Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary » Ten ways getting a mammogram is like losing your virginity.

Ten ways getting a mammogram is like losing your virginity.

January 28th, 2013 | 6 Comments

 

1. You make small-talk but not eye contact.
2. Your boobs are squeezed, tweaked, and mangled with no apparent goal in mind.
3. You move your left arm above your left shoulder, but try to relax, but turn to the side and stop tensing up and move your head to the side and hold your breath.  You know… just be normal.
4. You get the nervous giggles and feel it’s necessary to whisper when you hear voices on the other side of the door.
5. The other person is wearing latex.
6. You reply whilst holding your breath “Yes, I’m fine” when asked “Are you doing okay?”
7. You keep your socks on.
8. You count both the ceiling tiles and the seconds until it’s over.
9. You don’t have to count long.
10. There’s a chance you’ll find out you have a horrible disease when it’s all done.

 

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6 Responses to "Ten ways getting a mammogram is like losing your virginity."

1. Ann says:

   January 28, 2013 at 8:03 pm

   Sad. But true. I was hoping some of those would be an exaggeration. But you are spot on. Well played my friend.

   Reply
2. Carrie says:

   January 28, 2013 at 8:06 pm

   Had my first one last year… that about sums it up. Great Post!
   Carrie

   Reply
3. Sue Diamond-Phillips says:

   January 28, 2013 at 8:19 pm

   Hysterical. You are amazing:)

   Reply
4. OldDogNewTits says:

   January 28, 2013 at 11:37 pm

   Oh, I love this. Perfect, HMM. Plus your friends all want to hear about it when you’re done. If you tell them at all.

   Okay, fine. Mine blows.. But between paper gowns and back seats of cars, I got nothing. Well said!

   Reply
5. Twoblondiesmommy says:

   February 22, 2013 at 6:20 am

   Great list definitely! One thing I always think about – “PLEASE don’t let me fart”. Farts tend to visit when I am nervous or drinking (which the latter means about every afternoon around 6ish.

   Reply
6. Steph Camberg says:

   February 25, 2013 at 3:42 am

   Hahah very funny!

   Reply