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There’s a chance THIS IS MINE!!! {half explanation and half angry rant}

  Hello!! My name Inigo Montoya, you kill my father.. prepare to die. No, wait.. that’s not right.. Hello!  My name is Hot Mess Mom!  I am the sole owner of Hot Mess Events & Entertainment.  I write a blog.  I hold events.  I sell merchandise. One morning in 2012, I got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and said to myself Self? You know what would be funny?  Water bottles with “there’s a chance this is vodka” written on them.  Ha Ha Ha!! You are soooooooo funny! So, I called my printer, ordered a few cases of bottles and had him print them.  My invoice for this order was $1500.   I had no money and no guarantee that they would sell, but I went out on a limb and did it.   … Read entire article »

Filed under: I may be PMSing..., Ramblings, Uncategorized

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures!

I love blogging. I mean really, really love it. Well, I like it a lot. I enjoy it most of the time. Meh, it’s okay.*shrug* Don’t get me wrong, I do love writing and interacting with everyone in the blogosphere. But there are so many other responsibilities to be taken into consideration, like cleaning the house and making occasional eye contact with my children, that a lot of times I feel pulled in multiple directions. No matter how much you love something, it can get pretty stressful to juggle what you should do, what you want to do, what you’re in the mood to do, and what your spouse wishes you were in the mood to do more often (wink wink, nudge nudge) – all while writing and keeping Child Protective Services at bay. So, on some … Read entire article »

Filed under: Guest Bloggers, Uncategorized

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes the ONE and ONLY… Diary of a Madwoman!!!

‘Mernin’ Hot Messes.  It’s Madwoman here.  The Hot Mess is holding a gun to my head, yelling, “Type, type!   Move your fingers, skinny bitch!” Ahhh.  Just kidding.  I’m here because I’ve got madwoman lurve for her.  When she first asked for a guest post I said, “Are you facking kidding me?  I don’t even post on my own blog anymore?” And that’s why this is perfect, right?  Since the topic she suggested was “My love/hate relationship with my blog.”  At first, I decided to just ignore her.  But then I got scared she was going to tackle me and punch me in the tit at the MILF March in September.  I know her type.  She would pretend she was just really drunk.  She would blame it on being butt-ass drunk. So now I’m … Read entire article »

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Summer 2013 Guest Blogger series welcomes Morgan from The Inklings of Life

  Me & My Blog: A Love/Hate Relationship I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who has a bigger love/hate relationship with their blog than me. Seriously, there are days where I have to grab a glass bottle of wine, shut my computer off and say to hell with things until the morning… or 3 days from then.  So, when HMM asked if I’d like to share my story with her readers, I said ‘Hell Yeah’, for a few reasons: I adore HMM. A huge thanks to her for this opportunity. I’d get to cuss a hell of a lot more on her blog than I normally do on mine… which says something because I’m a tattoo artist turned SAHM, and we have filthy mouths (the tattoo artist part of me, not the … Read entire article »

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I did NOT have a lizard in my vagina. But my friend did.

I am in the car heading to my happy place ( Saint Simons Island).  Checked my Facebook.  There was a status from a friend saying “There was a lizard in my pants at the game” The rest is documented below.  You are welcome;) … Read entire article »

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How to Start a Home Based Disney Vacation Business ~ Sponsored Post

Terri Brown is the owner and founder of The Travel Academy LLC. She works with mothers that want to realize their dream of having their own home based business. As an owner of a travel company since 1993, Terri Brown has been consulting families on Disney vacations for 20 years. She is a mother of two and has raised her children while working full-time in her business. What if you could start a real business at home that allows for you to make more money and spend more time with your family by teaming up with great companies like Disney, Universal, and Sea World to create amazing vacations and get paid to send people to the “happiest place on Earth?” As the founder of The Travel Academy and creator of the Orlando Vacation … Read entire article »

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Ketch{ing}up with Old Dog New Tits

  My favorite cocktail in 57 words or less? Really? Vodka. Sometimes whiskey. The end. … Read entire article »

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“there’s a chance” I’m in hell. Need your help.. For realz..

  Need some help.. Seriously.. let’s call it Market research I was going to do a poll on FB but I have too many caveats..  Please comment/respond as HONESTLY as possible!!  I want your feedback on this… IF you purchased a “there’s a chance this is vodka” Water bottle or if you have intentions of doing so in the future… I’m talking to you!      I’m working financials and need to streamline this process.. it’s killing me! Bottom Line:  I shipped 3 fucktons of bottles from October til today.  That is a lot of fucktons.  I want to keep the price at $15 if possible and not raise it.  HOWEVER.. the single bottle orders are killing me in time, supplies, labels, printer ink, etc.   I am going to have to raise the … Read entire article »

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I will NOT cave. And I hate the Joneses

  Every year….every fracking year..   I make my Christmas list (in Excel).  I purchase the desired items.  I color code by child/ order/ and delivery.  I spend too much money.   Every year. My boys are only permitted to ask Santa for 3 things.   When I first met Muffy years ago, before we were friends, she told me that her kids got only 3 gifts each for Christmas.  Our kids were really young..   “Only three??” I asked incredulously.  ”Yup.. I tell them If it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for you”.     I loved that and incorporated it into my “Santa letter” plan. So.. every year, I am methodical about my purchases.  They each have the exact same number of gifts under the tree and, on … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Drunk Blogging, Family, Ramblings, Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome, Uncategorized, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Choosing a beautiful headboard ~SPONSORED POST

  Your bed is one of the most imposing pieces of furniture in your bedroom and can make or break the room’s feel. While your bed frame is generally hidden by linens, the best way to make your bed stand out it to focus attention on the headboard. The right headboard sets the entire decorative theme of a bedroom.  Unlike the old days of purchasing matching bedroom suites, beautiful headboards are available all over for individual sale.  You can find great pieces made from wood, metal and even upholstered in leather or soft fabric. Upholstered headboards Any piece of furniture that comes upholstered instantly brings a warm and luxurious feel. Headboards can be upholstered with materials such as chenille, cotton, faux suede, jacquard, leather and many other type of fabrics. With such a vast … Read entire article »

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