Articles Comments

Hot Mess Mom » Family

Everything that I never knew I wanted.

  In 2004, when my husband began traveling extensively for work, my world was turned upside down.  With three sons under 4 years old, we had always shared the parenting responsibilities.  We both worked full time jobs and had scheduled our work hours accordingly.  I worked from 7am – 3pm while he took care of the children.  He worked from 3pm – 11pm while I did.  {Occasionally we even got to sleep!} Our offices were close to one another and we met every day to do the “hand off”. My husband has always been a great dad.  Back then, he was also a great mom.   He had the day shift.  He made pancakes, changed diapers, got them all dressed and almost daily took them on an outing..  the park, the Science Center, the … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Uncategorized

Why being a bad “parent” makes me a good “mom”

  Admittedly, I’m never going to be in the running for Parent of the Year.  Never, ever, EVER going to happen.  Ever.  {ever} Sometimes my house is a mess.  Sometimes I forget to pay the bills and services get disconnected. Sometimes my kids come home from school to a messy house without power.  Or cable.  Or without power AND cable. Sometimes, when my kids beg to sleep in or play hooky, I let them. Sometimes I feed them bushels of fruits and veggies. Sometimes I feed them processed foods. Sometimes I even feed them GMO’s. Sometimes I don’t register them for sports in time and they don’t get on the “right” team. Sometimes I don’t register them for sports at all because the game/ practice schedules are conflicting with our vacation plans. Sometimes I wake up early and make … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Featured, Ramblings, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

I am BLESSED and I don’t care who knows it.

  I just returned from a weekend in New York City with my first born. It was an incredible few days.  Truly, one of those weekends that many can only dream of.  I am blessed. There.  I said it.  I am BLESSED.  Change “blessed” to lucky, fortunate, or any other word of your choosing.  THAT is how I feel and THAT is what I am. Every minute of every day I am grateful.  I am grateful for the things that I have earned and the things that I have been given.  I am grateful for plain, dumb luck. This blog (and specifically the Facebook page that accompanies it) has grown exponentially over the past few months.   While posting on Facebook this weekend, many times I wrote, and subsequently erased, the word “Blessed”.  I could … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ramblings

There’s a hole in my bucket list.

  Last night, the boys and I were hanging on the couch, watching Duck Dynasty, when out of nowhere Number Two (10) asks “Mom, what’s on your bucket list?” Of course I giggled and asked what he knows of bucket lists.  Surprisingly he knew exactly what a bucket list was and insisted that we discuss mine. Hmmm.. Let me think…  {silence} Mom! There have to be things you want to do! But I DO stuff!! When I want to do something, I DO it!  I mean, there are places I want to go.. LOTS of places I want to travel to… but nothing that I absolutely have to do before I die. Mom.. Seriously? Dude..  I’ve jumped out of an airplane.  I’ve worked on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska.  I’ve hiked a glacier.  I’ve been to … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family, Stellar Parenting Advice

How to throw a Viking funeral for a hermit crab

  FINALLY!- An answer to the age old question… “How does one throw a Viking funeral for a hermit crab that has been eviscerated by his fellow hermit crabs?”   I know… if you had a nickel for everytime someone has asked you that exact question….. right?   Well, here you go.  You can thank me later.   STEP ONE:   Decide upon clothing for such an austere event.   STEP TWO:  Consider if that is really the best you an do.  If not, adjust accordingly. STEP THREE:  Make a photo collage to post on Facebook so the entire interweb knows how in sync your family is.  STEP FOUR:  Arrange transportation for the casket to the funeral grounds. STEP FIVE:  Invite guests who will arrive with freshly baked banana bread so you can, once again, feed your sorrow with … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family

Mom, I miss you.

  When I began this parenting adventure, I had a full-time job that required some travel and my husband traveled full-time.  We had 3 boys in 3 1/2 years.  We had a part-time nanny and two full-time day care centers.   Life was crazy and was tackled one day at a time. In 2009, I left the work force and became a SAHM to my 8, 6, and 4 year old sons. Our life is amazing.  It’s hectic and messy and sticky and stinky and we love every second of it. If you follow Hot Mess Mom at all, you ,know what an active family we are.  We take about a dozen trips each year.  We have “afternoon adventures” and “mommy/son dates”. We lay on top of each other like cats to watch movies.  We … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family

Dear Teenager, Is that an iPhone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  I’m a mother of boys.  I’m a friend of boys.  I’m married to a boy.  I understand boys.  I  like boys.. even the gross and bad parts..  I’m a “Boy’s Girl”. In addition to my affinity for the opposite sex, I consider myself to be a very socially liberal person.  No prudishness here.. no sirree. My boys ask about body parts, I tell them.  Babies?  I tell them.  Sex?  What do you want to know?  I tell them.   I talk to my kids about EVERYTHING.. the good, the bad, the difficult and the very ugly. They bleed, I don’t faint.  They get injured, I don’t cry.  The leave a big huge shit in the toilet without flushing, I yell and then I flush it. I am UN-RATTLEABLE. Except for when I find porn on … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Rocket boots should NEVER be confused with a jet- pack. Just sayin’

  Driving home last night with Numbers One (almost 13) and Three (9).   Their conversation went a little like this: One: If I win the lottery, I gonna buy an Aston Martin.  And then I’m gonna trick it out with crazy rims and a wild paint job. Me:  Please stop talking. Three:  Why? Me:  Because I’ve tried very hard to not raise trashbags and it’s clear to me that I’ve failed miserably. One:  Okay.. So, instead of rims on a $300,000 car..  I’m gonna get a race horse, and a jet pack and the jet pack will be powerful and the horse will be so fast that we will be able to fly all over the world.  Flying around the world on a turbo-jet-pack horse is WAY COOLER than a plane. Three:  Your horse’s tail is … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

I think “life lesson”, my boys think “homeless man’s toilet water”

Soooo… I’m driving home with my boys tonight and an old Cheryl Crow song comes on..  I, like always, .. give them a little background of the artist and why I love them… Me: And also.. when I was bar-tending downtown, there was this homeless man whom I loved.  He was batshit crazy.. Like, really crazy.  But I loved him.  Sometimes when you work in a city, you either take the same train, same subway or walk the same streets.. and you see the same homeless people day after day.. you can ignore them or talk to them.  I ignored some, and talked to some..  This man.. he called himself  Dr. John..   I talked to all of the time.  I gave him money, I bought him food, I bought him drinks, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Dear Diary, Family, Ramblings, Stellar Parenting Advice, Things that are NOT awesome, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent

Number Two’s Birthday Extravaganza

  Number Two is 10.  I’m not sure how this happened.  I’m not one to lament over the “baby days”.. I like my boys just as they are.  But Number One will be a TEENAGER this year and Number Two is double digits…. Number Three is only 15 months behind that…  In another 2 years I won’t even have “boys”… I’ll have “tweens” and a “teen”.  ugh. I tend to go overboard with birthdays.  When they were younger, I’d have ridiculously elaborate parties.  As they got a bit older, they got a choice between a weekend at a resort or a party.  Numbers One & Three always choose the resort.  Number Two always chooses a party.  His best friend lives across the street , is the same age, and has the same … Read entire article »

Filed under: Family, Travel