If only I had the time to prank more…

Alright y’all..  You know I LOVE a good prank…  Love Love Love..

You can read about them under the ANTICS category to the right.

Last week, I came to the realization that it was time for me to retire Fatty Patty.    It made me a little sad.  An old college friend {and I use that term loosely;} who is just as into pranks as I am, commented to say :

dont retire, re-purpose with style. leave it in someones car (inflated or deflated) that is on the way to church, pick the boss up from the airport, dinner with in-laws… something blog-worthy. or blow it up and leave it floating in a pool full of seniors doing their aqua aerobics class. take it into a movie theater and stealfully put it in the seat behind some unsuspecting person… when the lights come on, start pointing and just say duuuuuuude shaking your head. or blow her up, drive around a parking lot till you find a parked convertible withe the top down, then buckle her in the passenger seat and wait for the owner to return…. sky’s the limit for fatty patty’s swan song… just sayin.

Ask and you shall receive. Fatty Patty got her swan song.  I packed her up fully inflated with a plethora of goodies and shipped them to him.  Well, I attempted to ship it to him.  But the box was too big so the shipping was $80 to 2 hours away.   So I had to repack her in a smaller box but I didn’t want to deflate her.   I had to wrestle and finagle and moderately deflate… but eventually, I fit that big balloon of love and a bag of goodies into a reasonably sized box.

Here is the photo progression:

What other “goodie bag/ care package” could travel with Fatty Patty?

giggle giggle snort..

butt paste, colon cleanser, Hot Thrills Cologne, a fly swatter and a mouse trap

lube and feminine deoderant spray

colon cleanser, drug test and antibiotic ointment.

Bonus Gift.. taped to outside of box.

The large label on outside of box complete with the recipient’s name.

poor poor Patty

lost her head..

GET IN THE BOX!

holy trash packing

packing a HEFTY half-inflated blow up doll into an average sized box does not result in flat surfaces.

While I though the exterior packaging was funny, I didn’t realize that he shared a common lobby with other residents.

hooooooly sheeeeot! guuurl you are too damn funny! i just got home. fortunately for me i live in a condo where all the packages are places in the lobby where every retiree has to look at them to see if the package is for them. I am soooo laughing my ass off still, just wish i could have seen their expressions. i mean, i dont have the best rep in here anyweay, and now all the little gossips REALLY have something to talk about! HAHAHAHA

Seriously, my face hurts from laughing right now, you sooo rock!!! my phone is blowing up right now from people laughing at the pics i sent. who to tag next, who to tag.. hummmm. any suggestions rules as to how to keep her going, this could be really fun and funny!I

I’m waiting for his pics to add to this post…  I will update soon…  Enjoy!

Okay.. his replies.. NOTE: her name is PATTY!! FATTY PATTY.. it’s not hard to remember……. it rhymes!

so, i got Betty unpacked and tried to make her as comfortable as possible in my humble love abode.  quick massage and gentle blowing in her valve and she was ready for fun!!!thats when i made my move. she looked like the intellectual type so i tried to get her turned on by watching the state of the union… no bueno, she said it sounds like charlie browns teacher wa wa wa.  then i tried flowers and chocolates…again no bueno, allergies and watching her figure.  getting desperate i played my trump card…off the the jacuzzi we went, jagermeister, vodka bottle and wine in hand.  gotta tell ya, things got a little crazy, she got a little loud, and the security guard showed up.  doh! fortunately, he said he dates her twin…ewww, but Betty and I just giggled and he left us to our getting to know each other better.  gotta say, she is a happy camper now.thanks for setting us up HMM, she’s dreamy! xoxo

OMG.. DUDE.. HER NAME IS PATTY!!.. Show some fucking respect!!  {but I love that you gave her a smoke.. We made JHO do the cinnamon challenge once..  she was the only winner  

wow, i kept calling her betty and she never said a word… she is beyond perfect!

omg.. I’m reliving college all over again… Except I was skinny with no boobs and didn’t show up in condos in a box.  But other than that.. my name (nickname) rhymed and I was often deflated by not choice of my own. ;(

Voting for Top 25 Funny Moms 2013 ends tomorrow at 4pm EST!  Please vote!  You’ll find me at #8 and have to click the “vote” button under HMM.