Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary » Little girls gone wild.
Little girls gone wild.
I do not have daughters. I will not pretend to speak from a place of knowledge. I am a mother of boys. I do not watch reality television, but do watch television in general; therefore have had plenty of exposure to such shows as “Dance Moms”, “Toddlers & Tiaras”, and “Little Miss Perfect”.
Without fail, I think to myself “Who are these people? Obviously the producers of this show must have searched far and wide to find these parents. This cannot be normal. Most parents don’t want their kids to grow up that fast, do they?” And I believe that. I change the channel and go about my day secure in the knowledge that it’s only the unfortunate children on television who are participating in this hyper-sexualization of little girls.
And then I log onto Facebook.
And see photo after photo after photo of my friends children– 6, 7, and 8 year old girls in cheerleading competitions. I like cheerleading. Who doesn’t? But these girls don’t have pompoms or pleated skirts or pigtails. These little girls are dressed more skimpily than the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and wear more make-up. These aren’t dance “costumes”. These are “uniforms”. And these “uniforms” for 8 year olds offer one-third of the coverage of both our local high school and college cheerleading uniforms.
There are half shirts and bootie shorts and body glitter sprayed on every visible surface {and trust me, almost every surface is visible}.
I took dance as a girl. My nieces take dance now. I understand showmanship. One of the most exciting parts of a recital (we didn’t have competitions in the 70’s) was getting to wear your mom’s lipstick and perhaps some glittery eye-shadow. Make-up makes little girls feel magical. I remember.
However, I feel that there is a vast difference between young girls in sequins and lipstick and young girls wearing less clothing and exhibiting sexier moves than an exotic dancer all while adorned in Tammy Faye makeup and the occasional fake tattoo.
Am I old? Out of touch? Missing something? I just don’t get it. I think what confuses me most of all is the parenting involvement and support. Of course generally parental involvement and support are excellent indicators of good parenting. But when I view these pictures on Facebook and the parent comments or picture captions read “My stunning daughter” or “ Team ‘X’ was HOT HOT HOT” or “Look at her shake her thang” or “I wish I had abs like hers” I just cringe. Really? You want to have abs like your 8 year old daughter? Should 8 year olds even have abs? I thought 8 year old had tummies?
Kids grow up so fast-more so now than ever. 12 year olds are having sex, 15 year olds are having babies and high school girls look 25. Growing up is inevitable. It happens quicker than we could ever dream and often when our backs are turned. You wake up one day with a teen in the house and there is no going back. So why rush it? Why encourage little girls to mature so quickly? I just don’t understand.
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As a mom of two girls…it is ridiculous! I am CONSTANTLY fighting to keep my little girls (8 &10) little. They feel pressure from peers, media, etc. to wear these clothes and makeup. The bathing suits make me want to throw up and don’t even get me started on the crap they come up with after a visit with my 13 year old niece. I am constantly telling them that it is okay to just enjoy being a little girl because they never get to do it again.
Well said! And don’t even get me started on Halloween costumes for girls. Would you like the Sexy Witch, the Sexy Angel or the Sexy Kitten?
one time (years ago) my friend’s little girl was in dance classes. The preschoolers had rehearsed for months for the big performance. The routine and music were very cute and they were told they’d be dressed as cute fuzzy teddy bears.
The week of the recital the costumes (paid for ahead of time by the parents) arrived. When my friend got home and took the costume out of the bag she flipped out. My phone rang and all I could make out in her ranting were the words “hoochie bear”. I drove straight over to see her sweet, angelic 4 year old daughter standing in the kitchen in her costume….let’s just say when the teacher said “teddy” she wasn’t kidding. It was baby porn. Basically a fur bikini with ears.
Needless to say my friend ripped the teacher a new one and yanked her daughter out of the class the next day.
I know EXACTLY what you mean about the facebook photos…scary. Thankfully my daughters play sports and have no interest (so far!) in shaking their thangs for anyone. Gross.
and I find the Dance studios ( or at least the one’s that my friends children attend) are not nearly as bad as the cheerleading.. There is make up and glitter and sequens and booty dancing…. but not to such an inappropriate level.. It’s the competition cheerleading that just blows my mind. And these are NOT bad moms! These are people that I like! don’t get it.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I have two very little girls (1 and 3) and I will fight tooth and nail for them to be able to stay little while they are little. They will be judged by their appearances their whole lives, but ad their mother, it’s my job to protect them while I can and teach them to overcome it when I’m no longer able.
It totally freaks me out, too. And it’s almost always the mommies with body issues that are hooch-ing up their girls. Thank goodness I’ve got a tough-as-nails, farting, smelly soccer star for a baby girl!
I agree that they are pushed to grow up way too fast. My girls are very different from each other, one is more of a tomboy and the other a diva. The diva is only 4 so I still have control of her and her clothing/jewelry selections. If she could she would love to have her hair pretty everyday, wear fingernail polish and toenail polish and wear lipgloss. She did not get that from me or from her big sister. However, she is not able. She can wear clear lipgloss and a light color nailpolish, but not the RED or HOT PINK that she wants to wear. Ridiculous. The clothes are awful too. When my girls wear skirts…there are always biker shorts underneath and they wear bermuda shorts…not booty shorts. Very hard to find…btw. Having said all of this this…I second your sentiments. They do not need to any help growing up too fast…it is already happening. For now it is a matter of finding a balance between sports and “feeling like a girl” and “being pretty” without all of that make-up and skimpy clothing. Thank you and goodnight.
I know exactly what your talking about. The first time I saw a cheer competition. I was so shocked and embarrassed to watch those girls!!
Luckily my daughter who is 8 hates the Florida heat and refuses to be outside sweating just to be a cheerleader.
As a mother of two boys I am thankful everyday that I didn’t have a girl! I agree with you 100% why would you let your little girl dress that way or wear those little bitty outfits! WHY???
Bravo Bravo! This erks me to no end. Fake teeth, fake eyelashes, more make up then i wear in a year, mid drift showing on a …5 year old….is not good and it isn’t teaching them anything of self worth. To win or be beautiful aka sexy you must alter everything about about your appearance, shake your ass and win the crowd over. How’s that for teaching them to ‘be themselves’ or ‘beauty is on the inside’. Teaching them anything but…..
Never commented before, but I had to on this one! Love love love this post!
I’ve never commented before either but I just had too this time
I have a 14 year old daughter who is 5’8 and has huge feet. She has always been very tall, at least since she was around 4. Shopping for her is no less than disgusting. I don’t let her wear shorts that are less than 5inches long, I know, I’m a tyrant. Bathing suits are the hardest, I don’t let my daughters wear triangle top bikinis. I just think they call attention to areas that people shouldn’t be drawn to. My 14 year old may be the size of a full grown woman, but she’s still a child. She doesn’t have the maturity to handle the attention. So, I’m the big bad bitch mom, whatever. I’m ok with it. Luckily, my girls are totally uninterested in looking like whores. They have not fought me at all on this. They are probably going to be the kids who change clothes as soon as they get on the school bus but whatevs, at least I tried to keep them young. Man I love my girls. I’m dreading the day I find out they are active sexual people…I know it will happen but I’m trying to put it off for as long as possible.
no, no, no dammit u r not out of touch!!! i was a dancer – to define that statement, i was a dancer w/Ballet Florida – THAT is dancing – not this ghetto-ass, bootie-short-wearing, hip hop non-dance crap that people call dancing today. i have one child – a little girl – and there is NO WAY IN HELL she will E V E R be the following:
a cheerleader
member of a HS dance team
lyrical gymnast (which is ridiculous in and of itself)
i will NOT teach/allow some other dumbass to teach my little girl that her self worth comes from what OTHER people think she’s worth based on her appearance – GAH.
in the words of Bon Qui Qui (and u) – “I will CUT u” get the hell away from my kid.
I can assure you that MOST parents do not find this normal. You don’t really notice the people that aren’t posting tons of pictures of their kids. Those parents are out there and they are the majority.
It’s ok to have morals and it does NOT mean you are a prude.
I met a three year old girl at the park a few weeks ago whose legal name was Princess. I’m not even kidding. I wish that I was. This poor little one doesn’t stand a chance except to be well,,,a princess. Check it out:
http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/03/03/princess-on-the-playground/
Putting your children through that is totally WRONG. When I watch the train-wrecks like “Toddlers & Tiaras”, you can clearly see that the parents of these children are NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD.
Ugh, i totally agree. I’m 7 months pregnant with twin girls and i’ve already noticed the plethora of two piece bathing suits for INFANTS. it’s gross. I’m not looking forward to the day when i have the makeup and belly shirt and too-short-shorts arguments with my daughters. A friend of mine posts videos on her facebook wall of child dance competitions and i swear it’s like watching a baby pole dance. it grosses me out but she is of the opinion that “your body is beautiful” and it’s okay to “shake your booty”. it’s a very difficult point to debate because i agree, i don’t want to teach my daughters to be ashamed of their bodies, but i DO want them to respect themselves as more than their appearance and be mindful that if they don’t respect themselves, nobody else will.
I feel like we as a society do it to boys also though. We hear about boobies and bikinies all day and joke with boys about girlfriends and kissing to joke and play but in all reality we are sexualizing them to talk and think about that stuff at such an early age! I have 2 girls and a boy and it is a constant battle to make sure things are age appropriate. Even movies like Shrek which we love has sexual innuendos that my 11feelings yr old notices, is it really nessesary to include those jokes?
I have never been happier to have a daughter who loves SOFTBALL!!!! Bring on the dirt and long pants and shirts that cover her whole stomach!!!! My girl loves makeup, nail polish, shorty-shorts and half-shirts as much as the next seven year old, but she does not participate in any sanctioned events that require that attire, and that helps my authority as her mother. I can put my foot down, and she listens to me. We have rules about bathing suits and clothes and makeup in our house. And she has to follow those rules. While I buy the clothes, she follows my rules. That’s just the way it goes. And even if a grandma or someone buys her something that I don’t agree with, I still get to make the ruling on that particular piece of clothing. If I don’t agree with it, she only wears it on the weekends. I CAN and WILL control how she looks. She will not grow up too fast. And if she hates me for a while, then so be it. When she is older, and has children of her own, she will understand why I was such a hard-ass. I will not allow her to be victimized by anyone. She is not a piece of meat. She is my dauther and whether she is 7 or 70, she will be respected!
Are there some competitive cheer teams out there for young girls that are not “hoochie”? The couple glimpses I’ve seen have been older girls in normal cheer attire (no midriff showing etc) doing very athletic routines; tumbling and stunts, etc.
it seems like once they are cheering for a SCHOOL..it’s more conservative.. it’s the competitive cheer programs that I’ve seen that are so out of control. it could be different where you are?