Hot Mess Mom » Entries tagged with "How I know I’m failing as a parent"
Number One will wipe his ass if I put him on TV
Me: Number One.. we got a request from a production studio in L.A. that wants us to be considered for a reality television show. Of course I said NO, but isn’t that funny? Number One: Oh my gosh mom..that would be AWESOME.. why did you say NO? Me: Dude.. seriously? I don’t even show your faces on the blog.. Do you really think I’d put your face and your name on television? Number One: Uh… YEAH… cuz we would be on TV!! and it would be seriously sick. {that’s how 11 years old speak, btw… } Me: Really?? REALLY?? you want our lives on TV.. me yelling at you to wipe your ass and put on deoderant because you smell like a monkey…. THAT’s what you want to see on television? Number One: You wouldn’t … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Number Two’s “new math”
Mommy Mommy!! I’m doing much better on the passages in reading! that is awesome. I am so proud of you. And you should be very proud of yourself. What else is happening? We started a new math!! It’s “language arts”. quizzical look from me What is is called when math is about shapes and stuff? Geometry? Yeah! Geometry!! language arts/ geometry….tomato / tomaaahhto … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
i should be a teacher
So..you all know that Number Two struggles in school. (see ‘Whole or Hole’ http://hotmessmom.com/?p=229 and/or ‘i’m about to lose it right this second” http://hotmessmom.com/?p=612) He is good at memorization and can memorize his spelling words. But out of order or context, he is generally unable to recall the spelling. He also has a slight speach delay and does not pronounce the letter R. So.. most words with R in them, he assumes have a W instead. One of the words this week was SHIRT. There was also CURL, PERFECT, BIRTH, and PURSE. These similar vowel sounds are difficult for him. He continued to get SHIRT wrong. Over and over again. SHURT. SHERT. Finally, after the fucktillionth attempt, I said “ OH MY GOD NUMBER TWO! SHIRT!! IT’S LIKE SHIT BUT WITH AN R!!” He says.. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
a pee thermometer….it’s what’s for Christmas
Me: Seven.. did someone really give you a meat thermometer for Christmas? Number One: What’s a PEE Thermometer? And WHERE is it?????? Me: Oh Dear God…. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
My children are apparently not good at math
In the car today, the radio featured a story about Ellen Degeneres’ house being on the market. For $49 Million. Number Three: I want to buy that house!! Number Two: You don’t have that much money! You’re not even CLOSE!! Number Three: I know.. I’m only at $73. Maybe in a thousand years. Number Two: And why would you spend $49 Million on a house. You could get TWO Jeeps for that!! And probably still get like a thousand dollars back!! Number One: Oh my god… you guys are idiots. Me: Do NOT say idiot!! Number One: Are you listening to this conversation? Me: Sadly, yes. Number One: Well then… I’ll let you make your own decision if they’re idiots or not. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
OMG… for reals…
If you walked into my house right now.. this is what you would see… HOLY SHIT… I feel like I have not been home for 5 minutes this entire week. The good news is that I have apparently continued doing late-night laundry… The bad news is that I have dumped said laundry on the couch. Unfolded. All week. The coffee table has been pushed flush against the couch as I’ve needed floor space for the 1 … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Nutella, Vanilla, and TheraFlu
MY SATURDAY: Number One has been fighting a cold and woke up coughing and hacking and sneezing and blowing. Seven made pancakes for breakfast. With chopped up Milky Ways inside. I saw the recipe online. It looked amazing. It WAS amazing. Seriously.. Sinful. Of course, at Chez HMM, you must make 2 batches~~ one regular and one gluten-free. Number One: This is the best thing I have ever eaten. Number Two: You know what I like better than these pancakes? {pause} … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Stellar Parenting Advice, Uncategorized, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Happy Hour was SHOCKING.
So… you know how we do Friday Family Happy Hour? Well, we do. Almost every Friday. Us and several other families gather at a friend’s house and eat, drink, and are generally merry. It is wonderful! My favorite night of the week! Sooooo… tonight, like all other Fridays was great. I made a huge pot of soup, we had tons of appetizers for the grown-ups and corndogs and sugar for the kiddos! The weather is so nice right now. The adults sit outside by the firepit and the kids are inside with the TV, Wii, music, swords, and all other sorts of mayhem. The drinks are also inside, which means that the kids get checked on about every 11 seconds… The kids ages are: 11, 10, 10, 9, 8, 8, 7, 7, 7, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Featured, Grown-up time, Uncategorized, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Holy lazy day Batman!
I woke up this morning to a rainy, yucky day. And I was thrilled! Perfect excuse to do nothing today but watch movies and take naps. It is now gorgeous outside. Like really really beautiful. And I am pissed! I hate to spend a beautiful day inside but I just cannot switch gears…. My mind was only prepared for a nothing day. I cannot get motivated to put on a bra, much less pants. I just asked the kids if they want to do anything and luckily they said “No”. Yay for me! So, now we are eating popcorn and bit-o-honeys (yes, I’m supposed to be dieting and losing 10 pounds before Thanksgiving. It’s not going that well) and getting ready to watch our third movie of the day. I cannot decide if this makes … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Like mother like sons…
I was driving the boys to school and I had the worst stomach cramps.. ME: Ugh.. Boys, I really should have pooped before we left the house. NUMBER ONE: Ew Mom. ME: {ripped the biggest, loudest, flubberiest, nastiest, smelliest toot ever.. seriously.}… “Oh. I think maybe I just did ” (giggling) BOYS: {scrambling for the windows} OH, AW, GOD…. MOM!!!! That is disgusting!!! OH MY GOD!!… UGH, ,ICK.. NUMBER ONE: Oh my God Mom… You know why WE are disgusting? ‘Cuz YOU are disgusting. touche’ … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Recent Comments