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Halloween~ it’s my favorite

Halloween~ it’s my favorite

  I love Halloween.  LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween.  I love the decorations, I love the candy, I love the weather.  I LOVE HALLOWEEN.  My kids also love Halloween, as all kids do.  Of course, they love the candy but I don’t let them keep much of it.  If it’s in the house, I’m the one who eats it, not them, marking the beginning of my annual 10 pound winter weight gain.  Generally they get to pick 20-25 pieces to … Read entire article »

Filed under: Antics, Family, Grown-up time, Stellar Parenting Advice

Amazon really does have EVERYTHING

  I online shop for everything.  EVERYTHING.  Clothes, shoes, gifts, whatever.  I order from Amazon daily.  Toothbrushes, deoderant, gluten-free foods, paper, school supplies, haircare, anything.  It’s free shipping and I hate running errands so Amazon and I are BFF’s. Last night was homecoming at our local high school.  My girls came over to show me their dresses, hair , etc…   Their hair was so beautiful..  I asked the 16 year old to show me how to make my hair like that.  She showed me the ‘wand’ and how to use it. This morning I logged onto Amazon to purchase a hair wand.   I typed in “wand” in the Health & Beauty department.  Apparently you really can buy ANYTHING on Amazon.  Wow.  (Click on the image to enlarge)   … Read entire article »

Filed under: Grown-up time

Girls’ Weekend- Take 2

  Last year, shortly after the blog began, I wrote a post title I Like Women attempting to express both my surprise and gratitude at the number of women in my adult life who I am blessed enough to call true friends. A few days later, these women and I went on our girl’s trip to a beautiful cabin on 35 private acres in the Georgia Mountains. It was awesome. So  I wrote THIS.  And then THIS.  Now… exactly one year later… here we go again.  15 women…. celebrating our collective 40th birthdays together.  If you haven’t  “Liked” Hot Mess Mom on Facebook yet, now would be a good time… The ridiculous that will ensue over the next few days will be worth the price of admission.  Promise 😉   where to get steroids … Read entire article »

Filed under: Grown-up time, Travel, Uncategorized

25 things I would rather do than hear/see one more minute of Lindsay Lohan

  be anally violated by a walrus lick my dog’s asshole have another baby get lice get CRAB lice eat gum from under a table lick the floor of the subway be run over by the subway have a period that lasts a year gain 70 pounds clean the boys’ bathroom be a sister wife watch Toddlers & Tiaras pet a rat.  (with my vagina). lay on top of a motel bedspread wear skinny jeans watch reality television have lunch with Mariah Carey live in a trailer park have inflatable Christmas decorations in my yard have a colostomy bag drink from a colostomy bag have sex with Justin Bieber work out Be haunted by Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson; be forever sprayed with White Diamonds and serenaded with ‘The Girl is Mine’, all the while being ass raped by Richard Burton & Eddie Fisher.   PLEASE.. someone…  get her OFF of my televison.  PLEASE.   {oh, and click … Read entire article »

Filed under: Grown-up time, Things that are NOT awesome

Million MILF March- The People

  I’m having a hard time finding a starting point to write about this weekend.   There was just so much.  i am physically exhausted.  I am emotionally drained.  I am overwhelmed (once again).  I am super happy and I keep crying. I’m in the middle of an emotional orgasm.  I need to get it all out. I’m going to write about the weekend in pieces.  Otherwise, it’ll never happen. So…  today..   the people. There were over 200 women at the Million MILF March from all over the country & Canada.  I knew fewer than 50 of them prior to this event.  People came in small groups, ,large groups, and a few brave souls came alone. I assumed that most people who would attend an event called the Million MILF March hosted by a blogger called Hot Mess … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Grown-up time, Million MILF March

September 8th- thru the years

  September 8th is my birthday.  I won’t be writing that day- I’ll be at the Million MIlf March.  But I’ve been thinking about it.  So I’ll share a few things with you while they are in my head. The significant September 8th’s of my life (as far as I can remember)   1972- I was born 1980- 8 yrs old.   I got my first boom box and cassette tapes~~ Neon Nights, Donna Summer, and the Fame soundtrack. 1987- 15 yrs old.  Started working at a carwash.  ON my birthday.. the day I turned 15.  Could not wait to have a job. 1988-16 yrs old.  Started working at Publix.  ON my birthday…the day I turned 16.  Could not wait to get out of that carwash. 1990- 18 yrs old.  First fraternity party.  The very same fraternity that led me to Gooley … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Grown-up time

Marijuana : Merlot… is there really a difference?

  This article was posted on this morning.  Pot smoking moms tired of being judged by wine drinkers?   It is a great article and makes lots of excellent points. I will leave it to you to read the article and won’t spend time going through all of the data and opinions. I drink wine. I have smoked pot; although not as an adult. Alcohol and marijuana are both used to self medicate. Both are used to “take the edge off” Some people cannot drink.  Some people do not want to drink. I get it. My only problem with parents who smoke pot is this.. ( and..honestly, I’m not judging.. I’m just saying….) Marijuana is illegal.  It shouldn’t be, but it is. Engaging in illegal activity of any sort is irresponsible. I drink alcohol.   I do not drive after drinking.  That would … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Grown-up time

80’s night.. the photographs.. ;)

  I should say..once again.. that I LOVED the 80’s the first time around.  And now… 30 years and 40 pounds later~~ I continue to love them every chance I get.     … Read entire article »

Filed under: Grown-up time

One of my stranger text conversations. aka: Do you label(l) underwear for camp?

Possibly one of the wierdest text conversations I’ve eve had..  And I’ve had some bizarre ones… I still don’t understand the whole “no name in the underwear” rule…  thoughts? … Read entire article »

Filed under: Drunk Blogging, Grown-up time, Ramblings

I’m taking the day off

  This is barely a post… it’s really more of an extended Facebook update.   I apologize for that. I’ve been crazy overwhelmed with the planning, sponsorships and general organization of the Million Milf March .   Like, perpetual stomach ache.. developing an ulcer, can’t sleep overwhelmed.     Add to that the general “mommy responsibilities” that come with the end of the school year– parties, yearbooks, field trips, class gifts, tests, etc.   And then add to THAT my job as room mom (for 3 flipping classes) and other classroom volunteer obligations and PTA duties….   and I have been a total stressed out grouchy mess. That being said… I made yesterday my BITCH.  Totally.   Got 3 huge projects completed and off of my plate.  Confirmed the major sponsors for the Million Milf March and finalized the budget and projected expense.   And … Read entire article »

Filed under: Grown-up time