Losing my fat ass~ Week One

Ya’ll know I eat and drink like a rock star.   When I was 20, it was fine.  When I was 30, I would gain a few pounds, then lose those pounds.. No problem.

Now I’m {almost} 40.  I’ve done nothing but travel, eat and drink for the last 18 months.   I have gained  15 25 30 pounds.   THIRTY FLIPPING POUNDS!!  I’m pretty tall… I can hide an extra 10 pounds no problem.   There is NO WAY  to hide 30 pounds.  Unless it’s under a tent.

My fat pants don’t fit.  My bras don’t fit.  My knees and elbows have cleavage.  My cleavage has cleavage.   I’m not wearing my wedding rings and I can’t FaceTime with my husband because looking at my 7th chin on the iPad makes me angry sad disgusted.

Here’s the deal.. I want to lose weight.. but I do not want to stop eating or drinking whatever I want , whenever I want.     Clearly that is not working for me.  What a bummer.

So I got back on Weight Watchers.  For a week.  WW has worked for me in the past and I know it would work again now..  But I need a jump start.   I need drastic measures.  I need accountability.   I need someone to weigh my ass every week.   I need to be embarrassed and humiliated by another person seeing my weight…..THIS is what motivates me.

So… today…. after several months of waffling….   I had my first appointment at Medi Weight Loss Clinic.

I want to lose 30 pounds.   I want to lose at least 20 before the Million MILF March in September.

Sooo… from now until then (and maybe after?)…. I will journal my days and I will post weekly… the good, the bad, the ugly and hopefully the decrease in my gunt.

Day 1~  First appt.  Had no idea what a great clinic it was.. It’s like a real doctor’s office..  They did blood work, an EKG, and measured my fat ass on a super high tech scale that gave me my weight, BMI, Fat %, and all sort of other depressing statistics.  I got a b12 shot and answered several questions with the doctor, then was given my plan.     Basically.. in addition to vitamins and supplements… this week is NOTHING BUT MEAT.  MEAT MEAT MEAT.. No veggies, no fruit, no dairy.  Obviously no carbs.  JUST MEAT.  Oh, and eggs.   Wish me luck.

Day 2~ woke up feeling great.  Not hungry yet.  Had a scrambled egg with 1 slice of ham and coffee.  Took all the pills/ supplements.  So far so good, of course- it’s only 9:15.   Have lunch AND dinner out today which is going to be a huge challenge.. just ordering “just meat please… nope, no veggies, nope..no salad.. just meat would be super”…  yikes!

Day 3- yesterday was FINE…  i had chicken soup (no noodles or veggies) for lunch and lobster for dinner.  Not sure if by “shellfish” they mean lobster or not.. but I wasn’t turning down a lobster.  No butter.  No sides.  Just lobster and a Diet Coke.    I am not hungry.  The magic pill must be working because I am not hungry at all.   Forced myself to eat a hard boiled egg this morning.   So far, other than Day 1.. the 600 cal  a day thing has been totally fine.  {which, I find SHOCKING.. truly}.  Okay.. now it’s 1:20 pm and it’s totally weirding me out that I am NOT hungry.  Or grouchy.  WTH?  I mean, I ‘m not complaining.. but I normally eat like a god damned horse.  {that is to say..graze my way through the day}…  I’m digging this so far.    Nighttime..I’m a little hungry but I think mostly I just want a glass of wine.  Hot Tea it is…   Tomorrow I go in for another B12 shot..

Day 4- got a B12 shot.  Felt great all day.   By tonight, I’m a little hungry and totally bored of eating lean meat and I want a glass of wine.   I’m not having one but I sure would like one.  And some cheese….  I don’t need the cracker.. Just some cheese, a few grapes, and a glass of wine.  I had a scrambled egg instead.  ;(

Day 5- I still feel good.  I’m sleeping okay, I’m not hungry, my energy level is fine.  However, I’m so flipping tired of eating meat…  ugh.  I’ve been up for an hour and a half and haven’t been able to choke down any food yet.  I’m over eggs. I’m over meat.   I’m having coffee.   Got on the scale this morning (just out of curiosity..I promised I wouldn’t weigh until my 1 week appt)…  I’ve lost 5 pounds.  In 4 days.  So I guess I’ll muster up the will to choke down some more meat.  Clearly, it’s working!  Finally went and bought some unsweetened almond milk so I could have a whey protein shake for lunch instead of more damned meat.  It was yummy (I added coffee to it) and I feel good!  Only a few more days til I get to have veggies.. I’ve never been more excited for broccoli in my life.   9pm.  tonight I’m hungry.  For almost the first time… I’m really hungry.  Probably because I’m bored.  But I would give my right arm for some popcorn.

Day 6!!  I’m almost thru week 1!!

Day 7.. Heading to the clinic in a few hours..  Can’t wait to get on veggies!!   Maybe a nut or two.   Something…anything..other than meat!  Still not hungry.. just tired of meat.

Week ONE…..   Lost 6.3 pounds!    For week 2 I get to have veggies, a little cheese, some nuts.. and vodka

My waist measurement did not change at all, which is a little discouraging..  Not that it didn’t change.. but that I lost 6 pounds of FAT and it didn’t even make a dent in my gunt.   It really just makes me even more angry at myself for letting it get to this point..   Most people would calm down after a 10-15 pound weight gain..  Not me..  I just kept on traveling, drinking rum runners and eating crab cakes and fried green tomatoes.    So now I am paying the price.  Damn.

Let Week 2 commence…  Week 2, I’m gonna make you my bitch!! 

http://www.mediweightlossclinics.com/locations/all/full-intro/