Articles Comments

Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary, Drunk Blogging, Ramblings, Uncategorized » i failed the pencil test ™

i failed the pencil test ™


damn.   damn damn damn damn….  

I have officially failed the pencil test.  FML.

I am 39.  I have nursed 3 babies.  And yet…  I have continued to pass the pencil test year after year…  

{note:  pencil test ~~ as if you didn’t know~~ is……   put a pencil or a crayon under your boob.   If it falls down , your boobs are awesome.  If it stays,  your boobs are droopy, and therefore suck.}

I have NEVER held a pencil.  Or a crayon.   Until now.    We all know I’ve gained some weight recently.  (could be the 1-year bender.. I dunno… nobody’s judging)… ..  The bonus of my weight gain that my boozoombas are huge.   The negative of huge boozoombas is that I have now failed the pencil test.   {and yes.. I gave myself the pencil test just for shits and giggles…. you do Black Friday YOUR way.. I do it MINE}

Obviously there will be no picture to accompany this post.  

Good Day Sir……    I said Good Day!

If you liked this post, please consider leaving a comment, share, or subscribe to RSS feed

Filed under: Dear Diary, Drunk Blogging, Ramblings, Uncategorized



Everything that I never knew I wanted.

Why being a bad "parent" makes me a good "mom"

I am BLESSED and I don't care who knows it.

To blog or to Facebook? That is the question....

Why December kicks my ass. Every fracking year.

11 Responses to "i failed the pencil test ™"

  1. Liese says:

    Do we get bonus points for holding a beer bottle under those? If so, I win, bitches!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      THAT is impressive! I’m still sad about the pencil.. maybe if I made it more interesting, I’d be happier 😉

  2. Katey says:

    Ok now I’m a little scared. I was referred to your blog by someone who obviously thinks I’m an HMM. And I admit, I am. I read your posts all the time and laugh, finding your life eerily similar to mine: 3 kids I love but who are really gross, a hot husband who is sometimes douchey, and lots of crazy ass friends who I party way too much with. But after reading this one, I’m really thinking we may have been separated at birth….my equally HM friend and I constantly say (slur) to each other: “Good day sir. I said good day!” In fact, she even bought me a t-shirt with that on it for my birthday! Scary I tell ya.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      we will have to be “rejoined” at the million milf march !!! new orleans.. septmember 2012!! more to come soon…
      but also… didn’t you get a Vodka baby for xmas? i feel like your name is familiar???

      1. Katey says:

        Yep that’s me…yellow rose of Texas. 🙂

  3. Stephanie says:

    Don’t hate me because I passed the pencil test. I have a second mortgage to go with that privilege.

  4. Claire Lopez says:

    I haven’t passed that f*ing test since I was in high school! Sadly, that is the absolute truth.

  5. […] inspired by Hot Mess Mom. News flash!! She failed The Pencil Test! I’m not alone! Read on: If you don’t like today’s post, blame her, not […]

  6. Natalie says:

    The pencil test?! Psshh…I failed the 64 Crayola Box test! 😉

  7. rocko says:

    Thank-you for posting. I have found some crazy happiness
    following you.keep up the good work

Leave a Reply