Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome » I wish I was TRULY anonymous
I wish I was TRULY anonymous
You know I don’t show faces on HMM. I don’t use names. I’m anonymous. Except I’m not. My friends know who I am. My neighbors know who I am. The parents at the school, my family, my in laws… they all know who I am. And THAT, my friends.. pretty much sucks.
When I began HMM, I had no idea what it was going to be. No clue what I’d write about. Not in my wildest dreams did I expect it to be read internationally and have the best and most loyal readership in all of blogdom. When I started, I asked my personal FB friends to read, comment and share the blog. I don’t know if I could have done it any differently. I don’t know how else the word would have gotten out. My friends did an amazing job of supporting me and sharing HMM with their friends. Which is awesome. But now I can’t talk shit about them. {Not that I would talk shit about my friends.. I mean, I totally would but only to their faces.. never behind their backs} I can’t talk shit about ANYONE who knows who I am.
- Lets say, for example, that someone did things to make me crazy, disgusted and irate all at the same time… I can’t write it. They read the damn blog.
- Or if, someone asked to borrow my car while theirs was in the shop and then kept it for 4 days until I had to ask for it back… Can’t write about that.
- Teacher at the school who I think is a bully and a huge douche-canoe? Gotta keep that shit to myself.
- Somebody dated a priest? What the WHAT??
- A mom at the school who always smells like mildew? No comment.
- Extended family drama? Hell no.
- In-laws? {this would be GOLD.. GOLD…. but alas.. no can do}
If I were truly anonymous and could write all the shit that I can’t write about… this may be the most read blog to ever exist. And I’m not saying that to be an asshole.. I’m saying it because there is soooo much material. So much that I can’t even begin to touch on. I’m shameless.. I give you my stories. I share my dirt. I would never tell someone else’s stories.. but damn if I wouldn’t love to be able to tell ALL of my stories and include others peoples ridiculousness in them. Cuz seriously, that would be some good shit. And I can’t even imagine if I was able to write the stories from my teens and twenties….you have no idea. Shitballs.
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Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome
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Stories from your twenties! Stories from your twenties! Stories from your twenties!
(That was me chanting for what I want to hear about…)
So true! I went out with these crazies for dinner recently and would loooove to dish about them, but can’t. What if I write about your in-laws and you write about my insane neighbors? Not quite the same, huh? Oh well.
yes!! genius! Like “Strangers on a Train” but for blogging!
Time to start another blog…heheh
No worries! Your “shit” is good without all that other stuff. We just like to know that we aren’t the only people out there that think the monsterous things that you do! No need to drag any other people through your mud.
Thants why you should write a book and chnge the names…(like The Help) It would be awesome!!!
Before blogging, I did one-woman shows. My Mom still hasn’t forgiven me for the Hanging the Laundry bit I did about her. There is SO much material about my in-laws that I cannot use. It is so specific to our family that everyone would know – stories that I can only tell to people who don’t actually know the in-laws or allude to in comments sections on other people’s blogs.
For instance: Opening wedding song at a family wedding – Monty Python’s “Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.” And I ain’t kidding.
oh HELL…..
I was totally going to write this exact post today…if only I could just get this shit on “paper” I would be the most popular blog around…cause this stuff is unbelievable…but no can do, because the peps will find me!!! Lol
M
I totally agree with you and feel like I’m in the same shoes sometimes! Just the other day I wanted to post something about how I was glad my mom and dad weren’t married anymore because they are on two totally different political sides. But they both follow the blog :\ lol
Douche-canoe! Hilarious!
I think it would be semi hilarious to write passive aggressive blog posts about people you know and then act completely normal around them.
i’m a lot of things.. but passive aggressive is not one of them.. Actively aggressive I could do..
I have honestly thought about starting another one and not even telling my husband it’s mine just so I can write what I really want!!
Ok…for reals…I am seriously thinking of ‘quitting’ for this very reason. I would love to come back anonymous and have a do over. But then I can’t give too much away about myself either, or people would figure out it was me. What to do…what to do….
I SO know what you mean. I have to wait until everyone I know is dead then it is GAME ON.
Maybe we could come up with a secret language. Martha stands for MIL, sweet thing means crazy bitch, etc. I think it could work…
Agreed! We can do this!!
Hilarious! I agree with you. If we could write not only about OUR fails, but the stories that include friends and family, we’d never run out of material…just friends and family.
Thanks for the great laugh!
I know, right??????? The stories I want to tell about my in laws…. But yeah, they read the blog. Sigh.