Sometimes the ridiculousness that is my life is just too much.
Just got a phone call from a good friend.
Me: Hey! I was just thinking about you! Happy New Year!!
Him: Did you tell me that you wanted a squirrel?
Him: A squirrel.. Do you want a squirrel?
Me: Fuck you. No. Why would I want a squirrel?
Him: I thought we talked about it at Christmas.. you wanted a squirrel for the kids.
Me: You are high.
Him: Maybe it was someone else.
Me: You had a discussion with someone who wanted a squirrel????
Him: I think so.
Me: And you thought it was ME? Have you met me? What the fuck?
Him: Well, I’ve had one in my attic and I just caught it. So it’s in a cage. You could give it to the boys.
Me: Wait…. so you aren’t even offering me a TAME squirrel?? You’re offering me a wild- caught in your attic- squirrel? Jesus. just let it go outside.
I think it’s important to point out that my house backs up to a State Park. In addition to the hawks, bears, deer, turkey, otters, gators and raccoons, I probably only have about a fucktillion squirrels living in my yard. But none of them were caught in an attic and are currently trapped in a cage. I can see why he’d think offering me a squirrel would be enticing. ????? wtf ??
If you liked this post, please consider leaving a comment, share, or subscribe to RSS feed
RELATED POSTS & INTERESTS