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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary » My trip to the liquor store

My trip to the liquor store

 

 

It’s 7:40 pm.  I have “resurfaced concrete” all day.  I’m tired, dirty, and not very pretty.  I had a hankering for Conundrum (cuz I haven’t had enough of THAT this week) and ran up to the neighborhood liquor store.

  • A) I live in the suburbs in a very nice, quaint, older neighborhood
  • B) Our liquor store is the size of your living room.
  • C) They know me by name.  Which would be embarrassing, but they know everyone by name.

 

I’m wearing a Million MILF March T-shirt over a jersey dress with flip flops..  It’s not a good look.

I walk in to a dog, 6 other shoppers, a vendor giving away samples of margaritas and vodka, and a pony-tailed man who clearly just came off the river.

I decline a margarita sample, walk straight to the wine cooler to get my wine.  The dog follows me.  I grab my wine, get a bottle of red for Seven and go to check out.   I’m being rung up, look down into my purse to get my wallet, and when I look back up there is DIRTY DIRTY hand in front of my face holding a margarita sample.

Try this MILF..

I look at the river rat, take the sample, say Thanks, and drink it.

I sign the receipt.

Then the river rat tugs my ponytail like I’m in third grade and hand me a shot of vodka.

I looked at him and drank it like a man.

“What are YOU doing tonight pretty lady?”

Going home to watch a movie with my kids” 

“You aren’t old enough to have kids..  Shit, you probably aren’t old enough to drink…”   laughing..

I wish everyone a good night and walk to my car.

The dog follows me.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.  ?


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7 Responses to "My trip to the liquor store"

  1. Julie says:

    LMAO – today must have been the day for random shit and not-so-pretty looks. I ran errands this afternoon after sweating in the newly planted veggie garden, only to find out that half of my ponytailed hair was bumped up and sticking out the side, and the other half looked like I’d taken some hair oil and slicked it back! That was with my lurvely hot pink shredded bra strap sliding down my arm, causing my left boob to move to it’s very own beat! I think the man at Lowes just felt sorry for me…

  2. dana says:

    Only you my dear….

  3. Nadine says:

    LOL too funny. I get the “you aren’t old enough” comments a lot. Last time I went shopping the cashier asked me if I had a club card. When I said no she went on to ask me if my mommy had one I can use…I told her I was the mommy lol!

  4. Misty says:

    Oh hell. I’d give half a tit for some dirty man to give me shots and tell me I’m too young to drink booze. Oh wait, did I say that out loud?

    And apparently that shirt is a real dog catcher, huh? In more ways than one.

  5. Ashlee says:

    HAHAHA love this
    Great blog you got here!

  6. Samantha says:

    Bahaha, I’m sorry, but a river rat, really? How gross! You handled it like a champ, I would have cried!

  7. PJ Greetings says:

    Your blog has me in stitches – my cheeks hurt!

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