Because it’s not enough to put my own children in therapy.

I took my 5 year old neice shopping with me today.  I had to run into Marshall’s for a baby doll ( it’s Vodka Baby time!). 

Nanan, what are we getting here?

I need to get a baby doll

Why?

Because I need to make something with it.

Are you going to take it apart?

{looking around store nonchalantly… ingoring her}..  

Nanan!  Are you going to take it apart?

Yes.

Are you going to take the head off like you did to that other one?

What other one?

The doll that I saw at your house with no legs and no head.

Oh.  You saw that?

Yes.

Then yes. 

We made our way to the baby doll aisle.   I started picking up dolls (cuz you know I have to make sure the head is decapitatable) .    One of the dolls started giggling. 

Oh Nanan!  Please don’t use a doll that talks!   If you have to take a doll apart, then use one that doesn’t talk.

{giggling}  okay…   {sneaking a talking baby into the cart}

I see that talking baby doll in there.

shit.

Are you gonna put it back?

No.   You want me to buy you a new dress and maybe some shoes?

YES!!! Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!!  

Okay..  let’s go pick something..  

{sigh}… bullet dodged until tonight when she remembers about that talking doll.   

Update:  My mom called and said she had both of my neices and the 5 year old was telling the 8 year old  “and THEN Nanan bought a baby doll so she can cut the head off of it.  And she bought my dress”