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Hot Mess Mom » Grown-up time, Things that are NOT awesome » I came home with crabs.

I came home with crabs.


Had lunch today with 2 guys I’ve been friends with since high school.  With 3 families, 3 jobs, and 3 drinking habits, we don’t see each other as much as we’d like.  Our lunch convo went a little something like this.

Me:  I’ll have another glass of wine please

Guy1: I can’t have a drink.  I have a way important meeting.

Guy2:  same here

Me:  Whatever.. that sounds like poor planning to me.  I’m not afraid to drink alone.

Guy1: Uh.. yeah. cuz we were supposed to have lunch TOMORROW which worked for everyone until you changed it.

Me:  Listen… my roots are grey and my hair girl could get me in at noon tomorrow.  So suck it.

Guy2:  Really?  Your conflict was a hair appointment??

Me:  Dude.. can you see me?  I’m 40 years old and I’m wearing a fucking headband.

Guys 1&2:   bwahahawwahhhhaaaa..

Me:  I need to stop on the way home and buy some blue crabs for Number Two’s birthday dinner tomorrow.

Guys: {giggle}.. you said ‘crabs’

Me:  Yep..  I’m going home after lunching with you fucks with nothing but a buzz and a couple dozen crabs.

In unison:  Just like high school!!!!!

1 2

And then my dad texted me and told me that I had to make sure no crabs were upside down since we aren’t cooking them until tomorrow..  The next 20 minutes went a little something like this:


But then I did it anyway..  In the presence of my kids,  my dog, my sister and her kids..   Enjoy ;)

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Filed under: Grown-up time, Things that are NOT awesome



I had a slow leak (not a metaphor) and now I need a wife.

TTVD~~ It's contagious

My "inflatable friend" days are coming to an end ;(

Central Floridians~~ Come join me for The D* Word!!

6 Responses to "I came home with crabs."

  1. Jen says:

    I’m trying to figure out how he knows it’s a female and why that would make it better.

    Now I miss my dad.

    Props to you for touching those things.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      lol! we are from new orleans.. we know our crabs. (the belly.. the skinny belly is a male.. the fat is a female ;)

  2. Ed Buggy says:

    I get worried when I see this shit in my in box…

    It just shipped!

    Hello Edward

    Your package from Hot Mess Events & Entertainment, LLC is on its way. You can track it online using this tracking number.

    WTF Hot Mess? What have you done to my wife?

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      lol!!!! she married you… she was already half way there…

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