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Mom, I miss you.

  When I began this parenting adventure, I had a full-time job that required some travel and my husband traveled full-time.  We had 3 boys in 3 1/2 years.  We had a part-time nanny and two full-time day care centers.   Life was crazy and was tackled one day at a time. In 2009, I left the work force and became a SAHM to my 8, 6, and 4 year old sons. Our life is amazing.  It’s hectic and messy and sticky and stinky and we love every second of it. If you follow Hot Mess Mom at all, you ,know what an active family we are.  We take about a dozen trips each year.  We have “afternoon adventures” and “mommy/son dates”. We lay on top of each other like cats to watch movies.  We … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family

Dear Teenager, Is that an iPhone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  I’m a mother of boys.  I’m a friend of boys.  I’m married to a boy.  I understand boys.  I  like boys.. even the gross and bad parts..  I’m a “Boy’s Girl”. In addition to my affinity for the opposite sex, I consider myself to be a very socially liberal person.  No prudishness here.. no sirree. My boys ask about body parts, I tell them.  Babies?  I tell them.  Sex?  What do you want to know?  I tell them.   I talk to my kids about EVERYTHING.. the good, the bad, the difficult and the very ugly. They bleed, I don’t faint.  They get injured, I don’t cry.  The leave a big huge shit in the toilet without flushing, I yell and then I flush it. I am UN-RATTLEABLE. Except for when I find porn on … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Summer Guest Blogging Series welcomes THE COOL GIRL!! (she is y’all.. she is definitely cool)

My Blog And Me And Our Love/Hate Affair When The Hot Mess herself asked me to guest blog an eternity ago (it seems like anyway), I was really excited! We have had plenty of guest bloggers over at theCoolGirl.com but have never guest blogged for anyone else. Suddenly I was awash with feelings of holy shit, what if her readers hate my writing! What if they figure out the “cool” girl is a little more geeky than cool? Well, fuck it. Since that is the same emotion that I go through every single time I hit “publish” on a new post, we’re just going to go with it, m’mkay? Besides, HMM promised me a long time ago that she would tell me this one story about working at a nudist colony … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Betty Rants!!

My two verybestfriendsinthewholewideworldamen, The Betties, pushed and pushed me to start writing, until I finally did it, partially as a way to get them to quit bugging me all the time, and partially to see what would happen.  I loved the idea of entertaining people as much as I hated the idea of putting my own thoughts and words out into the world for people to read.  Betty Rants was born out of a desire to tell some funny stories, make people laugh, occasionally make them think, and maybe pull at a heartstring or two along the way.  That said, after I began publishing posts, participating in writing contests, and actually won  the Bill & Judd finish the story contest over at Old Dog New Tits, I started having fun!  I fell in love with … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures!

I love blogging. I mean really, really love it. Well, I like it a lot. I enjoy it most of the time. Meh, it’s okay.*shrug* Don’t get me wrong, I do love writing and interacting with everyone in the blogosphere. But there are so many other responsibilities to be taken into consideration, like cleaning the house and making occasional eye contact with my children, that a lot of times I feel pulled in multiple directions. No matter how much you love something, it can get pretty stressful to juggle what you should do, what you want to do, what you’re in the mood to do, and what your spouse wishes you were in the mood to do more often (wink wink, nudge nudge) – all while writing and keeping Child Protective Services at bay. So, on some … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers, Uncategorized

Please welcome the amazing guys from Point Counter-Point Point Point… my new favorite blog by far!!

Hi. We’re the guys from Point Counter-Point Point Point. Hot Mess Mom has graciously, and probably foolishly, asked us to do a guest blog post for her. For those of you that are unfamiliar with us, we are more than one person. Two in fact. Christian and Pat.  I’m Christian and Pat is Pat. We’re delighted to participate in this here little venture, because Pat and I both like to keep busy during the summer. For example I’m currently doing more work on my Jared from Subway fan-fiction while Pat continues looking for an organic substitute for Nutrasweet. But we weren’t too busy to do a guest post for HMM! Topic: Our Blog — A Love/Hate Relationship. Christian: This is great. There’s a ton of things I hate about you Pat, and this is … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Rocket boots should NEVER be confused with a jet- pack. Just sayin’

  Driving home last night with Numbers One (almost 13) and Three (9).   Their conversation went a little like this: One: If I win the lottery, I gonna buy an Aston Martin.  And then I’m gonna trick it out with crazy rims and a wild paint job. Me:  Please stop talking. Three:  Why? Me:  Because I’ve tried very hard to not raise trashbags and it’s clear to me that I’ve failed miserably. One:  Okay.. So, instead of rims on a $300,000 car..  I’m gonna get a race horse, and a jet pack and the jet pack will be powerful and the horse will be so fast that we will be able to fly all over the world.  Flying around the world on a turbo-jet-pack horse is WAY COOLER than a plane. Three:  Your horse’s tail is … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Just Mildly Medicated!

Me & My Blog… A Love / Hate Relationship When I sat down to write on the topic of the love / hate relationship with Just Mildly Medicated http://justmildlymedicated.blogspot.com/ I had a frenzy of thoughts.   Like most Bloggers I have found my outlet to share though blogging and I love it or I wouldn’t do it. In sharing though I have also opened myself up to judgment. My blog has some funny mom-isms, my life has plenty of material. The PTA put me in charge of the Donkey Show at the Fall Festival, oh and I had to rescue my 7 year old from a near death scooter accident in the neighborhood only to be left standing surrounded by all the neighborhood kids when I realized I had no bra on. My blog actually gets even more personal than … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Kyla from Mommy’s Weird!

I’ve never written about my blog before. Nor, have I ever thought about writing about my blog before. And ever since this opportunity came up to write about how I feel about my blog and the love hate relationship I have with it, its all I can think about. It’s like when its 3 a.m. and I am drunk and I make my husband make me french fries and gravy.  It must happen. And it must be dealt with in a timely matter. I have always been a writer and a story teller. I am the girl that likes to make fun of people, but I never want to be mean, I just want to tell a good story and get a good laugh. I like gossip, because I like to find the humour, I never … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes the ONE and ONLY… Diary of a Madwoman!!!

‘Mernin’ Hot Messes.  It’s Madwoman here.  The Hot Mess is holding a gun to my head, yelling, “Type, type!   Move your fingers, skinny bitch!” Ahhh.  Just kidding.  I’m here because I’ve got madwoman lurve for her.  When she first asked for a guest post I said, “Are you facking kidding me?  I don’t even post on my own blog anymore?” And that’s why this is perfect, right?  Since the topic she suggested was “My love/hate relationship with my blog.”  At first, I decided to just ignore her.  But then I got scared she was going to tackle me and punch me in the tit at the MILF March in September.  I know her type.  She would pretend she was just really drunk.  She would blame it on being butt-ass drunk. So now I’m … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers, Uncategorized