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Hot Mess Mom » Family, Food, Stellar Parenting Advice, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent » the creator of the school lunches does not have children. {according to Number Two}

the creator of the school lunches does not have children. {according to Number Two}


I pack my kids healthy well-balanced lunches every day consisting of fruit, veggies, juice, cheese, nuts and a protein.   I’m an incredibly responsible and health conscious parent.  

Unless I’m tired.  Or lazy.  Or forgot to go to store.  Or stayed up too late.   Then they buy lunch.  Which basically means that my kids buy lunch 80% of the time.   (Okay.. 90%).

My boys have the tendency to obsess over stuff.  { I have no idea where they got that trait..  weird}.    Monday is pizza day– everyone loves pizza day.  Tuesday is nacho day.    This is our conversation EVERY Tuesday afternoon and it repeats en total throughout Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning only ending at school drop-off.

Hey Number Two!  How was your day? 


Best thing that happened? 

I got an A on a test, we played kickball at PE and everyone laughed when I did ‘Sexy & I know it’

Awesome.   Worst thing that happened?

Lunch!  The nachos!!  The nachos used to be soo good Mom!  They were soo good last year..  But THIS year…  instead of MEAT, they use BEANS!!  BEANS!!   And it’s gross!  And I hate them!  WHO would make a decision to put BEANS on nachos for KIDS??  Who Mom?? Who??  I know who!!  Someone who doesn’t HAVE kids and maybe has never even MET a kid!!”


Seriously Mom.. it makes me P-I-S-S-D-T

And this goes on EVERY Tuesday… through the evening and into the morning.   This morning Seven brought the kids to school.  When he came home he said 

 “OMG.. he is sooo obsessive.   He ranted about the nachos the entire way to school.  I told him  “Times are tough buddy.. apparently schools can’t afford meat anymore.  You should be happy with the beans… otherwise it would just be dry chips”

I wonder what is for lunch today?  Because I feel sorry for those poor lunch ladies the day they try to serve my son dry chips or tofu.  It will not go over well. - I swear to God, I'm gonna cut a bitch.
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11 Responses to "the creator of the school lunches does not have children. {according to Number Two}"

  1. Bridget says:

    Huh. Same thing happening up here in WA state…??? Is this the implementation of making my kids “eat healthier” shit brained federal gov’t lunch program? Just this year…every frickin’ day at pick up I have to hear my kids bitch about how gross their lunch was and that they are STARVING. Then I drive them to McDonald’s & fill ‘em up on HEALTHY burgers & chicken nuggets.

  2. joe dee says:

    look at the bright side, probably dodging a bullet considering what schools are trying to pass off as meat nowadays. bonus that beans=farts, farts+boys=funny, funny=happy… school lunch makes happy! :)

  3. Julie says:

    LMAO – sounds like Stanky. He begs to buy lunch (egged on by Dramasaur of course), then complains about it from the moment he gets home to the moment he walks out the door the next day.

    Yesterday, he hated buying lunch. It’s the worst. He only likes when I make him lunch, because my jelly smamwidchez is da best evowr. And school don’t got no grapes. How can dey got no GWAPES?! Annna wunch nady wouldn’t let me have two chwocit milks. I was THUSTY! I needed anudder chwocit milk! So I had to go buy a water and the machine ated my money.

  4. Lunardonut says:

    Is the pizza still shaped like a rectangle?

  5. Lisa C says:

    The pizza at our school is triangle shaped, but the ‘cheese topping’ (I use that term very loosely

  6. so funny because I was just thinking how gross my kids lunches are now because they are so health crazy. Everything is whole grain. The school lunch has gone to the other end of the spectrum!

  7. Shana says:

    haha I still remember school lunches and how ‘totally awesome’ it was when I got to high school and you could buy from the little cool but ridiculously priced part instead of the normal lunch lines! I think all kids are obsessive over their lunches. Kids here in SA don’t get lunch at school because school ends at 1:30….so yes I am living vicariously through you right now imagining how my son would handle State side school lunches!!

  8. Kimberly says:

    Thank the Lord that my son does not have a school cafeteria because he is so picky. I have to make his lunches…downside…I have to make his lunches.

  9. Sometimes things make me P-I-S-S-D-T, too. Great post.

  10. Elisabeth says:

    This is hysterical!

    So here’s the deal, all you have to do is move to an area where very few people qualify for reduced lunch. We live in what’s coined as the “wealth belt” of NJ. In September they tried this whole grain crap lunch. They even thought it would be so successful to feed our otherwise spoiled brats 3-bean salad. Yeah I’m guessing there was enough beans in the trash that day to provide the RDA of Protein for a small African Nation that day!

    My 11 year old said the lunch line was less than half what it usually was. It was a win for him because he will eat ANYTHING including oysters and now he had less time to wait for it. However my 7 year old daughter is waaaaaaay more picky. (Like I assume over half the children in the district). She bought lunch exactly 4 times in the month of October, the 4 pizza days!

    So by October the food service company was I’m guessing seriously in the red and realized our spoiled brats were not going to eat the slop they served. October’s menu looked very much like last years! And I have only packed the Princess lunch twice this month!

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