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Hot Mess Mom » Antics, Dear Diary, Ramblings » Recap of the past 10 days..

Recap of the past 10 days..

 

The past few weeks have been a jumbled whirlwind of prom dresses, tumblers, witches and wizards, kleenex, concerts, sick kids, and Nyquil.

Let me ‘splain….  No, it’s too much…  Let me sum up:  {name that movie!}

  • Ladie’s 80′s night Prom Edition.  Party Bus to dinner and then 80′s night.  14 “40-ish”  year-olds in our best prom attire complete with anklets, panty hose, and open toed shoes.   Another event to drive home the point that I really should not be allowed at the same parties as the mayor.  Or his people.  Or other people of influence. Ever. 
  • I began yet another round of debilitating insomnia resulting in getting a weeks worth of orders done in 3 nights.   (several of those orders being incorrect.. cuz that’s what happens when you work a 700 hour week on 2 hours of sleep)
  • Number Two began his 8 day stretch of fever.
  • I sold out of tumblers and ordered more.
  • My period made me eat whole loaves of bread and pounds of chocolate resulting in a substantial weight gain.
  • I got a new heavy duty printer.  (makes me very happy)
  • I confirmed my plans to go to Savannah for St. Patrick’s Day.
  • I taught my kids to play Yahtzee.

 

On Feb 20th, after days of no sleep, no husband, a sloughing uterus and a sick kid…. I went on a rant.  It was the busiest day on the HMM FB page in recent history.   Here were the posts… {you should go visit the page because the comments were the best}

2:30 PM

Quick Rant: Dear Friends… and I mean personal, long time FRIENDS, Do not ask me to sponsor your kid or buy some bullshit magazines or cookie dough. That’s not what we do. I don’t pester you with my kids’ shit, you are not supposed to pester me with yours. I could give a rat’s ass about what the needs are at your child’s school. I have my own school. And my own kids. What the fuck? You should know better. If it happens again, I’m going to punch you in the tit.That is all. As you were.

3:30 pm

WHEN will people realize that I am vindictive, have low bullshit tolerance, and will spend time I don’t have going after people who fuck with me?

I got a comment on the blog. It said “your a putrid fucking cunt”. So I googled the email address, found the little boy that wrote it, and send him an email. Enjoy ;)

Hey Kyle. You kiss your mother with that mouth? 
I found you on FB. I found your mom and your aunts also. 
You write ONE MORE THING on Hot Mess Mom and your mother will be getting a call from me letting her know that her son calls strangers “putrid fucking cunts” at 11:00 at night. 

And also, when you call someone a name, it’s YOU’RE.. not YOUR. Jackwad. 
– 
Hot Mess Mom

4:30 PM

Okay… one last rant for the day…. I honestly cannot believe I have to say this. AGAIN.

This page is called HOT MESS MOM. I am Hot Mess Mom. This is MY Page. I’m glad you are all here. (well, most of you) but I did not ask you to come here. I did not force you to like this page, read the blog, or follow me on Twitter. The next person that feels the need to question me on my choice of language is getting fucking banned. I’ve had enough.

I just checked Twitter and someone commented on a status that had the word ASS in it!! ASS!! wanting to know if the language was really necessary…. ASS!! Not FUCK, not CUNT, not TWATWAFFLE, not DOUCHECANOE, not GODDAMNEDSHITBALLSMOTHERFUCKER… ASS!

Yes, the language is fucking necessary. Want to know why? Cuz it’s MY goddamned page and I can call you Fucktard Cuntholio if I want to.

That is all.

So, that was the 20th…  The next week went a little something like this:

  • Had a lady date with MyChris and went to dinner and saw Wicked.  Went to the cast party and asked the understudy for Elphaba (the green witch) if she needed me to “Nancy Kerrigan” the real Elphaba.  (She was so young she didn’t know what that meant)
  • Dumped out my purse for Kelley’s Breakroom.
  • Got sick.
  • Bought a new mattress under the guise of giving it to my hub for our anniversary.  We all know I just wanted a new mattress.
  • Realized that I thought it was going to be our 16th anniversary.  Seven thought is was going to be our 12th.  Did the math… it’s our 14th.  WTF?
  • Got sicker.
  • Hired a car for concert transportation to the PINK concert( as we generally do.. we may be irresponsible drinkers but NEVER drivers)  Muffy got into the car rolling her eyes… “Eeyore is bitching… ‘how much do you think you girls spend on transportation for your drinking????’…. she replies  ”less than we spend on our drinking”.    Lol..
  • PINK concert was phenomenal.
  • Got even sicker.
  • Number Two got better and went back to school after a full week home.  Number Three got sick and stayed home with me.
  • I changed my sheets 3x in 24 hours due to soaking them with fever-induced sweat.
  • Seven finally came home after 8 days.
  •  

That is all.  Sorry for being such a slacker but my ass has been kicked.  I’m not half the man I used to be.

 

And.. finally.. the ever-growing “there’s a chance this is vodka®” line of drinkware ;)

theres a chance this is vodka

Thanks for being patient with me!!  Click that banner below!! I’m pretty close to being back to #1!!

NOTE:  AS IT WAS WRITING THIS, NUMBERS ONE & THREE GOT LOST IN THE WOODS BEHIND OUR HOUSE, COULDN’T FIND THEIR WAY HOME, LOST BOTH PAIRS OF SHOES IN A MUD BOG AND CAME STRAGGLING OUT OF THE WOODS A LITTLE WAYS UP THE STREET WITH TEAR STAINED FACES, MUDDY CLOTHES, AND BARE FEET.   Because THAT is my life.  In a nutshell.  ;)


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Filed under: Antics, Dear Diary, Ramblings

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8 Responses to "Recap of the past 10 days.."

  1. Angela Johnson says:

    The response to “Kyle”…by far my fav…or learning cuntholio and twatwaffle…or Muffy’s conversation about spending more money on drinking…so hard to pick just one….

  2. Michelle says:

    The Princess Bride!! The Princess Bride!!! Love that movie

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      ding ding ding ding!!! ;)

  3. DC says:

    twatwaffle-I nearly pissed myself laughing(PMSL)at that one! Without doubt the BEST 3 AM READING EVER! ;)

  4. Julie says:

    Princess BRIDE!! I adore Princess Bride…quote it all the time.

    I nearly peed my pants last week reading your FB updates. Not a good idea when you are driving around 3 little boys who want to know every single thing you laugh at.

  5. Erin says:

    What exactly IS the “lipstick trick?” Forgive my ignorance…

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      you MUST have seen the Breakfast Club?? putting on lipstick while holding the stick with your cleavage?? ;)

  6. in this house we value the purchase of a notebook says:

    You can sell the fuck out of some sheets.

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