I have herpes. But only when I sleep.

I am the most non-jealous wife in the universe.   Seven travels for a living.  He is a good looking man.  He runs in some pretty high-profile circles.  Half of the time he’s out of the country.  If he chose to get laid, he could.   I decided a long time ago that I would not/ could not spend my life wondering about what someone else was doing..     I do not worry.   Seven is a good man and he is faithful.   He is also a grown-ass man who is capable of making and living with his own decisions.  I trust him completely.      

I only tell you this to explain that once again… my subconscious has completely overruled my conscious mind.   I don’t understand where my dreams come from..  (and I don’t understand how I even had a dream last night up with a puker all night!).

Last night’s dream:

I’m in the gyno office with my mother.  I was there to get test results.  The nurse came out with a piece of crumpled paper and said “we have to talk.  This isn’t your mother, is it?  We wouldn’t want to discuss this in front of your mother”.. and then handed me the crumpled paper.   My mother and I exchanged glances and the paper said  “you are not pregnant“  and then had some letters after that.       
We laughed because of course I’m not pregnant.  Then my mom left and the nurse told me

 ”you need to get on antibiotics right away or this could get worse”.  

what??  what could get worse??

didn’t you see the letters on the paper??

I don’t understand…

What were the letters??

HV? 

uh-huh!   Now what do you think that means???

it’ s NOT HIV?/

No darling..  it’s herpes.  You have herpes.   Go get on antibiotics right away. 

I can’t have herpes!!   I’ve been married for 15 years… 

{knowing look from nurse}

well, are you going to give me a prescription for antibiotics?

No.. just take that paper to the pharmacist.  He’ll know what to do… 

Oh.  Okay….

So, I was driving to the pharmacist and for some ridiculous reason wasn’t going to kill  Seven.. I just kept thinking  “Now I have to tell every partner I ever have for the rest of my life I have herpes.. How embarrassing”…

I got to the pharmacy and the Pharmacist said that I don’t have full-blown herpes.  I only have the beginning of herpes.  So I can take antibiotics and it may go away.  Or it may not.  It’s really a crapshoot. 

and then I woke up.  

WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.   ??? 

{for other forays into my wacky dreams….  click on the “My F*ed up dreams” category on the right of this page}