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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Featured, Ramblings, Uncategorized » I’m no Dooce.

I’m no Dooce.


Soooo,  Hot Mess Mom has had such wonderful feedback in it’s very short 3 week life.  I am overwhelmed by the number of site visits, the comments and the positive feedback.  I have become an official member of the blogesphere.  Or Not.

Prior to starting HMM, I had never read a blog.  Ever.  Okay, that’s not totally true…  of course I had read about Copernicus the Monkey and Beyonce the Chicken, as they had gone viral on Facebook and made me pee my pants.   But other than those 2 posts, I had not entered bloggerdom.

I’ve gotten a lot of feedback advising me to read other blogs, whore myself out on Twitter, comment on other bloggers,  share, like, share, like, and post.   So this weekend that is exactly what I did.   I checked out dozens of Mommy Blogs, “followed” mommy’s on twitter, and read post after post after post.

I didn’t like it.  It made me second guess what I was posting.  Other people write differently, are more serious, curse more, curse less, are funnier, or cooler.  Am I doing this wrong?   Who the fuck is Dooce?    And then I got so pissed at myself, because again… I am supposed to be blogging for ME!   Not to get more fans, not to please every Tom, Dick, and Harriett, and certainly not to become the next Dooce.  ( I googled her.. and apparently she is WAY successful).


So this is what I learned/ observed/ loved/ hated during my short foray into bloggerdom:

  • I don’t care.  Period.  I just don’t.   I don’t want to read other blogs.  I’m just not that interested in other peoples shit.  And I’m not going to comment on your child’s temper tantrum.  (But yes… I totally want you to comment on ALL of my stuff.  Really.  I do.  Apparently I’m needier than I thought)
  • The blogs I enjoyed the most and related to, I don’t want to read.  I don’t want to forget my voice and learn theirs without realizing it.  This does not mean I’ll never visit, but I feel like I need to really hit my groove first.
  • The blogs listed as “Humor” I don’t find funny, but I giggle at the blogs listed as “Controversial”
  • A lot of mommy bloggers cover some really serious stuff.
  • A lot of mommy bloggers cover nothing.
  • A lot of mommy bloggers cover sex.
  • Some take themselves WAY too seriously.
  • Women are VERY proud of themselves for breast feeding.


There are whole sites devoted to one facet of a person’s life!  Special-needs children, childbirth methods, autism, allergies, infants, toddlers, tween, teens, babies who want to be models, husbands, sex, working moms, etc…  All very very cool sites with some really good information.

I have some  more opinions:

  •  Natural childbirth? ~~~~~~~ Sure!  If the year is 1700 and you have no other choice.   Turning down free drugs while pushing a baby out of your vagina does not make you better than me.  Only Dumber.
  • Home Schooling? ~~~  Fuck you.  No.
  • Breast Feeding? ~~~~ absolutely!   If you want to.   If you don’t want to , that’s fine too!
  • Breast Feeding until your child is 4 years old?  ~~~~~ Fuck you.  No.
  • An entire blog devoted to scrapbooking?  ~~ REALLY??
  • If your kids are fucked up, just admit that they are fucked up.  They are not “strong-willed”, “unique”, or  “independant”.  They are fucked up.  Just acknowledge it.  It’s probably not your fault.  Or maybe it totally is…  Either way- just say it aloud.  You’ll feel better.
  • Kids can be fucked up and totally fucking awesome at the same time.  I wish more mommy’s would realize and appreciate that.
  • Admitting that you are shitty mother~~~ awesome.
  • Being a martry~~~ Not awesome.
  • Admitting that you are an amazing mother~~~Totally awesome!  Not enough of us do that.
  • Admitting that you are an amazing mother and somehow your kids are still fucked up?~~  my soul mate(s).
  • If you have nothing to say, you really shouldn’t post.
  • Actually, I take that back– it’s YOUR blog.. If you want to post nonsense… go right ahead.
  • The “you must post every day” advice that I recieved will be ignored from this point forward.  I will post when I have something to say.  No just to hear myself type.    Unless I want to.  In which case I will.
  • If you have alcohol in your name (ie:, I feel bonded to you.
  • If you have alcohol in your name and the 3 posts I read are about your dog, your lost cat, or your ingrown toenail, I am seriously disappointed.  Seriously.
  • Bloggers who include “tips” on their blogs for other bloggers~~~  Awesome.. Really… So nice!  And really helpful.
  • Twitter~~~   I hate it.   I don’t understand it.  I don’t know how to use it.  I don’t want hourly updates from Parenting Magazine .  Please tell me WHY I have to have followers on Twitter?  I just don’t understand.    And also, I have to keep blocking Porn Stars from following me.  Why? WHY???  (These questions are not rhetorical.. I would really love someone to explain this to me.  All of it)


So,  what this all boils down to is that I will probably never make “Babble’s Top 50 Mommy Bloggers” or any other ranking for that matter.  I just cannot feign the interest to do the networking required.   And if becoming a “Top Mommy Blogger” is my goal~~ will I censor myself differently than if I’m just writing for me?  I think so.  Unconsciously, of course, but I really think it would.

Which means that if are reading this.. you are stuck with me.  As I am.  Today.  I will post as often as I have something to say.  ( which is generally a lot).  I love your comments and look forward to them with every post.

If I post too much~ tough.

If I post too little~ oh well.

I must remind myself daily that this is for me!!  And hopefully you can get some laughs/ insight/ anger(?) from it too.

Thank you so much for going on this journey with me!  It’s going to be a fun ride!

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Filed under: Dear Diary, Featured, Ramblings, Uncategorized · Tags: ,



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24 Responses to "I’m no Dooce."

  1. siamchinchilla says:

    You being you is what makes this blog fun. Don’t be anyone but who you are, hot mess and all.

  2. Heather says:

    Thank you Deanne for making me laugh out loud….You are so talented, so damn funny and so informative….if it wasn’t for you I would be drinking dirty water tonight….so I thank you in advance for possibly saving me a trip to the ER….I look forward to more hysterical blogging from you.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      I’ll drink dirty water for you .. We call those martini’s in my house :)

  3. Colby says:

    You’re right, this is for you. Do it how/when you like it, and if other people don’t like that, then fuck them, let them write their own blog. Personally, I like it how it is.

  4. NicolleDPhotography says:

    My cheeks hurt. My eyes sting. My dog thinks I am crazy for laughing at my computer hysterically! YOU, are soooo YOU…and after all these years I am stillll trying to disect you. Don’t think I will ever get there…you are complex and creative and whacked out and nuts and simply friggin’ hysterical. Bullyish, but, hysterical! <3 it!

  5. Robyn says:

    OK first of all Dooce is COMPLETELY overrated. When I heard about her a couple of years ago I tried to read her blog and honestly, I don’t get it. I mean, I made several attempts to catch whatever blog-stalking-fever bazillions of readers supposedly possessed for her. Maybe I’m just not cool enough to understand the fascination.
    Second of all, you know I can’t read this post and not think it is some indirect message to me. (You know why…and it’s NOT because I am some natural childbirth, homeschooling, breastfeeding, scrapbooking mommy blogger.) Sheesh.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      you are wacky. I have no idea what you are talking about. Really…

  6. Kelly says:

    You are friggen awesome!! I haven’t laughed this hard in I don’t remember when. Don’t you change a thing! I keep checking to see what new adventure/mishap happens next!! I LOVE IT!!

  7. K says:

    Ok, this post replaces the dollar store post as my favorite, almost peed my pants. Maybe I did. However, point is this… Love u JUST the way u are!!! I think u should hire yourself out for parties…. Muah!!!!

  8. Karrie says:

    Beautifully said!! I am going to have to get a drink with you if you make it up? here to visit Carol!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      thanks! Hoping to make it up there over the summer. Definatley not before. And I’ve been craving the Cucumber Cocktail from Tyler’s. So yes! Give my girl a hug for me :)

  9. Christine says:

    you are sooooo good at this – seriously!

  10. Brenda says:

    Oh my sweet, sweet D. How I love you so. Why? For so many reasons, but mostly because you just went through the same exact crap I went through with the researching/doubting/questioning/pining re: blogging. I had a blog when Sam was a baby and sometimes fancied myself good at it. What came along with that was a lot of blog baggage from people in my life who read it and didn’t like what I had to say/how I said it/whom I said it to/and a variety of other bullshit. A few thought I could possibly make a living off of blogging, but when I learned all that you just learned, I became scared of my laptop and stopped blogging for a long time after. There is just too much calculated nonsense involved. I recently started a blog again because for whatever reason I have a desire to cleanse myself via the written word, but I have very few followers who are my nearest and dearest that live near and far…so it is like a virtual conversation with them whenever I feel the need to purge my words. All of this to say, I hear you on everything you wrote. There is a blog out there for everyone, and your’s is the blog for me. I get you. I love you. You inspire me. You tickle me. And you do it without really trying and without search engine optimization and twitter twats, which in this day seems so much more real to me than some manufactured Dooce crap (I don’t know if its crap…I never heard of her/it.) Just stop overthinking it and write when you have a funny thought or are scared or happy or pooping. Whatever will be, will be.

  11. Sabrina says:

    I just found your blog yesterday, I finally cracked yesterday and almost completely lost it. I have a 2 and 3 yr old and watch a 7month old who belongs to my best friend. I was trying to find someone or something that I could relate to in anyway what so ever. I am so happy I found you and look forward to reading more in between plunging an entire roll of tp setting up the car track and looking for the binky. I won’t read anyone else’s blog if you don’t ;)

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      yay! Thanks for the support! Love Love Love the comments, so please keep them coming! Also.. if you on FB… lots of stuff gets put on the FB page that never makes it to the blog! Happy Happy New Year!

  12. Erica says:

    Just came across this blog. You make me laugh outloud every single day. Please don’t change. I can totally relate to a lot of what you blog about. You are the best! Thank you for making me see that I’m not a completely f’d up mom for thinking my kids are insane most of the time.

  13. Tiffany says:

    I think ur awesome I love everything u post… n I dont umderstand twitter either n im 23 so ur not the only one…keep up the awesome work…. n yes more women should say…I am an amazing mother…

  14. Margo says:

    Oh my!! Get out of my head!
    Seriously, I am going through this EXACT thing now. Trying to get your writing noticed and shared and liked and retweeted and favourited…. really does feel like your trying to whore yourself out to the masses, I agree. I’ve been getting so lost in mommy blogs that I also found myself losing my own voice, thinking, maybe I should be more sarcastic or start cursing excessively….
    Thanks for reminding me why I started blogging, myself.
    (p.s. I only just halfway figured out twitter. Now I know how to tweet(place a link to my blog) and favourite (i’m pretty sure its equivalent to Facebook’s “like”, hopefully since that is how I use it)
    Thanks again! Great Post :D

  15. stephanie says:

    Love it! And I love that you don’t care. That makes your blog so much more fun to read!

  16. Karen says:

    How refreshing to read your insights! Highly entertaining and gave me smiles. Now isn’t that the purpose of great writing? Thanks for sharing!

    Kk. :)

  17. Kelly W says:

    Omg hahahahaha! LOVE it! Honest!? Yes! I love that shit!

  18. Jacob says:

    I have great fun following your updates! I think you are wonderful and should keep on the way you like!

  19. josie says:

    This is great! More people to think and do for themselves. I’m a young and fairly new mom & I’ve seen too many people try to say how things should our not it it’s your life and your feelings or thought. express a way

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