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and THIS is why so many kids these days are pussies

  Honestly,  I cannot even believe that I am writing this post, but after I posted a pic of a text conversation with my son on Facebook and then  some of the comments, I had to drop everything and share this with you. As you may or may not know, I have one highly gifted child, one with a learning disability, and one  who is fairly smart and extremely hard working.   The latter two receive A’s and B’s on every report card and progress report.  Number One gets C’s.  And sometime’s D’s.   Wanna guess which one is “off the charts gifted”?   Yeah.. that one. When I was working, I went to a management conference and the speaker said what employees want more than anything are clearly outlined goals and expectations … Read entire article »

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Everything that I never knew I wanted.

  In 2004, when my husband began traveling extensively for work, my world was turned upside down.  With three sons under 4 years old, we had always shared the parenting responsibilities.  We both worked full time jobs and had scheduled our work hours accordingly.  I worked from 7am – 3pm while he took care of the children.  He worked from 3pm – 11pm while I did.  {Occasionally we even got to sleep!} Our offices were close to one another and we met every day to do the “hand off”. My husband has always been a great dad.  Back then, he was also a great mom.   He had the day shift.  He made pancakes, changed diapers, got them all dressed and almost daily took them on an outing..  the park, the Science Center, the … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Uncategorized

There’s a chance THIS IS MINE!!! {half explanation and half angry rant}

  Hello!! My name Inigo Montoya, you kill my father.. prepare to die. No, wait.. that’s not right.. Hello!  My name is Hot Mess Mom!  I am the sole owner of Hot Mess Events & Entertainment.  I write a blog.  I hold events.  I sell merchandise. One morning in 2012, I got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and said to myself Self? You know what would be funny?  Water bottles with “there’s a chance this is vodka” written on them.  Ha Ha Ha!! You are soooooooo funny! So, I called my printer, ordered a few cases of bottles and had him print them.  My invoice for this order was $1500.   I had no money and no guarantee that they would sell, but I went out on a limb and did it.   … Read entire article »

Filed under: I may be PMSing..., Ramblings, Uncategorized

Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures!

I love blogging. I mean really, really love it. Well, I like it a lot. I enjoy it most of the time. Meh, it’s okay.*shrug* Don’t get me wrong, I do love writing and interacting with everyone in the blogosphere. But there are so many other responsibilities to be taken into consideration, like cleaning the house and making occasional eye contact with my children, that a lot of times I feel pulled in multiple directions. No matter how much you love something, it can get pretty stressful to juggle what you should do, what you want to do, what you’re in the mood to do, and what your spouse wishes you were in the mood to do more often (wink wink, nudge nudge) – all while writing and keeping Child Protective Services at bay. So, on some … Read entire article »

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Summer 2013 Guest Blogging series welcomes the ONE and ONLY… Diary of a Madwoman!!!

‘Mernin’ Hot Messes.  It’s Madwoman here.  The Hot Mess is holding a gun to my head, yelling, “Type, type!   Move your fingers, skinny bitch!” Ahhh.  Just kidding.  I’m here because I’ve got madwoman lurve for her.  When she first asked for a guest post I said, “Are you facking kidding me?  I don’t even post on my own blog anymore?” And that’s why this is perfect, right?  Since the topic she suggested was “My love/hate relationship with my blog.”  At first, I decided to just ignore her.  But then I got scared she was going to tackle me and punch me in the tit at the MILF March in September.  I know her type.  She would pretend she was just really drunk.  She would blame it on being butt-ass drunk. So now I’m … Read entire article »

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Summer 2013 Guest Blogger series welcomes Morgan from The Inklings of Life

  Me & My Blog: A Love/Hate Relationship I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who has a bigger love/hate relationship with their blog than me. Seriously, there are days where I have to grab a glass bottle of wine, shut my computer off and say to hell with things until the morning… or 3 days from then.  So, when HMM asked if I’d like to share my story with her readers, I said ‘Hell Yeah’, for a few reasons: I adore HMM. A huge thanks to her for this opportunity. I’d get to cuss a hell of a lot more on her blog than I normally do on mine… which says something because I’m a tattoo artist turned SAHM, and we have filthy mouths (the tattoo artist part of me, not the … Read entire article »

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I did NOT have a lizard in my vagina. But my friend did.

I am in the car heading to my happy place ( Saint Simons Island).  Checked my Facebook.  There was a status from a friend saying “There was a lizard in my pants at the game” The rest is documented below.  You are welcome;) … Read entire article »

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How to Start a Home Based Disney Vacation Business ~ Sponsored Post

Terri Brown is the owner and founder of The Travel Academy LLC. She works with mothers that want to realize their dream of having their own home based business. As an owner of a travel company since 1993, Terri Brown has been consulting families on Disney vacations for 20 years. She is a mother of two and has raised her children while working full-time in her business. What if you could start a real business at home that allows for you to make more money and spend more time with your family by teaming up with great companies like Disney, Universal, and Sea World to create amazing vacations and get paid to send people to the “happiest place on Earth?” As the founder of The Travel Academy and creator of the Orlando Vacation … Read entire article »

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Ketch{ing}up with Old Dog New Tits

  My favorite cocktail in 57 words or less? Really? Vodka. Sometimes whiskey. The end. … Read entire article »

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“there’s a chance” I’m in hell. Need your help.. For realz..

  Need some help.. Seriously.. let’s call it Market research I was going to do a poll on FB but I have too many caveats..  Please comment/respond as HONESTLY as possible!!  I want your feedback on this… IF you purchased a “there’s a chance this is vodka” Water bottle or if you have intentions of doing so in the future… I’m talking to you!      I’m working financials and need to streamline this process.. it’s killing me! Bottom Line:  I shipped 3 fucktons of bottles from October til today.  That is a lot of fucktons.  I want to keep the price at $15 if possible and not raise it.  HOWEVER.. the single bottle orders are killing me in time, supplies, labels, printer ink, etc.   I am going to have to raise the … Read entire article »

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