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Hot Mess Mom » Tuesdays with Gooley » Gooley’s take on the Million Milf March…

Gooley’s take on the Million Milf March…

IT WAS THAT DAMN GOOD….

 

Where do I begin? I have been writing this post in my brain all day and have come to the conclusion that what went down over the weekend with 200+ kindred spirits in New Orleans is impossible to fully express  with words and pictures.

It was beautiful. It was REAL. It was UNBELIEVABLY FUN!!!!!!!!!! (every exclamation mark is important)

Quite frankly, it was the best getaway weekend of my life. Thank you, HMM….my friend and alt-universe cartoon world soul mate. You are a force majeure (BB helped with spelling.)  I’m in awe of your magnetism and now know why we have re-united…cuz it feels so good. (Yeah – I just dropped a Peaches and Herb reference on y’all.)

I’m still reeling, a bit discombobulated, and oddly energetic on this Monday evening. This Monday evening after four solid days of epic partying…embarrassing partying…check yo-self into rehab immediately cuz you have a problem… partying.

And, somehow it was all ok and worked out for me. Why? Because I had a power-posse of unbelievable, dynamic superwomen in my midst. I was in their weather pattern and knew at a heart level that they had my back. It made it possible for me to let go and have fun…to go full-Gooley.

That’s what I did.

I’ll spare you the chronological walk-thru; if you are reading this, than you have read many accounts from many others. Facebook is BLOWING UP with accolades and such.  “Madwoman” did an amazing job of capturing the spirit of the event (Check it out here if not ).  Soon, HMM will give her take – I’m sure complete with pictures and back scene shenanigans. I’ll just ramble about my thoughts and impressions. I could write a book – but won’t so here’s my post party MMM splooge.

I’ll begin with Big Balls. Good God Almighty that man is special. The Friday night festivities at Fulton on Tap were amplified by his contribution. Sasquatch showed up with Bananas and primal energy. That’s right. Big Balls hired a dude in a Sasquatch costume to entertain the crowd.

And entertain he did.

What’s MORE entertaining is the process that made it possible. Big Balls is a bit particular. He has VERY high standards. It wasn’t enough to hire a guy in a gorilla suit to show up and go through the motions. NO, this was a project and Big Balls worked it from 3000 miles away.

There was a month of interviews and email photo exchanges. It was important that Sasquatch be VERY attractive – under the mask??? I know. He even placed a Craigslist ad. In this moment I challenge you to find it. I have not looked but it exists in New Orleans Craigslist. This I learned today. If you find, please advise. Today he told me that he had many pictures sent and rejected all of them. He was in constant contact with the costume shop and they just were not on his program. BB wanted a 6’5” 240LB devastatingly handsome  built man under the mask – cuz that’s important in a Halloween suit. Instead he settled for a really attractive 25 year old kid that had the best night of his entire life – and probably got laid.

That’s a book in itself but I must move on.

That same night it was my responsibility – as delegated by HMM – to meet the contingent of MMMers in the hotel lobby and lead them to the event. Easy right? I got this. She even told me to take time and map the course so I wouldn’t get lost. I rolled my eyes and told her to relax – its 4 blocks and one right turn away.

So, I am in the lobby with my mini umbrella, cocktail in hand, wrangling MILFs. I was a chatterbox. The party had begun. I vaguely remember asking an ultra-MILF for another cocktail while waiting ( Liese?) Anyway, the clock struck and we walked toward the party. I immediately got lost and knew the weekend was REALLY in full swing. I still had the umbrella up above my head leading second line – while asking everyone where the hell we were going. This is where I realized being in the presence of moms is important. Mom energy got us to the party. My energy would have gotten us all killed. It’s New Orleans where you are one bad turn away from disaster.

We arrived at the Friday soirée en masse. It did not take long before I was dancing like a white boy gone wrong…with a pink feather boa and a banana in my back pocket.  There are pictures. The synergy in that room was off the charts. It was the “get to know you” moment and it was seamless. THESE GIRLS FUCKING PARTIED. And my uncoordinated ass danced like I thought I could. 25 yr. old Sasquatch was laying it down. I met him in the bathroom and had a big brother conversation with him. “Dude, these girls love you. Take care of them and they will take care of you.” His response. “Uh, umm yeah. You really don’t have to pay me….uh…blah..happy..uh ooze…uh love.” Or something like that. Then he put his mask back on and threw a MILF over his shoulder for another ride.

The night ended with members of the audience; ROCK STAR MILFS – paying the band to keep the party going. That’s right. The party was way too good to end so the crew ponied up and kept the vibe on track.

I remember little else….

Next day.

Saturday was epic. Just look at the pics and try to extrapolate the vibe. You can’t…it was that special. In a blender, mix one part HMM bonding to two parts love energy. Add alcohol. Then throw in a seasoning packet created by magicians who know WAY more than we humans about how to create an experience. Or ask HMM…and take notes. Cuz that day was supersilly special. Again, I am all about words and they only begin to convey the experiential.

Here’s where I need to break down and share why I am also a hot mess. A “fucking train wreck” as called out by HMM her damn self.

If you go back to my first post and her HMM introduction to our relationship, you will read about how I was the responsible one. My how have times changed! We have grown into ourselves and become who we ARE. She is a dynamo. Her messy persona is quite real but it’s in context of the cartoon world we celebrate and meet within. In reality she is a leader nonpareil. If you were at the event you would not question this.

Me? I’m special. And here’s why. I ride the wave of energy no matter where I happen to be and become what is necessary. I have the capacity for leadership. I have the capacity to be led. No ego involvement.

This weekend, I was in her wake. Not just hers but all of the women who made the effort to celebrate this extraordinary bond. This power was so vast that it led me somewhere. That overwhelming energy dictated my role – normally the protector and alpha. Not in this case. It was unbelievable. These women were in charge and I simply danced and oozed in ways I have never done in my life.

MEN – if you read this take pause. DO NOT read this from the POV of your prescribed paradigm. I am a VERY STRONG man. It is my strength that allowed me to be vulnerable in this situation. It’s why it was special for me.

How was I vulnerable? Moreso – how was I real? Again, another book but let’s go down the comical inappropriate role that suits the occasion and HMM in general.

Dear lord I say some fucked up shit – especially when I’m out of my mind which was all weekend. It took three drinks and an alcohol haze to get this far into this post so why hold back now? And dudes who know me? Your asses better give me props and trust I’m on the real. And don’t run – cuz I’ll come after you so get on board. J

Quotes in no special order that make me a tragic mess….in comments feel free to add because I’m barely connecting synapses this late. You know who you are..

Wow…Seriously, I forgot just about every quote that was barked back to me throughout my hazy weekend. They were ALL embarrassing. They were ALL inappropriate. Because it’s late, I ask that the few who witnessed my unraveling reveal these gems. My brain is maxed out. There is still so much to tell! I give you permission to let it fly – I would have but am brain locked (LIESE!!!)

Importantly I want to give props. Moreso give thanks and gratitude to the special few who really had my back this weekend.

Clearly HMM is a serious rockstar and I owe her much. What else can be said? She’s a shining light and everyone in her vortex benefits from her genuine love and generosity. Take it all in young lady. You are the real deal. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 40s are your BITCH.

Ann, Erika, Liese, and Julie….Wow. Thank you so much. What we experienced was real. Our roles were organic. And our memories FORGED. I am forever in awe and only now “get” what motherhood and true sacrifice and unconditional love is all about. Words are just words – you showed me.

And anyone who thinks they know what throwing a party is all about? FUCKING BLUEPRINT WRITTEN.

Gooley out…Next year gets better. Get there.


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13 Responses to "Gooley’s take on the Million Milf March…"

  1. I have so much to say but I am way too overwhelmed. Ann, Erika, Julie, and Jim, I love you forever.

  2. Madwoman says:

    Damn Gooley…first of all…phenomenal writing. Just wow. The muthas were actually saying today that the wildly successful MMM this year would certainly generate huge crowds next year. At first that seemed great, then we got scared that huge crowds would mess us our little love fest. But I’m pretty sure people get it now…I’m pretty sure they get the vibe…so I’m thinking forward to next year, when probably 10 times that many MILFs all with the same attitude converge upon my city. Talk about rockin it! “We celebrate ourselves” is what HMM said. OMG…we SO DID!!!! Life is so awesome when you let go. It’s why we raise our hands on roller coaster rides!!! LOVED meeting you and the HMM posse…so looking forward to Take II.

  3. Ann says:

    “What we experienced was real. Our roles were organic. And our memories FORGED. I am forever in awe and only now “get” what motherhood and true sacrifice and unconditional love is all about. Words are just words – you showed me.”
    VERY WELL PUT! MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP.
    Every time I’m with HMM, I am awestruck by her magnetic personality. It was very apparent that everyone is drawn to her. I can’t tell you how proud I am of HER. And I want HER to be very proud of HERSELF too.

    Here’s a one Goolyism that almost made me pee.
    “I’m so bad at the Gay. I suck…”

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      oh. my. God. OMG. OMG OMG OMG…..

    2. Julie says:

      That. Is. AWESOME.

  4. Ann says:

    that is effing fantastic. I love Big Balls… Good Work! :)

  5. wy says:

    I am speechless. What fun. Kudos to HMM and Gooley too.
    “It’s New Orleans where you are one bad turn away from disaster.” Know that feeling only too well.

  6. Gooley says:

    Holy shit!
    Good work Claudia! I just burst into a pile of laughter. BB asked why and I couldn’t get out the words. That is BB in a nutshell.
    Imagine the interviews?

  7. JoJo says:

    Great post Gooley and you got yourself quite a catch there in BB! Wouldn’t miss MMM Part Deux!

  8. Dee, Liese's Mommie says:

    It was fantastic and all of you are fantastic. I’m so glad I wasa able to meet all of you and share in your joy. Next year for sure!!

  9. [...] you’ve read my post, Gooley’s post, or the Madwoman’s post about the Million MILF March, ,you understand the level of [...]

  10. Julie Oliver says:

    Somehow I missed Tuesdays with Gooley on Tuesday…so many emotions and so much love MMM weekend that that my subconscious must have known I wasnt emotionally ready on Tuesday to relive such an amazing weekend… But damn. You made me teary-eyed, Gools! I have never felt so much positive energy and so much love. I loved every minute of this weekend! Every single minute! I met friends I feel like I’ve known forever. We laughed and like old friends. I love love love you and will spoon feed you any time! Just call. :-) xoxo
    Ps. Liese, I’m calling you when I need someone to bail me out of jail! Xo

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