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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Ramblings, Uncategorized » The Dollar Store…

The Dollar Store…


A trip to the Dollar Store is always a crash course in sociology.   My visits are preceded by equal amounts of dread and excitement.   Will it be clean?  Will it be dirty?  How many people will be wearing slippers?  Will there be anyone buying their wedding supplies from the party aisle?  How many children will I see being spanked?  How many children will run around wild and not get spanked?  Will anyone have curlers in their hair?  A hairnet?   Is today “bread day”?  The day that the bread gets delivered is a mad house!  I’ve only witnessed it once, but it’s reminicent of when Tickle Me Elmo hit Toys R Us…   (And FYI- there is a limit of loaves of bread per person….  it’s a very hot commodity)

If I’m being totally honest, I love the Dollar Store…  There is no better place to purchase party supplies,  themed trinkets, and holiday decor.  Mylar baloons, gift bags, poster boards and cleaning supplies are seriously about 1/4 of the price at a regular store. Of course, I never leave there having spent less than $100.  Never.  Everything is so cheap.. Why buy only one fake heart and disected finger when you can buy 10??   (My trip today was for some additional Halloween decorations.  Obviously).

That all being said.. I have drawn a line in the sand regarding items that I believe are appropriate to purchase from the Dollar Store.

  • Halloween decorations?   OKAY!
  • Cleaning Supplies?  SURE!
  • Shampoo/ Conditioner/ Body Wash?  Maybe– I wouldn’t buy it for myself, but I will use it in the boys’ bathroom.  They barely use it anyway…
  • Kitchenwares?  Absolutely!  I’ve bought wine glasses, bowls, platters, etc.   I have an entire box of “extra glasses” for when we have parties.  They are all Dollar Store purchases…
  • Party Supplies?   No better place!
  • Hammers?  Screwdriver?  Kitchen rags?  Flashlights?  Absolutely!  Go to town!!
  • Wedding Decor?   Okay… here is where I get a little judgy, but if that’s what you can afford..  go for it. 
  • Cheese Doodles and other food items?   I say no, but again.. I get that it may be a good deal for someone…    probably the lady in the slippers.


Here is where my HELL NO comes into play.

  You CANNOT purchase ovulation predictors, pregnancy tests, yeast infection medication or vaginal lube from the Dollar Store.  You just can’t!   I have no basis for my very strong opinion on this issue, but I just feel that it is WRONG.  So, so wrong.   (the manager was glaring at me while I was taking this picture.  I told him I was emailing the picture to my husband to see which lube he preferred)


So… to recap:   Halloween trinkets:  GREAT purchase at the Dollar Store!










HELL NO Dollar Store Purchases:      personal lube and toothepaste that was discontinued in the 80’s.  HELLS NO PEOPLE!  HELLS NO!!

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33 Responses to "The Dollar Store…"

  1. Angel says:

    Maybe if my $1 pregnancy test came up positive, I would only be a little bit pregnant.
    That would be a good purchase! ’cause at my age.. a little bit would be all I could handle

  2. Sue says:

    Golden. I’m dying – my exact thoughts brilliantly articulated..Thanks for the laugh!

  3. K-dawg says:

    I just want to say “THANK YOU” for the insight. I bought 1/2 a dozen 20oz wine glasses at the dollar store. After the day I’ve had, I just wanted to say “THANK YOU.” I can fit a whole lotta wine in one of those dollar store gems. Cheers!

  4. Dee says:

    OMG! No wonder I can’t find Pepsodent and Close-Up anymore. I love those products. I’m heading to the Dollar Store. I wonder if they have Ultra-Brite?

  5. Jenn says:

    This is great! i love the dallar store- when we pull in the parking lot my daughter says “Mom, why are we at the party store?”

  6. I don’t even know where to start – this post is top-to-bottom hilarious! I love that “people wearing slippers” isn’t a question of IF, but a question of how many. Love (and agree 100% with) your lists, and love the photo of the picked-over, probably expired, off-off-brand (New Choice???) feminine products in the Health and Beauty aisle (a highly questionable categorization), baking under the glare of the fluorescent lights. HA! Though this does make me want to go straight to the Dollar Store today – how is that possible?

  7. Laura says:

    I’m not sure where you live because I’ve just stumbled across your site, but our Dollar Stores are not that ghetto. That’s pretty sad. I don’t think I’d like going there either.

  8. Michaela says:

    Last time I went in the dollar store, there was a man who literally shat himself. Basically I was debating some purchase, smelled something rank, and literally watched this old man shuffle past me with liquid poo coming out of his pants leg. I was so grossed out/horrified that I immediately set my goods down and walked out, telling the lady at the counter there was a cleanup in isle (whatever).

    I still haven’t been back since. My brain was scarred from that experience.

    1. Michelle says:

      I’ve actually seen this happen at Sams. The man was in line to make his purchase. And no lie, he was buying Imodium. Swear

      1. Kristen Mae says:

        Shut the front door! HMM, these comments are just as hilarious as your post! You have the best fans!


        1. Hot Mess Mom says:

          I seriously have the BEST readers! They are all messy! 😉

  9. You pretty much exactly described the full-of-crazy that is my local dollar store. It’s like Alice in Wonderland there, every time. Balloons, yes. Feminine products, no. Good rules to follow.

  10. Maureen says:

    My dollar store sells Home Drug Tests….individual ones for Marijuana and Cocaine…..great items to scare the hell out of your teenager!! lol…

  11. Kelley says:

    This was hilarious! You are SO right! I like that the manager was glaring at you. Ha! I also loved the part where you mentioned slippers. Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny!

  12. Anna says:

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny. You were one of my most clicked links last week, and we’re featuring you tomorrow. (And also adding you to our Finding the Funny Pinterest board.)

  13. […] – The Dollar Store Hot Mess […]

  14. Michele says:

    Having difficulty getting pregnant with our first child we spent a small fortune on pregnancy tests. I found it hard to believe the dollar store even carried pregnancy tests and that they would have the remote possibility of accuracy. I ended up buying one out of sheer curiousity figuring my pee is not too dignified even for a dollar store pregnancy test. Lo and behold, positive, went to ob, yep, preggo. Ended up using them for pregnancy two and three.

  15. Kimber says:

    I love our dollar store. Don’t shop there often but I love it.

  16. Christie says:

    While I hate dollar stores and avoid them at all costs, I have many friends who swear by their pregnancy tests. You know, when you’re testing every other day because you’re trying to get pregnant.

    THEN–I found the Wonfro pregnancy tests (and ovulation tests, too) on Amazon. They’re like 16 cents each–and they are how I found out about the little one I’m due with in just a few weeks. The ovulation tests are how I knew when it was “the time” too!

  17. Cherie says:

    Funny thing is I work for doctors and those are the exact pregnancy tests we use. Its how I found out I was pregnant for all 3 of my kids! However, no lube, condoms, food, etc…..have ever been purchased there by me.

  18. erica says:

    I was trying to quietly giggle at the slipper comment…just slipped it in there I didn’t even see it coming. Was doing good til you said you were sending the pic to Seven so he could choose a lube…it was ALL OVER.
    Scared the cat. Think I woke a kid…
    worth it…totally worth it.

    and like Cherie said…I hear the preg tests are fine. A little more false positives but …one thing I would 100% not trust is the condoms.
    I would never ever in a million fucktrillion (2pts for using your word in a sentence!yay me)…trust those.
    May as well just say…yeah I trust you, pull out!

  19. leah p says:

    Believe it or not the $ store hpt are some of the best out there. They are the same ones fertility clinics use. (Infertility survivor)

  20. Jill says:

    Girl! Their preggo and ovulation tests are awesome!! When I was trying to get knocked up and then trying to believe that I WAS preggo I went through dozens of tests. I ended up going to pee-on-a-stick anonymous.

  21. Bridget says:

    Why do I get the feeling that if I bought lube from the Dollar Store it would be like slabbing on 10 year old, sat on my pantry shelf forever, jar of molasses?

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      best. visual. ever. 😉

  22. Mel says:

    I love everything about the dollar store and shop there as often as I can. Things I don’t buy there though are food (unless it’s name brand) it can be a little sketch. Otherwise, everything else is great!

  23. […] Hot Mess Mom- I love her thoughts on the dollar store. […]

  24. R. Berger says:

    I am a 99cent whore…I live in L.A. and we have tons of different dollar stores and I shop them all. Japanese dollar store: Bento Boxes. Random dollar store in fancy suburb run by Russian Mafia? Craft supplies. Chinese run independent dollar store in Monterey Park: Seed trays and starter. I have to keep track on my computer or I forget where I found what. And I agree that the Dollar Tree pregnancy tests are great. But I distinctly remember seeing name brand condoms for sale at 99 cents only stores about a week after a national recall of that name brand for some kind of serious quality control issue and I thought, hmm…coincidence? I think not.

  25. Vanessa says:

    Did you know at pregnancy clinics they only spend 25 cents for the same pregnancy tests you can buy at the dollar store. Walmart charges $8 for the “digital” kind. Ripoff.

    What exactly is wrong with buying them from the dollar store?

    In fact, did a piece on which pieces were most economical at a 99 cent store and pregnancy tests were included on that list.

  26. Lori says:

    We have a man come to our Dollar Tree every week and buys 2 boxes of the lube. TWO! Now why would anyone need 2 a week? I don’t even want to know!

    BTW the drug test and pregnancy test are the best sellers.

  27. Amy says:

    I work in an ER. I will tell the idiots that come to the ER for a pregnancy test where they can get one for a dollar. Scary that they might become parents!

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