I went to Brad & Angie’s wedding. And didn’t get blown up.

AAAaaaaannnndddd…… here we go again.

Last night’s dream:

I was invited to Brad and Angelina’s wedding.  I think it was in New Orleans, but I was there with  my Florida friends, so I’m not completely sure.   There were probably about 1000 people, and it was open seating.   Everytime I chose a seat,  my table would fill with people that I did not want to hang out with, so I would move.  Seven told me I was rude and embarrassing.   I told Seven that I refused to spend the night with boring people.  And then we found Muffy.  She had our seats saved.  

I was drinking a Crown & 7.  Butlers went around with tags and you had to write down what you would be drinking for the night.    

Well, I’m drinking whiskey now, but I’ll probably drink vodka later.  What should I write on my tag?

You have to decide.  Pick a drink and stick with it.  

Okay…when I’m going to have to think about it.. Can you come back in a bit?   

{Look of disgust from butler}

Then Muffy says:

Listen, whatever you do, don’t tell anyone that we are on the PTA.  Brad and Angie hate the PTA.    And also,  I picked this table because it’s close to the exit.  You KNOW this wedding is going to get bombed.  

WHAT?  What do you mean it’s going to be bombed?

It’s obviously going to be bombed.  All of these people in this unsecure location..  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are hated by terrorists.  We are totally getting bombed– it’s been all over the news.

Then why are we here????

Are you serious??  Because it’s the party of the year, that’s why!! 

Well, I wish you would have told me this.   I wouldn’t have worn these shoes.. I can’t run in these shoes!!

It’ll be fine..  They can’t kill EVERYONE..  I mean, I’m sure a lot of people will be burned, though…

This is fucked up.   We are going to get bombed and I have to choose between vodka and whiskey?   Bullshit.   

Then I was really upset and went to find Seven

Honey..  Muffy says we are going to get bombed.   I want to go home to the kids. 

Muffy is a crazy person.  We are not going to get bombed. 

She said it was on the news.

Well, yeah.. people are going to TRY to bomb us, but it won’t happen.

WHY didn’t anyone tell me that this party was going to get bombed???  I would NOT have worn these shoes!!!  

I told you not to wear those shoes when you were getting dressed.

Yeah, but you ALWAYS tell me not to wear fun shoes..  I thought you were just worried about me drinking and dancing. 

You never know when you will be bombed and you are very irresponsible with your shoe selection. 

That’s it.  I am totally drinking whiskey all night.  Fuck all you people. 

 So I went to find my butler and tell him that I had made a decision and would stick with Crown & 7 all night.    He was relieved, completed my drink tag for me and then said..  “if you drink all this whiskey, will you be able to run in those shoes?”

I stormed away, found my table and waiting for Brad & Angie to arrive.   Muffy kept kicking me under the table muttering  “NO PTA talk, remember!!”   The butler brought me three Crown&7s, and then told me “that will be $27.”

And I grabbed Seven’s hand, stood up and said

that is IT!  Get your shit.  We are leaving and going home to the kids RIGHT NOW.  

Why?  What in the hell is going on? 

 I will commit to ONE type of liquor,  I will brave terrorists, and I will risk the chance of being killed or burned and possible never seeing my children again.   But I will NOT stay at a wedding with a cash bar.  

And then I took off my shoes.    

(and that’s all I remember.   don’t think I ever got to see Brad and Angie.. ….   )