It’s 7:40 pm. I have “resurfaced concrete” all day. I’m tired, dirty, and not very pretty. I had a hankering for Conundrum (cuz I haven’t had enough of THAT this week) and ran up to the neighborhood liquor store.
- A) I live in the suburbs in a very nice, quaint, older neighborhood
- B) Our liquor store is the size of your living room.
- C) They know me by name. Which would be embarrassing, but they know everyone by name.
I’m wearing a Million MILF March T-shirt over a jersey dress with flip flops.. It’s not a good look.
I walk in to a dog, 6 other shoppers, a vendor giving away samples of margaritas and vodka, and a pony-tailed man who clearly just came off the river.
I decline a margarita sample, walk straight to the wine cooler to get my wine. The dog follows me. I grab my wine, get a bottle of red for Seven and go to check out. I’m being rung up, look down into my purse to get my wallet, and when I look back up there is DIRTY DIRTY hand in front of my face holding a margarita sample.
Try this MILF..
I look at the river rat, take the sample, say Thanks, and drink it.
I sign the receipt.
Then the river rat tugs my ponytail like I’m in third grade and hand me a shot of vodka.
I looked at him and drank it like a man.
“What are YOU doing tonight pretty lady?”
“Going home to watch a movie with my kids”
“You aren’t old enough to have kids.. Shit, you probably aren’t old enough to drink…” laughing..
I wish everyone a good night and walk to my car.
The dog follows me.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. ?
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Filed under: Dear Diary
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