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Hot Mess Mom » Tuesdays with Gooley » Gooley is stepping up. Class, meet your substitute teacher.

Gooley is stepping up. Class, meet your substitute teacher.

I’m so fucking benevolent.

Yeah, I truly am. While Miss Messy Pants assembles the down and dirty soirée in New Orleans in a couple weeks…while raising kids and such, I made a grand unselfish gesture. I decided to take valuable time away from my busy schedule of going to the gym, enjoying cocktails, napping, and pretending to be a farmer to spit out a few more posts to entertain you all. That’s right…I’ll be your substitute teacher for a couple of weeks.

I will offend you.

I will make you squirm.

I will not edit much.

I will Mommy Blog my ass off over the next few weeks, and then meet a lot of you so you can congratulate me for being such a wonderful human being. Please feel free to buy me drinks. I enjoy vodka…but WILL NOT drink “Little Black Dress” Vodka; Cuz that would make this far too real for me and you’d likely see me disintegrate into a dramatic meltdown. So just tell me it’s Absolut and then snicker behind my back.

Speaking of the Soiree…the Million MILF March…I truly hope you all find your way down to play. I find myself oddly giddy to play with everyone. Not sure why, other than the fact that I’ve come to “know” many of you and am VERY surprised at the level of camaraderie that is and continues to be generated by all the mommy blogging back and forth. You all trash talk with the best of ‘em! And I love it. I would not have had this glimpse into your world had it not been for the friendship I cherish and build with Mess Lady.

So let’s celebrate!!! Let’s break out of the mold…and by” let’s” I mean You mommies. I’m just the wacky neighbor in this sitcom but I do appreciate all that you do and want to be a part of honoring that by creating a cartoon world where you can escape, bond, play, let your hair down and cut loose. You’ll have fun and be a better person for having taken the time away to take care of YOU.

Alright…I’m going to bed now.

Get your ass to NOLA.

Gooley out


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16 Responses to "Gooley is stepping up. Class, meet your substitute teacher."

  1. joe dee says:

    thanks Mamma-gooley, this should be interesting!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      Jody.. you are as funny as he is … a loyal reader of the mommy blog :) You wanna submit a guest post too during my break? could be fun ;)

      1. Ann says:

        Gooley gonn-done turn the mommy blog world upside-down! Getcha’ party on Mamas! Ya Hear?

  2. Geri says:

    I must admit…. I’m pretty giddy and excited that Gooley will be filling in!! Love me some hot mess and Gooley! Write away Gooley,.. Write away….

  3. Gooley says:

    JOE DEE… Yeah. bring the funny!!!

    1. Ann says:

      Joe Dee… bring your funny to NOLA!

  4. I’m just going to assume that this whole post was about me.

  5. Lebo says:

    I understand no “little black dress”, but what about a “skinny girl”? Haha!

  6. Kristi says:

    Oh lord! Someone shut down the interwebs….

  7. Madwoman says:

    What about his highness, Big Balls? Is he coming? Or does someone have to stay and tend to the farm?

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      i’m sure jim has his own answer.. my answer is that A) the farm needs tending and B) Big Balls hates people. ;)

  8. Gooley says:

    BB + screaming drunk women = disaster.
    We can all drink dirty BB MARTINIS using Little Black Dress Vodka and pay homage…from a safe distance.

  9. Becky says:

    Gonna love Gooley blog for the next few weeks, since HMM sucks at writing right now…lo. Still love her though. I so wish I was going to be able to go to the MMM. Y’all drink plenty for me and give Gooley lots of love for me!

  10. Brenda Boo says:

    Glory be…can it be true? My pet Goolfish is spreading his fins and swimming in the murky and magical waters of the Hot Mess aquarium? Angels are singing and children in the Netherlands are donning their woooden shoes and clogging with glee. And here I sit, in a pool of “can’t freaking wait to read what’s coming our way,” in the quiet suburb of Chesapeake, VA. Sure, I’ll miss reading the deranged/delightful/dedicated/decadent/delirious musings of Hot Mess, but I understand that right now, she has bigger fish to fry (thankfully, not my pet Goolfish). You leave me unhinged and wanting more…and today, specifically, I want to know what makes BB’s tick tock. Of course he hates people. But he has a well of love in him so deep that it will never run dry. He’s nutty and a modern-day Buddha sitting under the Bodhi Tree. Thank you for heeding Hot Mess’ call for help in the form of your words.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      i swear i gonna need you to comment on every HMM post ever written. I can read your shizzle all day long.. love you girlie.. wish we could spend our 40th together ;)

    2. Gooley says:

      Holy moly!
      I’m on my meddle now…I just read this to BB and he smiled big.
      He even threatened to write an entry himself.
      Not sure I’m ready for that :)

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