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Hot Mess Mom » Dear Diary » I don’t have a title for this post

I don’t have a title for this post


My dad was in sales.  He made a shit ton of money in sales.  All I ever wanted to do was to make a shit ton of money in sales also.

I was a Communications/ English major.   I got into sales immediately after college.   My first “grown up”  job (internship a few months prior to graduating) was in customer service for an International Import/ Export company.  I had my own office.  I slept under my desk.  I was 23…. don’t judge.

Then I moved to Seattle and did sales/ office management.

Then I moved back to Florida.   And went into sales for several years.  I traveled the country, I sold.  I was pretty good at what I did.

Then I got pregnant.   I left my job.  I looked for a temp job to get me through the next 6 months… I didn’t want to travel while pregnant and I didn’t want to keep a job that kept me away from home.  I took a job as an “administrative assistant” to a VP of a Fortune 500 Company.   It was temporary.

Except it wasn’t.  I loved it.  Who knew?

Spreadsheets and data and reports and number crunching…. I could get lost for hours in the numbers.

Number One is currently being diagnosed as ADHD.  Number One (although he makes me punch a baby) is exactly like me.

I never knew that I could sit still and focus on one thing (besides reading) for hours until I took a job that I didn’t want.  I stayed there for 8 years.

The job grew, the responsibilities grew, the title changed.. but it was still administration.  I loved it.

The parts of the job that my peers hated (numbers, budgets, spreadsheets, monotony), I loved. I craved.  I thrived.

Hot Mess Mom was supposed to be a creative outlet.   It turned into a business.

I was supposed to make money on advertisers.   I make money on product.

And sitting on my floor EVERY SINGLE NIGHT…  processing orders, printing labels, packing boxes….. is exhausting.  And frustrating.  And maybe my favorite part of the day.

I don’t have a title for this post.  There must be a name.  Or a diagnosis.  Or something that describes a person that hates the conventional, but strives off of structure….  I can’t explain it.. I don’t know what it is..  but it’s me.  And if asked to spend a night dancing or creating charts and graphs… it would be a hard call.  (as long as I had a cocktail in both situations)…

What’s the deal?


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Filed under: Dear Diary



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17 Responses to "I don’t have a title for this post"

  1. Muffy says:

    Freak. Show.

  2. Kristen Mae says:

    I have these kinds of thoughts while in the shower or driving. They never get written down. I always think I’m weird for having them, so it’s nice to know I’m not the only weirdo.

    I went from musician to admin to homemaker (talk about wanting to punch a baby) to admin to musician. I always thought I was a really focused person but my life looks like the life of a person with ADHD, so I’m wondering if I’m going to have to stop blaming the husband’s genes for my 6-year-old’s diagnosis… haha.


  3. I think it’s all about channeling energy into something that you can control! It’s very theraputic and I can totally relate to this! It’s great that you recognize this and great that you love to do what many would hate to do! I think that’s what makes life so interesting. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure! And I agree with the cocktail part whole heartedly! :) thank you for sharing!

  4. Teresa says:

    Though I read your blog frequently, I never reply. This one moved me to respond. I frequently go in to work in the morning excited to show my boss a new Access query or Excel reporting format or Powerpoint presentation. She used to respond “That looks great. Bring to the next meeting or forward it to so and so”. She would always ask did you do it on the clock? I say “no, I was just playing around”. Now she just says “you know you have a sickness right?”

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      it IS!! right? jeez…. I guess we could have worse vices…. oh, wait… I do! shit.

  5. DC says:

    I’m on the fence here! I don’t know if I should offer you my professional advice or hold my tongue, so too speak? So here’s my compromise. Madame HMM, you have found your niche and calling in life by being a great Mom, spouse, and with your blog, website, and home sales business. You are doing what you love to do! Few people can say that with all honesty!

    You should call this post of yours HMM’s Niche. :)

  6. krissylou says:

    You found your passion! You enjoy being productive and crunching numbers, doing paperwork. And you started your own business where you are able to do all those things on YOUR time and YOUR terms – that’s pretty awesome. Go HMM!

  7. Sv says:

    So I’ve been reading your posts for about a month now, HMM. And first let me say between my husband and I we have 8 kids ranging from 19 years to six months, we’re a blended family. My husband, along with 2 of his children and all of mine (except the baby) are diagnosed ADHD. My husband was just diagnosed a few years ago. He’s an amazing man and I live him completely …especially since his diagnosis and the medication that promptly followed. I have an appt next week to be evaluated for ADHD as well. Since being home fulltime with the baby I’ve noticed that my 4 children’s symptoms sound an awful lot like me. Never really noticed before because I always worked atleast 40 hours and was a single mom until I met my husband. Just some food for thought.

  8. joe dee says:

    “Or something that describes a person that hates the conventional, but strives off of structure”… im pretty sure its called a hot mess.

  9. Munchkin Momma says:

    I thought I was the only one! Just discover your site and so glad I did! You crack me up!

  10. gay says:

    you know Jack in the Box stole your moniker to describe it’s new burger? just saying…lawsuit…

  11. Hey, it’s really part of our life.. :D I can really feel you, you’re just like me. Just live fully!

  12. Angela says:

    Your story sounds similar to mine. I took a job I never thought would be ‘me’ but it was. I worked as a receptionist for the #3 law firm in the state. Answering phones, greeting clients, being the ‘face’ of the firm. It led me directly to my current job, which didn’t even exist when I was choosing a major in college. Online community & social media manager. I’m the face of brands.

  13. Bonnie says:

    The world is a better place with a good spreadsheet or a budget that isn’t quite adding up that needs to be studied… In today’s crazy world, all those numbers are one of the few things that still make sense… God bless data!

  14. Lunardonut says:

    I just can’t get past the fact that you sit on your floor and do this all night. If I stay down on the floor for more than 5 minutes my legs fall asleep and I’d face plant.

  15. Brigette H says:

    My favorite thing is shelving books in the school library. I quietly sing the alphabet to myself and shelve away. The librarian thinks I’m nuts, but she loves the help.

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