Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Family, Stellar Parenting Advice » Number One finding himself?
Number One finding himself?
Number One is in his last month of Elementary School. 5th Grade graduation is around the corner. The dreaded Middle School years are looming.
For years I have told him
Dude… middle school sucks. It just sucks. It’s not the school… it’s the age. 6th – 8th grade years blow. Hormones, puberty, acne… girls who look like they are 20 and girls who look like they are 8. Boys who are 4’5″ and boys who are 6’2″. Ick. Just get through it. In high school, most of the awkwardness will be behind you and you can be whoever you want. But in middle school, just get through it.
I’ve bought him every humor book with “Middle School– the worst years of my life”, “Middle School Survival Guide” etc in the title. We have read them together and laughed. Maybe you think that’s the wrong message to give to your child. I’m a big believer in “under-promise and over-deliver”. The lower his expectations are of middle school, the more he will enjoy it. (maybe?)
I’ve mentioned before, Number One is my most socially awkward child. He lacks self esteem, has far fewer friends than his brothers, and is totally content to sit in his room with a book, go fishing alone or spend days on end with no one but his father.
So, imagine my surprise when he was voted “Most Likely to be the next American Idol” in his class. WTF? I’m the room mom so had to go conduct a survey for the 5th grade memory book. Best Hair. Most Unique Style. Class Clown. Loudest. Etc. Number One was chosen as “most likely to be the next American Idol”. Maybe because he stood up and did the running man during voting. But still. The fact that he STOOD UP AND DID THE RUNNING MAN in the middle of his classroom is shocking. And amazing. And totally fricking awesome.
Is he finally finding himself? Have my years of telling him
“make yourself happy. Do what YOU want to do. Don’t worry about what you THINK other people think… you are awesome! Just act like yourself. If you want to be silly, be silly! If you want to dance.. DANCE.. Please don’t waste years of your life not dancing. There is no such thing as bad dancing. The worse the dancing, the funnier and more awesome. Please dance! And sing! And laugh. And know that people love authentic people.. so just be yourself.”
finally sunk in?? Or has he finally just found himself? Or begun to find himself?
Whatever.. I could care less. I’m just so happy that my boy is gaining some confidence. Especially before the dreaded middle-school years.
Do you have a middle school story? Advice? Comment? Comment below.. 
Oh, and if you like me and want me to be happy, you should totally click on the VOTE FOR ME banner right below… (if I knew how to make an arrow I would point to it. But I don’t )
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Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Stellar Parenting Advice
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Sounds like your an amazing mother! My daughter who is 8 is very un-sociable. always worried about what people think. I try to instill the very thing in her about being yourself. Sounds like you did a great job!
Authentic….big word. And so glad it’s what you teach and mdel for your children. Masks are for Halloween – fun for a day but must come off. Keep it up mommy.
My #1 says your #1 is a great singer….so DUH! on the American Idol thing
I say the same thing about Middle School and will have a big pow-wow about it just before school starts… watch out for 8th graders, boys are crazy and girls are bitches…
Best mom middle school sucks advice ever. You’re already ahead of the game. My #1 is in 6th grade and sounds a lot like your #1. MS does suck for all the reasons you wrote about and more. But, the cool thing is watching them figure it all out. No matter how tough it’s been for me as a mom, this is the year I’ve let go completely on all levels and let her figure it out herself. Of course I’m there to listen to the drama and wipe her tears, but I don’t direct. I just drink a lot of wine, give awesome hugs, nod my head and smile. As we approach the end of her 6th grade year it’s been physically painful to see my kid hurt by girls who used to be her best friends, but she’s also learned the tools to deal with them and find new ones. She’s hurt other’s feelings, but learned to apologize and own up to her mistakes. She’s struggled with who she wants to be and realized you are who you hang out with. And she’s also figured out that it’s a hell of a lot easier to be YOU and have people accept you for who you are, rather than work your ass off to be someone you’re NOT just to be accepted by the “popular” crowd. And the hormone thing, took awhile but we finally figured that one out too. We have a deal in this house…if you wake up feeling hormonal and know you’re going to be a pain, you are required to announce it to the family so we can all ignore you. You are also not allowed to speak to anyone because even if your words aren’t rude your tone might be. It’s made our mornings so much more pleasant. Good luck!
I totally agree! Middle school sucks big time! I had the hardest time in middle school. My oldest child, also a boy, is in the 8th grade and HATES middle school. I keep reminding him, “Just another month or so… high school is different.” (Usually) LOL! My first year of high school sucked too.. but once I hit 10th grade, I was good. I think every kid goes through the middle school blues but once it’s behind them, they’ve learned so much from the experience.
My oldest is wrapping up his first year of middle school. I tell him the same thing. Middle school, for lack of a better word, sucks. He’s doing ok. He’s having some difficulties because his friends are all interested in girls and swearing…they think they are cool, but they’re middle schoolers, what do they know? My son is not interested in girls or swearing (despite or because of his mother’s incessant swearing?)….he likes LEGO and Star Wars. I told him to keep liking his LEGO and Star Wars…he has a lifetime to like girls and swear like a sailor. Why start in sixth grade?
How do you get to be such an amazing mother? Can you teach me? I’ll need advice in these upcoming years.
I’m a 4th grade teacher and looking for ideas for a class memory book. I would love to hear how you conducted the voting and what categories you had. Any ideas would greatly be appreciated!
well… it wound up not being great. In the class I did it, it was fine.. we made sheets with each category and each student had to silently write a boy and girl in each categoy. I tallied the votes at home alone and sent the results to the teacher.
apparently, in some of the other classes, they did it more publicly.. some students got their feelings hurt, some students won all the categories.. I think overall, it was a failure. Which is a bummer, but also understandable..
Good luck!