About
I don’t know why my life is a hot mess.
It just is.
- For the purpose of this blog, my husband is referred to as “SEVEN”
- My boys are referred to as “Number One” (age: 12), “Number Two” (age 9) , and “Number Three” (age8)
- Funnily enough, we call them that in real life as well. When you have 3 boys in 3 years, it’s hard to remember names.
- ( And no..that is not the same way Husband became Seven )
I can be reached at hotmessmom.com@gmail.com and I do my best to respond to all emails. Advertising, product reviews and guest speaking are available. Email me for pricing/ availability.
Also~ Please “LIKE” Hot Mess Mom on Facebook for post updates and other ridiculousness….
If you want to know about my family.. this pic pretty much sums it up.
PRESS:
HMM feature on Local 6 Orlando Feb 2013
Interview on how Hot Mess Mom began and how it has turned into a business. (FastForward to minute 11) April 2013
You are a funny funny lady! I swear you are the sister I never had- comedy right up my alley!
Thank you for what you do!
Karrie
Thank you! I’ve been having a great time sharing my ridiculous life
I love your blog…. I am friends with your cousin Rachelle and she has turned us on to your website. Girl you are too funny— just what I need to read every day! Good luck… btw I have a seven, a one, two, three and four!
Thank you! And God Bless You! If I had a Number Four, all you’d be reading is my Obituary…
Love the blog, especially the name!!
I just put together a private group of mama bloggers on FB. It is a place for us to cross promote with a specific target audience- families. Some of us will do craft and others food, etc! There are not any mandatory actions but a little love goes a long way. We hope to share, tweet, vote, stumble and click on our blogs to help our ratings and grow together in the new year! I hope you join us and I look forward to your input and invites as well!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/140871422694223/
You will need to visit the link with your private FB page and request membership in the right hand corner.
Clancy Cash Harrison MS, RD, LDN
http://www.healthybabybeans.com
or
FB: Healthy Lifestyle, Strong Family
As a new mom of a baby girl, who is two weeks old, i have already started to loose some of my extremely patient mind. So i was looking for a blog to make me find hope in humanity and i have found it your hilarious and once i saw the ” as usual im drunk and full of pills ” i knew i had found what i was looking for lol Thank you for saving my sanity its greatly appreciated
Congrats on the new baby!! And thank you for being here! And I LOVE that you would choose a site like this in leu of one that features “my birth story” and is nothing but sunshine and roses! Having babies is great. But it’s hard. And if you don’t see the humor in it EVERY SINGLE DAY… you will lose your mind!
This is post you may want to read… http://hotmessmom.com/?p=696
Hey! I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award. For more info, go to http://thespotts.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/kreativ-blogger-award/.
cool! thanks!! heading there now
Hello – I came across your blog and would love to send you some of the Ava Anderson Non Toxic products – including our new amazing sun screen without any harmful chemicals!
Here’s a little bit about Ava Anderson Non Toxic’s products (no harmful chemicals) and I’d like to share her amazing story.
Founded by Ava in 2009 (at 15) with the help of her parents, to share products that are not harmful for humans and the environment. She now has 1,300 consultants in 48 states and is one of the fastest growing direct sales companies in the country. Recently honored as “Emerging Entrepreneur, 2011” finalist by Entrepreneur Magazine. In addition to us growing a business with an important social message, our consultants are growing strong businesses as well.
Ava’s quick growing success has been monumental and she has been featured in Glamour, Seventeen (“Pretty Amazing Girl” pick by the Editor) People, Aol Stylist, WWD, Italian Vogue, and many more. She has been endorsed (never paid) by Alicia Silverstone and other high profile celebrities interested in anti cancer and environmental issues.
Here is a list of Ava’s current lines:
avaBODY – hand & body lotion – hand sanitizer – lip balm – hand soap – shower gel – body scrub
avaSKIN –cleanser – toner –moisturizer – exfoliator – eye makeup remover pads – eye cream – lip scrub
avaFACE – lip glosses – lipsticks – mascara – foundation – blush – brushes
avaSUN – sunscreen – lip balm with spf – moisturizer with spf
avaHAIR – shampoo – conditioner – style cream – deep conditioning treatment
Will are ecstatic to be adding more categories in the coming months and year!
There is almost nothing that is actually BENEFICIAL to our skin, and our bloodstream, in the cocktail that makes up traditional products in most people’s home. We challenge you to look up just one of the product that you use on a regular basis at http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com – - -as Ava says, “you will be shocked!” Be sure to scroll down and see the disease categories of the ingredient in your products. And to NOTE – if the product has the ingredient “fragrance,” where manufacturers can legally hide hundreds of toxic chemicals and not list them (“trade secret”) – - -all bets are off! Your 5 (on a 0-10 toxicity scale) is much higher – you just won’t know it!
Our goal is to provide the best quality personal care products that contain no harmful chemicals – yes, we’ve done it!
We hope you’re interested in Ava’s lines and we look forward to the opportunity to have you try some of Ava’s AMAZING products.
Please send your address and we’ll send you some goodies soon
Thanks,
Jean
Jean,
Thank you.
You can send samples to
HMM
PO Box 916374
Longwood, Fl 32791
I would love-love to feature you on our site.. You’re hilarious. Shoot me a note at info@yauzzle.com. Very interested.
Thanks.
Love this!!! You really are funny!
Wow…that is a lot of boys. I have one and I feel like I have my hands full. I’m gonna come here whenever I feel overwhelmed:)
come on over!
omg i’m so glad i found your blog. i discovered you through word of mouth. The million milf march is starting to generate some buzz here in our city ( you know how New Orleanians are)
you are a genius and hilarious. i don’t know how you do it with 3 boys and a husband. I go butt freaking nuts with one son and husband and acrazy MIL. lol. keep up the awesome work.
p.s I work for a limo company, If y’all are interested in some rides i may be able to talk to the sales department and get you some discounts!
that would be great! Make sure you LIKE Million Milf March on Facebook to stay in the loop!!
Your blog is a hoot. Honest, irreverent and full of giggles. Keep wondering if you are perhaps a “petite ya-ya?” Loved both of those books! Also, God bless you for keeping your boys faces private.
I love your blog and have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Here is the link: http://thehomeheart.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/ive-been-nominated/
I think I’m gonna like it here!!
Glad you are here!! (and sorry for the delayed reply… life has been crazy)
Love your blog! I stumbled upon it quite by accident one day and now I recommend it to all my friends. Thanks for sharing your experiences and bringing an ounce of levity to my day whenever I need it!
Thank you!! Glad you are here!!!
OMG. You are hysterical. Bravo!
why thank you
Hello!
My name is Keisha Eddie and I am a part of the tapTrak team, a new micro-journal app available on the Apple market. The reason I am contacting you today is because we know our app will prove useful to you and your blog followers.
tapTrak is a free app for iOS devices that allows you to keep track of just about anything. You can set a timer or stopwatch or you can count up or down with just a tap of a finger. We know how hectic motherhood can be and we know tapTrak will make it that much more enjoyable. Here at tapTrak we attempt to make people’s lives that much easier by allowing them to keep track of whatever it is they please.
That being said, our app is the perfect way to keep track of the quirky things your kids and your followers kids do, products you’ve reviewed and plan to review, and even recipes that you have tried or plan to try. We hope that you take a look at the app and share it with your users. It will be the greatest way to achieve all of the goals you and your followers have set in regards to the fine art of motherhood.
I have attached a fact sheet explaining how to use tapTrak, and also a few ideas detailing how you and your blog followers may be able to use it for this particular niche. Also you will find our press release from the Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch. Let us know if this app would be something you would be interested in sharing with your followers. We hope to hear from you soon!
Best Regards,
Keisha Eddie and the tapTrak Team
tapTrak Public Relations 2012
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/taptrak-launches-microjournal-mobile-app-for-ios-devices-2012-06-05
I love your non pottery barn, wine drinking, travel whoring, cvs flipflop wearing smart ass. This blog is inspiring and a total breath of fresh air from the helicopter-mom kooks I’m surrounded by. I went on a month long road trip last June, just me and my 3 youngins….wish I’d blogged about it! Thank you and thanks to your readers for letting me know I’m not the only goofass mom in this wonderful world!
I love love love your blog. I have to small boys myself and you put into words so beautifully the things that I also go through. It is an absolute joy to read your postings! I laugh outloud, nod in agreement, and shake my head in understanding. Question – what do you take your pictures with? Is it instagram? Love the effects your pictures have.
You make me smile. Love how your love your boys.
thank you!! and WELCOME!!!
i use an app on my iPhone called Hipstamatic
Hello Hot Mess Mom,
I laughed out loud reading your blog posts. I have 3 girls, (who can gross your boys out, I am sure) and I think your other Mommas would be interested in reading about our new technology that will give moms a break, but far better video games – a personalized learning channel, if you will.
Our application at Kidobi.com creates personalized playlists for preschool children (age 3-7) based on factors such as age, developmental stage, and their parents’ preferences. We think curated, personalized content streams are going to be the future of media delivery, so we’re applying this to the kids’ space to try to make screen more educational and effective for kids.
Here is a link to a Youtube video that explains what we do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR3vylEKAKw
iTunes app: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/kidobi/id483447456?mt=8&ign-mpt=uo=4
Google app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.Kidobi.aKidobi
Also, you’re welcome to use the promo code BLOGGER12 for free access to Kidobi.com for 12 months, so you can check back again later. For your readers, please feel free to give them this promo code KID2012 (3 month trial) :
http://www.kidobi.com/pages/registerparent/registerparent.aspx
Here is a link to download our Electronic Press Kit:
http://www.kidobi.com/epk/Electronic_Press_Kit.zip
If you have any questions, Eric Sorenson, our Director of Research and Content, would be happy to speak with you.
Office: (+1) 647 477 5620
eric@kidobi.com
http://www.kidobi.com
http://www.facebook.com/kidobi
https://twitter.com/#!/kidobi
Thank you for your time. Keep up the great writing!
Dana
D, As someone that has met both you and Seven, I can honestly say that you are both crazy (you’ve got the lead). I’ve been rading the psots and can not stop laughing at/with you. You’ve done an incredible job with the site. Keep it up and I;ll keep reading. Thanks for the laugh. Mike (Ross’ son in law)
Thank you Mike!!!
Hey HMM! I must say I love your page! Love, Love, Love!!!
-Kat<3
I just found your page today through “Theroommom” (She nominated both of us for an award)and I LOVE IT!!! Absolutely hilarious! I hope you’ll check out my blog too!
Loved your blog and found you through a link on the roommom. I am a grandma, a mom and a teacher and love this blog. Had to re-nominate you.
thank you!
The old saying “if you dont laugh, you’ll cry” I think I’m gonna choose to laugh!
I am so glad I am now a confirmed subscriber to your blog!!! What a relief! You’re totes saving me like four mouse clicks.
Ps, you’re a whore.
Straight from the hip. I like it!
I ran across your site today, thru a post made by someone on my FB. I am hooked! Girl, you tell it how it is. I love it! Thank you for being you and not being afraid to write about what most of us live daily. I wish I had known about the MMM earlier. I would’ve so been there! Enjoy! Thanks for making my work day (slacker, I know), a little brighter!
welcome! and you still have 3 weeks til the MMM!! you can do it!
Hi, just came across your blog today from another blog that I follow!! I can’t wait to read and to keep up with your hilarious stories.
OMG – My friend just forwarded the student drop off etiquette and I cannot stop laughing. You’re a hoot! I just signed up for your newsletters and can’t wait to read the next one. I also call my husband by “husband”. It drives his mother crazy…..Oh Well!!!! Keep writing girl ~ you ROCK!!!!
thank you! and welcome to HMM
Well, you’re kind of hilarious. I will be visiting your site very often. And I actually did not know what a DH was until now.
Holy shit- I just found your blog and have not stopped laughing! (While sitting in a HS English class as a substitute teacher) You are hilarious! All of a sudden my life as a mom and wife works for me-Keep on keepin’ on
So I was searching for a good mommy blog to read and I stumbled upon yours…I ended up reading the whole year + of posts in less than 2 weeks while being a SAHM with a 2 yr old little boy. Needless to say, I’m hooked. Damn! Now I wish I hadn’t read them all so fast because I feel like a crack whore jonesing for another fix until your next post!
You are hilarious, honest, driven, and a great mom! I wish I lived on your street! I cannot wait for the MMM because I’ve seen the pics and that’s enough to make me say “I’m SO there next year!” You have another loyal fan! Don’t ever stop…you have such a gift!
omg. Thank you so much! Cannot wait to meet you in Sept
I love how are you so bluntly honest about motherhood. You replicate how I feel a lot of the time. You never apologize for being who you are and I admire that. I too have 3 kids; ages 12, 10 and 4. ( 2 boys and a girl.) Thanks for keeping me entertained.
I refer to my kids by numbers as well they are all girls (9,6,4 & 2yrs old)
You are awesome and this blog makes my day! Thank you, thank you, thank you
Hi! I’m a 2nd year student doing a Bachelor of Commerce at Queen’s School of Business. I am currently working on a Marketing project, in which I have to make a social media campaign for a company. Purely for research purposes, I was wondering, how much do you typically charge to perform a product review for a company? This would really be a big help! Thanks
Nikki
Hello my name is Bryan Billhimer, owner of Center Stage Guitar Academy. We are a fairly new online guitar lesson service. We are trying to gear it towards home schoolers and parents who have children that are interested in picking up the guitar.
I was wondering if you would review our product on your blog. If you are interested we can give you a two week all access membership so you can dive in and see all the site has to offer. You can visit us at:
http://www.csgacademy.com
Thanks for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.
Bryan Billhimer
Owner
Center Stage Guitar Academy
Hi! I’m a dad blogger at ToddlerApocalypse.com
I am presenting the daddy side of the story in a house full of kids! Also sharing funny pics and stories of anyone who has toddlers destroying, er, running around their house.
Just wanted to share some of my pages I think your readers might be interested in!
Here are a couple classic toddler tales I think you’ll enjoy (and yes, they are 100% true lol…)
Enjoy!
http://toddlerapocalypse.com/look-daddy-im-the-king/
http://toddlerapocalypse.com/elf-on-the-shelf-ideas/
Thanks!
Shane Sams
ToddlerApocalypse.com
Hi
I would like to take a moment of your time to introduce a new mobile app that my friends developed called “GiftGiv.” I came across your hilarious blog and believe that your critical eye would be invaluable to Team GiftGiv since our app specifically targets moms who are busy in their personal and professional lives.
What is GiftGiv?
People in your life are important to you. There is no better way to show them you care than by sending them a thoughtful gift on their special day.
With GiftGiv, sending gifts is easy. Simply connect GiftGiv to your social networks(Facebook and LinkedIn) and our free app automatically looks for a wide range of events and alerts you to significant status updates. Choose from an array of unique and meaningful gifts and we’ll get the gift on its way. It’s that convenient and fast.
Video of the App:
http://youtu.be/iPazr115hHQ
App can be downloaded at:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/giftgiv/id564766989
What we request?
We request a app review on your blog.
Also, your unique combination of experience in reviewing technology products(specifically apps) and passion for the needs of mothers is unparalleled. I would welcome your feedback on how we are presenting GiftGiv. Is our messaging correct for our target segment of busy mothers? How about the gift collection, is it appropriate? How can we make things better for our customers?
Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Rosie Faulkner
Hi hotmess mom,
I’m new to the mom blogging, and yours is my favorite! I read like 15 posts in one day! Your sense of humor is refreshing! I just started a new blog, swampedmommy.com. Come check it out and let me know what you think. I’m doing this all on my own and any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I have an 8 year old daughter, a 6 month old son, and a 9 year old step son (although I dont really mention him out of respect to the bio mom, but i love him just the same) My life is a hot mess too lol.
I’m looking into MMM, it looks awesome! Congratulations on the empire you’ve built…girl, your amazing! Hope to hear from you soon,
Swampedmommy
Found the blog thru a friend’s discovery. I have been having fun going thru the posts and one day (soon) will have read them all. This is more my speed of a mom blog. I like crafting and doing homemade stuff but I also have other aspects to life and don’t love every parenting moment. I work outside the house and many days use that as an excuse of why I don’t have a clean house or messes organized. Work in progress. My 4 year old already understands sarcasm which she learned from me. Your style suits me. Looking forward to see what is to come.
I am so happy to have found your blog! It makes me feel like I’m not alone in this crazy motherhood! I have six kids. 2 girls, 13 and 15, and 4 boys, 11, 9, 8, and 3. I used to blog myself about all of the crazy antics in my life but quit for a reason I can’t even remember. You are an inspiration! Keep it up, girl!!
I’m subscribing to your blog because reading your posts really help to get me through my day! You say it the way I’m usually thinking it and knowing that no matter how hard I’m having it and any given moment, you can lighten the mood and make me feel alot less alone in the battle. Don’t ever underestimate your value to do that for people!!! I’m a mom of 2, 6 and 9, single and proud of what I have been able to give to my kids. But on the other side of that coin, this shit is fucking hard!!! And although they love me unconditionally, it doesn’t stop them from trying to drive me insane on a daily basis! But taking a quick break, reading a post and having a good laugh (or cry) reading your blog is like taking a mental power nap. For that I thank you! Keep up the awesome writing!!!
Here’s a song I wrote about bullying. When I’m not touring as Arlo Guthrie’s drummer I sing for children and families. Please share. Braver To Be Kind / Terry A La Berry
http://youtu.be/kGJi9c9w8aY
Hey your blog is funny! I’ll be sure to like you on Facebook when I get home from work (darn filters)…
I used to write a blog call mywifekidsandcoupons.com but it was way too hard.. so I decided to do some YouTube vlogging instead (frying pan to the pressure cooker actually)
Anyway, I just posted a video entitled “9 Things you should NEVER say to your kids”… which is based off a CNN article of the same name. It’s over-the-top satire, but fun and I think parents will get a kick out of it. If you like it, feel free to post it on your blog or share it with others.
Thanks!
Hello, I love your blog! It makes me smile and laugh! I love the witty banter…
I’m usually just a reader, but I found this great tool on the web that I thought I would share with everyone. It’s the BEST To-Do List for my husband and I that I have found. It helps us track projects and makes it fun with “Honey Rewards Points” for projects completed. I’m able to track small project, major projects, and a shared grocery list that we both can add to … Super SWEET! My husband loves it because he has a fun incentive to get my projects completed. I hope you check it out, and it helps you as much as it’s helped us!! Getting projects done has become fun and not a grueling task. The website is http://listhoney.com
He also has instructional videos which are helpful.
Keep up the good humor!!
Wow! So, I’m not the only one losing my mind! You’ve made me laugh so much in just a few minutes of reading. Thank you for being so honest, and helping us realize it’s ok if we’re not perfect. Trying to be perfect takes way too much time and is overwhelming and exhausting!!! I look forward to more of your hotmess stories.
thank you! Welcome!
I just found your blog and I am a fan! I was hoping I could offer your readers a free gift once their booking was paid in full if they selected me as their agent at Once Upon a Vacation. How much do you charge to advertise on your site? I would like to become a sponsor.
Thank you!
I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I just wanted to thank you for the term “douche canoe.” It is amazing. Your blog is hilarious and my boss likes me to read aloud the funnies you post. We have adopted the term “canoe” and it has become code for the dickhead sales rep that works for our company. It has also morphed its way into my boss’s nickname…. His name is B.C. and we often give him grief about being a “fairy” because he likes froofy girl coffee. Somehow, a couple of times, we have addressed him as “Barry.” Now, he is affectionately known as “Captain Barry Canoe.” I just thought I would share, and give you an entire office’s thanks!
love it!! Tell Captain Canoe that the world needs more bosses like him
I’m so glad I found your blog! I’m your newest Twitter follower: @scggirl
I love #1, #2 & #3! I have 8 year old triplet boys and most often end up calling them Not You, Or you, and Yeah, YOU! I think numbered 1 through 3 is a better system. We’ll try that out. As it is, my 10 year old daughter is the only one we call by the name we spent 9 months debating & researching!
Was just introduced to your blog and am really enjoying it! Glad to know I’m not the only hot mess!
I cannot believe it took me this long to find your blog!! HILARIOUS!! And right on the money- I’m going to do everything I can to make it to this years Million MILF March!! It sounds like a blast! Woot!!
it’ll be worth it!! I promise!
My wife came to the realization last fall, that there needs to be changing tables in the men’s rooms in all restaurants. As a stay at home father, I whole-heartedly agreed with her. There are too many times where I have taken my children into the bathroom to change a diaper, and have been forced to put the changing pad on the floor or counter.
I started an online petition and spread the word to family and friends. We want people to be aware of this situation. I know a good number of restaurants have changing tables in the women’s restrooms, but few in the men. It costs $100-300 to purchase a changing station, and then the labor to install it. Our bottom line is this: If a restaurant is going to offer a high chair or booster seat, they better have the changing tables in the restrooms.
Below is the link to the petition. I would appreciate your support. I want to make a big difference, and this is a topic that means a lot to me.
http://signon.org/sign/baby-changing-station
Thank you very much!
Jacob A. Smithers