal definitely worth emulating!

  18. Eva Marie says:

    Beautifully said.

  19. Barbi says:

    Damn it! You made me cry…

  20. Missy Waters says:

    I love this!!! Key words, “Don’t buy stuff, DO stuff”. I am thankful my ex-husband was never into stuff and he taught me material things are not important. I sleep at night, even as a single mom of 3 because we don’t have a fancy house or a fancy car, I am not house poor. I have always wanted to do stuff, I don’t want to worry about how to do stuff, I just want to do stuff. Make a dream board with your families, simplify your lives, it makes life easy and helps some of us sleep at night. Make goals, work together as a family, save here and there, give up things to DO stuff, make memories that last a lifetime.
    Life is short, go DO stuff as HMM says!!! HMM you are one cool cat, you just speak the truth others hide behind, there is not a perfect mom or dad or child. Live life as it, controlled chaos!!!! At least mine is sometimes controlled chaos! Thanks for always sharing and being honest HMM!!!!!!

  21. Janette says:

    I agree 100% with everything you said here. Just DO stuff. Don’t think about doing it!

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