Hot Mess Mom » Antics, Family » Extreme Easter Egg Hunting~ Original Post date 4/8/12
Extreme Easter Egg Hunting~ Original Post date 4/8/12
I have a sister. She is 2 years younger than me. Every Easter when we were little, our parents had an Easter egg hunt for us. When we got to college, they continued to hide eggs. Filled with money.
The egg hunt at my parents house is famous. Any boyfriend, roommate, friend or relative that has ever spent Easter with our family remembers the egg hunt.
My sister was an SEC collegiate athlete. I prefer a glass of wine to exercise. The minute she sees me move towards a spotted egg, she comes in for the kill. She’s fast and she’s strong. I am neither. Bitch. Our egg hunts are knock-down drag-out fights. Some eggs have a quarter. Some have a 20-dollar bill. Others have everything in between. Some years my dad hid as much as $250 in the eggs.
We have had the hunt every year. Even when one or both of us were pregnant. Even when I was walking with a cane. She showed no mercy. We had to move the hunt “outside of the pool area” the year she pushed me in the pool in my Easter clothes. I was 27. She always gets the most money. {Cuz she’s a bully and rips eggs out of my hands or pushes me down and jumps over me}. The only time I ever got the most money was when she lived in Europe and Seven had to stand in for her. He’s not nearly as aggressive, nor does he know the good hiding spots.
As we started our own families, we had to do egg hunts for the kids. My parents are much more democratic with the grands than they were with their children. Each grandchild has the same number of eggs, all color-coded (ie: Number One has all green eggs, Number Two all orange, etc). The level of difficulty is based on the age of child. Blah blah blah.. We all patiently and happily watch the children have their hunt, which is non-violent and therefore terribly boring. And THEN it’s time for the main event.
THIS year… instead of my parents hiding our eggs, we split the yard in half {my parents’ yard is a huge garden ..totally covered in plants} and hid each others eggs. She hid mine first. Then I hid hers. But before hiding hers, I removed all of the money and hid it in my bra. {Thankfully there was no change}
On your mark….get set… GO! (Note.. we are 37 & 39 years old). During the first 5 minutes neither one of us found any. Then I found one in a rat trap.. in the poison. And another buried under a rock. I buried hers under mulch and threw several 6 feet up into stag-horn ferns. ( we never did find them all).
When she would find one, she would open it up and it was empty.. “What the hell???”… I was snorting and shaking with laughter. THEN Number Three started sneaking into her bag and re-hiding the eggs she had already found.
My family is twisted. It’s so funny. Our egg hunts are the stuff of legend….. My parents are trying to come up with a “new” way to do it for next year… after all, I will be 40 and she can’t keep pummeling me. Whatever they decide on, I promise you it will be ridiculous and funny and the kids will rush carelessly through their hunt so they can sit and watch ours.
My boys want to know when they can have an ‘Easter Egg Fight” like we do…. I told them when they were old enough to take a punch without crying. Isn’t that what Easter is all about? 
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Now I want to have kids. Just so I can do this to them. Haha!!
That is exceptional. I am envious that you had any kind of egg hunt. We never did. BUt yours sounds like the stuff of legends. I can’t believe your parents put so much effort into the grands with the color coding and levels of difficulty. And i love that they have theirs and then the show begins. This is absolutely what memories are made of!!!
I think it’s awesome that you have those childhood memories and that your kids get to experience them with you. Happy Easter!
You’ve inspired me and my inner Easter Bunny!
I am laughing out loug and choking on my chips. I can’t fkn wait for my kids to be old enough to give a shit about money in Easter eggs.
Do you feel validated now, Slore?
college.. college is the time that your daughters will cut a bitch for $20.
“cuntholio”…..
OMG! Rolling over here….
You all frighten me.
I’m on a desperate search for funny and it’s on the other side of the country…apparently where all the Slores are…I’m having an episode.
And sidenote. Autocorrect options for slore:
slots
slote
floor
flore
slope
FYI
i think it’s a Slut/Whore combo.. and i told you.. just look to the past.. you could tell about how i taught you to drive a stick.. since I barely remember that.. or when E peed in Rich’s waterbed.. or… i dunno.. ANYTHING else that happened in the 20+ years between then and now? just sayin’..
Wow. Epic. My parents used to hide money in eggs, too. But the most was a five dlar bill.
Hilarious!!!
Sometimes I want to be part of your family, and sometimes you scare me.
So did you keep your sisters money? That is just too funny..
My parents gave up on hiding “adults” easter eggs after Stanky came along (#2 for those counting). It was just too dangerous
My MIL once mowed over Divo in her quest to find an egg with $40 in it.
We have totally knock-down egg hunts for the kids. I count all the eggs ahead of time, then hide them as deviously as possible, just like daddy taught me. That damn Easter bunny hops REALLY high, and can dig a hole the size of a labrador retriever. He also likes eggs that are camo-colored, or resemble dog-crap (wait, that WAS dog-crap). It’s hilarious, especially when Thing (2) finds more of the deviously hidden eggs than his older co-conspirators.
My grandparents use to do egg hunts for money… one year my cousin and I pushed my older sister into the rose bushes…. took her out of the game!