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Hot Mess Mom » Ramblings

Why being a bad “parent” makes me a good “mom”

  Admittedly, I’m never going to be in the running for Parent of the Year.  Never, ever, EVER going to happen.  Ever.  {ever} Sometimes my house is a mess.  Sometimes I forget to pay the bills and services get disconnected. Sometimes my kids come home from school to a messy house without power.  Or cable.  Or without power AND cable. Sometimes, when my kids beg to sleep in or play hooky, I let them. Sometimes I feed them bushels of fruits and veggies. Sometimes I feed them processed foods. Sometimes I even feed them GMO’s. Sometimes I don’t register them for sports in time and they don’t get on the “right” team. Sometimes I don’t register them for sports at all because the game/ practice schedules are conflicting with our vacation plans. Sometimes I wake up early and make … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Featured, Ramblings, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

I am BLESSED and I don’t care who knows it.

  I just returned from a weekend in New York City with my first born. It was an incredible few days.  Truly, one of those weekends that many can only dream of.  I am blessed. There.  I said it.  I am BLESSED.  Change “blessed” to lucky, fortunate, or any other word of your choosing.  THAT is how I feel and THAT is what I am. Every minute of every day I am grateful.  I am grateful for the things that I have earned and the things that I have been given.  I am grateful for plain, dumb luck. This blog (and specifically the Facebook page that accompanies it) has grown exponentially over the past few months.   While posting on Facebook this weekend, many times I wrote, and subsequently erased, the word “Blessed”.  I could … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ramblings

To blog or to Facebook? That is the question….

  New Year, New resolutions, New blog post. Same bullshit. In addition to my normal “let me be better” goals of lose weight, exercise more, drink less, don’t smoke, blah blah blah….  I REALLY do want to get to back to writing on the blog on a semi-regular basis (ie: weekly). But here’s the rub.   Writing on the blog is kind of a pain in the ass. Let me e’splain…  No, it’s too much…  Let me sum up .. I need access to a computer.   I’m a busy bee.  I’m not home that often.   I have a smartphone.  Updating a Facebook status with my thumbs is easy.  It’s quick.  It’s painless.  It offers immediate gratification. I do not run diagnostics on either my Facebook page or the blog.  I should, but I don’t.  I … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings

There’s a chance THIS IS MINE!!! {half explanation and half angry rant}

  Hello!! My name Inigo Montoya, you kill my father.. prepare to die. No, wait.. that’s not right.. Hello!  My name is Hot Mess Mom!  I am the sole owner of Hot Mess Events & Entertainment.  I write a blog.  I hold events.  I sell merchandise. One morning in 2012, I got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and said to myself Self? You know what would be funny?  Water bottles with “there’s a chance this is vodka” written on them.  Ha Ha Ha!! You are soooooooo funny! So, I called my printer, ordered a few cases of bottles and had him print them.  My invoice for this order was $1500.   I had no money and no guarantee that they would sell, but I went out on a limb and did it.   … Read entire article »

Filed under: I may be PMSing..., Ramblings, Uncategorized

And NOW I’m a couponer. Sort of.

  Coupons.  Coupons make me crazy.  I am not a fan.  I mean, I WANT to be a fan.. I WANT to use coupons..I WANT to save money.. but I’m just not that organized.  The idea of sitting at the kitchen table with the Sunday paper and a pair of scissors gives me anxiety.   The times that I have actually attempted to clip coupons, I wind up “saving money” on products that I would never normally buy, therefore don’t normally use, therefore waste $5 in order to “save” $2. That all being said, I have three boys.  Three big, hungry, disgusting boys.  My weekly grocery bill is over $300 and that doesn’t include alcohol!  I do my best to shop “BOGO” specials when available, and normally see about a 15% savings … Read entire article »

Filed under: Products & Reviews, Ramblings

Life has gotten in the way, and I’m sorry.

  Where to begin, where to begin??? First of all, you guys must hate me.  Or, if you already hated me, then you probably love me ‘cuz I am NOT writing.   Remember when I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a blogger who actually BLOGGED?  Hot Mess Mom was more than just a Facebook page.  It’s not anymore.  Not really.  And I hate that. I have legitimate excuses to explain my lack of quality time with my laptop.  I do.  Flood in the house.  2 months of living in a gutted house and through a semi-renovation.  No internet during a portion of that time.  End of school responsibilities.  Vacation.  Doctors appointments. Life. Life has gotten in the way.  And it sucks.  (Not my life, my life is awesome.. but … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome

Tilers and plumbers and floorers…Oh my! (alternate title: My stupid day)

  If you don’t follow me on Facebook, then you are probably wondering why I haven’t posted in so long.  If you do follow you, you have no questions. Apparently, we had some “water damage” and my entire house is gutted.  No floors, no furniture, huge drying fans,etc.  It’s been almost 3 weeks.  Floor is still wet.  It’s not a super situation. I’m lucky to be dealing with a great group of contractors/ sub contractors/ laborers.  They probably don’t consider themselves quite as lucky to be dealing with me. Anyhoo, I can’t even get into the specifics.. just know that my house is a complete and total clusterfuck and for every one issue we know about, we find another that was hidden. Today, someone is here demolishing my shower.  Now 5 of us have to … Read entire article »

Filed under: Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome

I think “life lesson”, my boys think “homeless man’s toilet water”

Soooo… I’m driving home with my boys tonight and an old Cheryl Crow song comes on..  I, like always, .. give them a little background of the artist and why I love them… Me: And also.. when I was bar-tending downtown, there was this homeless man whom I loved.  He was batshit crazy.. Like, really crazy.  But I loved him.  Sometimes when you work in a city, you either take the same train, same subway or walk the same streets.. and you see the same homeless people day after day.. you can ignore them or talk to them.  I ignored some, and talked to some..  This man.. he called himself  Dr. John..   I talked to all of the time.  I gave him money, I bought him food, I bought him drinks, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ramblings, Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Zits. HMM style

The 2 Carat Princess had quite a blemish going on this week. I was fairly unforgiving about it. I had to explain to everyone that I was not being mean… well, not really mean.. I kept telling her that I thought a spider had laid eggs in her face and when she popped that bad boy, hundreds of baby spiders were going to spill out. As Karma generally does… I (who almost never get zits) got 2 the next day. One was little. One was not. I went to my parents tonight for dinner. (Let’s keep in mind that I am 40 years old) My Mom: What’s on your face?? Me: It’s a zit, Mom. My Mom: Oh my God.. then yells to my sister Go get an extra chair! D brought a friend to dinner… And … Read entire article »

Filed under: Ramblings, Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome

10 things my masseuse says to me that make me think I may be at the wrong “massage parlor”

  I have some back issues.  Well, I have lots of issues, but in addition to the ones you already know about, I have some serious back and neck problems.  I get massages regularly.  Before you get jealous… my massages aren’t the “oohhhh, aahhhh…  wake me up when it’s over” type..   They are of the “this is gonna leave a mark” and “I hope I don’t cry today” variety. My current masseuse is a phenom.  Truly.  She’s strong as a damn ox.  I’ve been going to her for a while now.  She’s extremely professional but now that she is very familiar with all of my problem areas, and I mean ALL….. we exchange a little more dialogue. Here’s a sampling. lay down face first oh my God.. I can’t believe how tight you are. I … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings