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Hot Mess Mom » Family

Rocket boots should NEVER be confused with a jet- pack. Just sayin’

  Driving home last night with Numbers One (almost 13) and Three (9).   Their conversation went a little like this: One: If I win the lottery, I gonna buy an Aston Martin.  And then I’m gonna trick it out with crazy rims and a wild paint job. Me:  Please stop talking. Three:  Why? Me:  Because I’ve tried very hard to not raise trashbags and it’s clear to me that I’ve failed miserably. One:  Okay.. So, instead of rims on a $300,000 car..  I’m gonna get a race horse, and a jet pack and the jet pack will be powerful and the horse will be so fast that we will be able to fly all over the world.  Flying around the world on a turbo-jet-pack horse is WAY COOLER than a plane. Three:  Your horse’s tail is … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

I think “life lesson”, my boys think “homeless man’s toilet water”

Soooo… I’m driving home with my boys tonight and an old Cheryl Crow song comes on..  I, like always, .. give them a little background of the artist and why I love them… Me: And also.. when I was bar-tending downtown, there was this homeless man whom I loved.  He was batshit crazy.. Like, really crazy.  But I loved him.  Sometimes when you work in a city, you either take the same train, same subway or walk the same streets.. and you see the same homeless people day after day.. you can ignore them or talk to them.  I ignored some, and talked to some..  This man.. he called himself  Dr. John..   I talked to all of the time.  I gave him money, I bought him food, I bought him drinks, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ramblings, Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Number Two’s Birthday Extravaganza

  Number Two is 10.  I’m not sure how this happened.  I’m not one to lament over the “baby days”.. I like my boys just as they are.  But Number One will be a TEENAGER this year and Number Two is double digits…. Number Three is only 15 months behind that…  In another 2 years I won’t even have “boys”… I’ll have “tweens” and a “teen”.  ugh. I tend to go overboard with birthdays.  When they were younger, I’d have ridiculously elaborate parties.  As they got a bit older, they got a choice between a weekend at a resort or a party.  Numbers One & Three always choose the resort.  Number Two always chooses a party.  His best friend lives across the street , is the same age, and has the same … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family, Travel

We’re 14 years into this thing.. No quitting now… Happy Anniversary Seven;)

Happy 14th Anniversary to Seven..  April 10, 1999.  I was 26.  He was 31.  We’ve come a long way baby..     geneza pharmaceuticals legit … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family

March- A pictorial

MARCH 2013- A pictorial 😉 March, as you know.. was a BIG Month.. New Orleans, Savannah and Saint Simons Island. And 6 pounds gained.. Here is the pictorial in no certain order.. Worth every ounce 😉     … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family, Travel

I’m not a team player

  As I posted last week, I’ve hired a cleaning service.  I’m pretty fracking happy about it too. Returning to my uber clean house the other day reminded me of our first house.  And our first maid.  The maid that Seven didn’t know we had. The story goes a little something like this: Seven & I both worked full time.   We had two kids under 2 1/2.   We had enough money to pay our bills, but nothing extra.  I was so busy, I was so tired…  I worked days and he worked til 11 at night.  We saw each other a few hours a week. I hired a maid.  She came on Wednesday afternoons when I went to my parents for dinner.  She scrubbed the shit out of my house.. It was ridiculously … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family

This is how Seven & I fight

  Seven & I bicker all of the time.  We are both sarcastic and snarky with a little mean mixed in for good measure.  We don’t FIGHT a lot, we argue occasionally, but mostly it’s bickering where one or both of us is giggling throughout. Yesterday, however, we ARGUED.  Please bear witness to our argument. Scene:  I’m in the middle of a fucktillion things and trying to get showered and out of the house before the maids come.  Seven calls..“Hey, the sprinkler guy is on his way over there, you need to show him where everything is”    Assuming that Seven is at his office 45 minutes away, I said “Shit.. okay.. let me go.. I’ve got to jump in the shower and finish up my shipments before the ladies come”    I did … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family

March- in an eggshell

  March has been a big month.  I’ve travel, eaten and drank through New Orleans, Savannah and Saint Simons.  We’ve had family birthdays, school events and Spring Break.  I’ve spent a shitton of money and gained a shitton of weight.   I’ll be posting “March- A pictorial” soon. Today is Easter.  The last day of the month.  The holiest day of the year. Whilst at Sunrise service this morning, I was seated next to an elderly gentleman who required assistance getting up and down from his chair during the mass.  At one point, when I bent down to help him, my button on my pants popped.  And flew out to the chair in front of me. So, while I am feeling blessed and at peace and happy that this month is nearly over so … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family, Things that are NOT awesome

Extreme Easter Egg Hunting~ Original Post date 4/8/12

I have a sister.  She is 2 years younger than me.  Every Easter  when we were little, our parents had an Easter egg hunt for us.  When we got to college, they continued to hide eggs.  Filled with money. The egg hunt at my parents house is famous.  Any boyfriend, roommate, friend or relative that has ever spent Easter with our family remembers the egg hunt. My sister was an SEC collegiate athlete.  I prefer a glass of wine to exercise.  The minute she sees me move towards a spotted egg, she comes in for the kill.  She’s fast and she’s strong.   I am neither.   She’s a Bitch.  Our egg hunts are knock-down drag-out fights.  Some eggs have a quarter.  Some have a 20-dollar bill.   Others have everything in between.   Some years my dad … Read entire article »

Filed under: Antics, Family

‘cuz “heck” is a bad word

  My oldest niece (8) is a pleaser.  She does everything right, would never get in trouble, and is basically the sweetest thing on Earth. My sister just sent me this recap of their morning conversation: Is fuck a bad word? What? Fuck WHAT? FUCK.  Is fuck a bad word?  Yes.  That is a REALLY bad word.  Who said it? Me.  Who??? Me. When?? Why?? At  the playground.   I know HECK is a bad word so I said FUCK instead.  I’m sorry.    … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family