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Hot Mess Mom » Tuesdays with Gooley

Gooley’s take on the Million Milf March…

IT WAS THAT DAMN GOOD….   Where do I begin? I have been writing this post in my brain all day and have come to the conclusion that what went down over the weekend with 200+ kindred spirits in New Orleans is impossible to fully express  with words and pictures. It was beautiful. It was REAL. It was UNBELIEVABLY FUN!!!!!!!!!! (every exclamation mark is important) Quite frankly, it was the best getaway weekend of my life. Thank you, HMM….my friend and alt-universe cartoon world soul mate. You are a force majeure (BB helped with spelling.)  I’m in awe of your magnetism and now know why we have re-united…cuz it feels so good. (Yeah – I just dropped a Peaches and Herb reference on y’all.) I’m still reeling, a bit discombobulated, and oddly energetic on this … Read entire article »

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Tuesday with Gooley~~ episode 26

Jukebox Jethro – NOT a hero.   So I bought a six string At a second hand store Didn’t know how to play it But I knew for sure… …that apparently I’m still in the midst of a midlife crisis and somehow trust that learning guitar will magically transform me into a complete and balanced individual – a perma-smiled and ponytailed happy hippiefreak. I’ll play at coffee houses and street corners – guitar case open for donations.  Just me, my guitar, and a lifetime supply of granola. Oh, Big Balls would be my road manager. It will be fantastic. Life off grid and by the seat of our pants. That was part and parcel the imagery swirling in my brain when BB and I walked into the used guitar shop. He promised to buy me a guitar … Read entire article »

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Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 25

{disclaimer:  I am NOT Gooley..  On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts.  These are HIS stories.  His life. His Antics.  Every other post on this blog is written by me.  EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley”  Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his..  I am clean and I smell good} Conundrum.   I’m on my porch late Monday night ruminating while overly concerned about what to write about. This mommy blog experience continues to fascinate. I’m having a difficult time in this moment to believe that my life and experiences are in any way interesting. Then my mind asks the question, “Is it my life that is interesting or the writing that makes it so?” And then I bitchslap myself for even asking such a douchesque question. That’s my intro. For whatever … Read entire article »

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Gooley on TRUTH

TRUTH   I’ll assume everyone read Boo’s guest post. If you haven’t, DO IT, and drift back when you are done. It points toward, pinches, and punches at everything important and meaningful in life – from my perspective anyway. I’ll make a few assumptions and take liberties here based on what I read directly and between the lines of Boo’s truth; for I saw myself and my process more clearly while reading her words. I imagine anyone reading her brave contribution sees themselves and their own vulnerabilities as well. Maybe you felt a bit lighter knowing that you are not alone. Why? Well, something beautiful – even powerful – happens when witnessing someone availing their vulnerability. The bigger part of you KNOWS how difficult this is and that bigger part of you – the … Read entire article »

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Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 24

  Random Splooge And now, another episode of Tuesday with Gooley. Problem is – I got nothing! If you are even tuning in after Sundays unfortunate discloser, than you deserve a medal. It took almost a half-bottle of cheap vodka and a full bottle of good wine to release that from the dark parts of my psyche. I reread it the next morning and had a similar reaction to many of you. One part interesting to two parts disturbing – Shaken then splooged.  I do however feel better having told the tale. It is friggin’ hilarious…right? Anyhoo… This episode will be Seinfeldesque. – a blog about nothing. A blog about nothing more than what pops into my noggin as related to events prescient. Perhaps this is apropos as I fancy myself the Kramer of HMM; … Read entire article »

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Gooley’s thoughts on urine, ratatouille and wine.

  Piss…a retrospective, OK people, its Friday night and I’ve had a fewish cocktails and a really good bottle of wine…with Big Balls. It’s important to encapsulate the following with an economy of words as my stomach can only handle so much.  I will tiptoe into this gently. Tonight I cooked. Don’t snicker or judge. As a matter of fact, you all can bite me because I am a damn good cook. Ratatouille with homegrown vegetables over quinoa pasta topped with Reggiano Parmesan. On the side? Spicy chicken sausage browned slightly and then simmered just enough to remain moist; this after appetizers of pate and triple cream brie. The wine? A fortunate find from the local hippie market – a Chilean Carmenere that complimented my creation with adulation. In other words – fucking brilliant. Now … Read entire article »

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Gooley is stepping up. Class, meet your substitute teacher.

I’m so fucking benevolent. Yeah, I truly am. While Miss Messy Pants assembles the down and dirty soirée in New Orleans in a couple weeks…while raising kids and such, I made a grand unselfish gesture. I decided to take valuable time away from my busy schedule of going to the gym, enjoying cocktails, napping, and pretending to be a farmer to spit out a few more posts to entertain you all. That’s right…I’ll be your substitute teacher for a couple of weeks. I will offend you. I will make you squirm. I will not edit much. I will Mommy Blog my ass off over the next few weeks, and then meet a lot of you so you can congratulate me for being such a wonderful human being. Please feel free to buy me drinks. I … Read entire article »

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Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 23

{disclaimer:  I am NOT Gooley..  On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts.  These are HIS stories.  His life. His Antics.  Every other post on this blog is written by me.  EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley”  Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his..  I am clean and I smell good} Death, Dying, and the Meaning of Life… Suck it Monty Python. Late Monday….Few ideas…so, let’s talk about death and dying. Hooray!!! I know. WTF? The truth is the subject fascinates me. The experience fascinates. Having witnessed several close family members slowly die of cancer, fascinated me. I have evolved an almost enthusiastic view of dying. Weird huh?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to get all Kevorkian here. It’s just that I have seen the cycle and accept the inevitable. … Read entire article »

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Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 22

{disclaimer:  I am NOT Gooley..  On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts.  These are HIS stories.  His life. His Antics.  Every other post on this blog is written by me.  EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley”  Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his..  I am clean and I smell good} Big Balls… An expose   There is a reason BB and I moved to the middle of nowhere on 50 acres. True, there are practical reasons as well as an inner calling to live more simply. These are the reasons we expand on when we are in mixed company. There are many reasons actually, but one important reason is that we are no longer fit for society. Society is far safer with our weirdness tucked away on a hill protected … Read entire article »

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Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 21

{disclaimer:  I am NOT Gooley..  On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts.  These are HIS stories.  His life. His Antics.  Every other post on this blog is written by me.  EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley”  Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his..  I am clean and I smell good} 25th High School Reunion   Well, all of my whining and negative future fantasy about how terrible my high school reunion was going to be proved to be silly. I had a great time and reconnected with great people. I was also on my best behavior…mostly. I even upped my grooming game to a new level. Not only did I get a haircut and shave and shower every day, but I wore layers of deodorant….of course I forgot mine but … Read entire article »

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