I have a blog. Officially, I have a “Mommy blog”. Clearly, I talk about my children. I talked about my children before I had a blog. I shared stories with friends on the phone, in person, via email, and eventually on Facebook.
Our Facebook pages are an extension of our person. It’s the new millenium’s version of the diary we let our girlfriends read. If something is private, you don’t put it on Facebook. All else is fair game– fodder to be shared with the masses.
I enjoy the fodder. I enjoy Facebook. I like “knowing” what is going on in peoples lives without all that pesky personal contact. I like to see pictures of my friend’s children as they grow. I enjoy watching family vacations unfold. It’s fun to see statuses change from ‘single” to “in a relationship” to “married” and then back to “it’s complicated”. These are things I enjoy.
There are things however, that I do not enjoy. Sometimes I roll my eyes, other times I cringe. And still others, I want to reach through my computer screen and hit someone in the head with a tack hammer.
No one talks about their children more than me. (“Mommy” blogger, remember?) How great would this blog be if I told you every day how awesome and incredible and smart and respectful my children and my husband were? Not great at all. It would be sans greatness. It would be great-free. Great-less.
It would be douche-baggery.
Which leads me to the reason for this post. Sometimes I feel it is my responsibility to share common knowledge with people who’s behavior shows me that they just don’t know. Some behavior is so confusing to me that my mind will not allow me to believe that people behave that way intentionally. They just can’t know. For example, I wrote School Pick-up & Drop-off guidelines not because I am an angry elf, but because I was doing a public service. When I threatened to make that lady’s baby an orphan, I was simply trying to point out that 4 month-olds don’t speak and that no one looks good in a jersey dress. Again- public service.
Today, I feel it imperative to establish some easily decipherable ‘best practices’ for posting about your family on Facebook.
A few examples:
- Your child was struggling, worked really hard, got a good grade and you are so proud of him: GOOD
- Your child always gets good grades. You are always proud of him. You always post about it: BAD
- You post your child’s actual test scores so your cyber friends will know exactly how smart he is: UGLY
- Your spouse sends you flowers for a special occasion or for no reason. You post a pic: GOOD
- Your spouse sends you flowers, AGAIN. You post a pic. AGAIN. You reflect on your good fortune for marrying such an amazingly thoughtful and generous person: BAD
- You post daily about your perfect family, perfect marriage, perfect children. Nothing in your life is ever wrong: UGLY
- Your child’s sports team wins the big game. Your child played well, perhaps even scored: GOOD
- Your child is the star of the team and you document weekly how many points he scored and what an amazing athlete he is: BAD
- You have no knowledge of anything else and can only communicate in sports analogies. You have forgotten you once had an identity other than sport parent and therefore post from every practice, scrimmage, and game: UGLY
- Your child is accepted to an exclusive school. You are thrilled and in awe: GOOD
- Of course your child was accepted to an exclusive school. He’s a genius! Hasn’t everyone seen his test scores? You’ll post them again just in case. BAD
- You change your profile picture to that of a mascot for said school and share links of all pertinent school info including admission requirements and tuition. UGLY
If you liked this post, please consider leaving a comment, share, or subscribe to RSS feed
RELATED POSTS & INTERESTS