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Hot Mess Mom » Family, Travel » Number Two’s Birthday Extravaganza

Number Two’s Birthday Extravaganza


Number Two is 10.  I’m not sure how this happened.  I’m not one to lament over the “baby days”.. I like my boys just as they are.  But Number One will be a TEENAGER this year and Number Two is double digits…. Number Three is only 15 months behind that…  In another 2 years I won’t even have “boys”… I’ll have “tweens” and a “teen”.  ugh.

I tend to go overboard with birthdays.  When they were younger, I’d have ridiculously elaborate parties.  As they got a bit older, they got a choice between a weekend at a resort or a party.  Numbers One & Three always choose the resort.  Number Two always chooses a party.  His best friend lives across the street , is the same age, and has the same birthday.  He never wants to have a birthday without his buddy.  This year, I booked the resort and the other family (who I love and who also have 3 boys) came with us.   Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

We kicked off his birthday weekend with dinner at my parents.  Number Two requested boiled crabs and jambalaya.. (that’s my boy)..  While that was wonderful, I had to scour the city for crabs.  Then deal with them.  It’s documented.  And it ain’t pretty.

We skipped school on Friday, checked into the resort early and didn’t leave until Sunday afternoon.  4 adults, 6 boys between the ages of 5 & 12, and a very large bar tab.

This was my Facebook status Saturday morning.

 Dropped my room key in the ice machine. Got my hand stuck trying to retrieve it and almost had to 911 the front desk. All totally sober. U cannot make this shit up folks….

Sunday, (his actual birthday) we checked out of the hotel, headed to the theatre to see CATS.  It was his birthday..  I bought front row seats.

This was my Facebook status Sunday.

Life lesson– do not book front row seats to CATS..(or any show with Lycra costumes)… The kids are getting an anatomy lesson rivaled only by a strip club. And so am I. I didn’t know vaginas came in so many different shapes, and I can’t even talk about the wieners.

Follow up to my previous post: my mom call me in th car on way home from play… The call is on the car speaker..
Mom: Can u believe how amazing their voices were??
Me: they were incredible. I only wish I was sitting in the balcony so I could have focused more on the voices and less on the foreskins. And labias–both major and minor.
My kids: {snort, snort, gasp, giggle}

Followed shortly by:

Veins Y’all.  I saw veins.  Weiner. veins.


Here are the pics.. (of the weekend.. not the weiner veins) .. In no particular order.

 IMG_3303 IMG_3305 IMG_3306 IMG_3307 IMG_3308 IMG_3309 IMG_3310 IMG_3317 IMG_3318 IMG_3321 IMG_3323 IMG_3293 IMG_3297 IMG_3298

omg y'all.  This is a roll with hunks of BACON baked inside.  AND served with butter.

omg y’all. This is a roll with hunks of BACON baked inside. AND served with butter.


Number Two at 2 ;)

Number Two at 2 ;)

Number Two and Number Three

Number Two and Number Three

Number Two at 6 months

Number Two at 6 months

My boys..

My boys..

IMG_3259 IMG_3261 IMG_3262 IMG_3263 IMG_3292

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Filed under: Family, Travel



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7 Responses to "Number Two’s Birthday Extravaganza"

  1. Shynook11 says:

    Poor crabs :( The theater should have sprung for the Cuchini for the costumes. Dr. Oz recommends them and I think HMM should too…no one should have to see major and minor through spandex.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      no.. you should not.. And did you really say “poor crabs”? You are a crazy animal person!! Like, crazier than anyone else I know.!! :) Are you vegetarian? Of course you are!!

  2. Carrie says:

    Weiner veins.

    I swear I just pee’d in this office chair. And that ain’t good.

    Weiner veins.

    I am DYING!!


  3. Shynook11 says:

    Yes, I will save any animal, aside from Palmetto. I wish I were Vegetarian, but since I don’t eat 99% of vegetables, I think I would be dead if I were to attempt it. I just live in denial as to where my filet mignon comes from.

  4. Missy Baker says:

    Enjoy the birthday parties, go over the top, make them elaborate and have them last for days…this year Amanda just wanted me to pay for a hotel in New Smyrna for her and her friends. She did allow us to have a “family” party but it’s just not the same.

  5. Samantha says:

    Where is this awesome looking resort?

  6. You know, I thought I was a bad-ass mom until you came along! Ugh!!! Your blog seriously rocks and I am so happy that I found it. I won’t say anything mushy or inspirational since it makes you feel “weird”, but this is FABULOUS!! Keep up the shitty work lol (Didn’t wanna make you cry…)

    Jessica Scott

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