We had a leak in our kitchen. It was apparently a “slow leak” which is the poison apple of all leaks… causes damage before you even know it’s there. My kitchen floors are now buckled. I filed an insurance claim and it was all pretty painless. The kitchen floors were old and I’m not attached.
Except for the damage is not just in my kitchen. It’s in my office. And playroom. And the floors I have throughout the rest of the house will now have to be replaced. I LOVE my floors. LOVE THEM. Took me months to find them, had to have them special ordered and spent a fuckton of money on them. And 6 years later, I still love them.. scratches and all.
And now I have to pick new ones. And it’s giving me an ulcer. Of course, the manufacturer of my current floors who was in business for 85 years, has since closed down so I have to start from total scratch. Let me tell y’all something about me… I HATE this stuff… I do not want to ponder details…
I buy cars sight unseen as long as they have the features I want.. I don’t care about color or interior or finishes. I just don’t.
I told the contractor “Please just do it. Just do it. I do not want to deal with 10 different people, I do not want to negotiate and haggle.. I don’t have the time… Just do it… do it right… and do it in this budget.. Please. ”
And he’s great and he will. But I still have to choose flooring. Travertine tile for the kitchen and a comparable wood for the rest of the house. And while many of you would get a lady boner (or man boner..;) from shopping and choosing and comparing…. I do not. My lady boner is a wet noodle. Elephant trunk. Deflated balloon. I have lady impotence. And they don’t make little blue pills to cure this ailment. I don’t need a little blue pill. I need someone to make these decisions for me. Someone who knows exactly what I want before I do. Someone who will make the time to shop and browse and research. Someone who will just MAKE THIS HAPPEN while I work and deal with my own life.
Oh my God…. I need a wife.
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