I started to write a lengthy reply to a first time reader, then decided to make this a post.
Let me begin by saying that HMM truly has such amazing readers.. sometimes it is overwhelming. You all are wonderful. And not ass-kissing wonderful… just honest and supportive and appreciative and strong and just fricking awesome.
I read every single comment on HMM and try to reply to most of them. You guys make me laugh, make me smile, and sometimes give me a little eye water….
I woke up this morning to this comment from a first time reader:
This was the first “mom blog” I have ever read. Truthfully, I never thought I would “need” or “want” to search the Internet for women who feel as overwhelmed as I do (I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old–both boys, and I work full time). Judgmental, I know, but I’m still learning. Lately I have been feeling like just about everyone I know who has little kids denies that it is as hard as I say it is. I have one work friend, however, who I never EVER see without a caffeinated beverage in her hand–usually in a porcelain mug from home, who gets it. Thank God for her. And thank God for this blog and that other one about how getting married and making babies is hard. I hate to sound like a broken record, but they both made me cry. Finally! The truth!!! Not that those other moms are lying, but come on, it’s not always sweetness and light when you’re a new parent. Anyhow, thanks. I don’t feel like such a failure today. And I don’t feel like maybe I just have “tough kids.” And maybe mom blogging isn’t so silly after all.
And THEN.. a few hours later.. I recieved THIS:
Hi there, so I read your blog religiously. But my dumb ass couldn’t figure out how to send you a message on there for the whole world to see… Maybe you really can’t. I dunno, whatever. Anywhoo, I just wanted to say thank you. Im 25 years old, work full time, and am a single momma to a 13 month old little girl. She rocks my world but also scares the shit out of me. I’ve been alone the whole time, and I’m ok with that. I see happy couples doing this thing,and I think, “Wow, I bet with a partner who gives a crap this parenting thing would be a full time party” Obviously I know thats not really true, but man, it looks awesome having help. I look at it like Im lucky that I dont have to share the bragging rights on how awesome my little is. She’s all mine, I am doing this myself. I digress…
A few months ago I was really down in the dumps, pissed about my mom body, felt like no one wanted me, and that I would be alone forever. When my daughter does cool shit, or is super sweet or is sick and just needs a lot of lovin, I wish there were someone there to share it all with. Im a DIYer and love to craft and read. So I googled mom blogs and found you on top mommy blogs. I look at life differently. You gave me the self esteem boost to love being me. Im a snarky, ridiculous bitch. And I fancy myself to be the hot tattoo’d soccer mom. Its fun, and I love it. And you’ve given me the push to start looking at life again, get out of my spit up covered clothes (which I love just as much as the slinky tank top and tight torn up jeans) and look around me.
This was probably an incoherent mess. Hopefully you get the message. I love the blog, and you my dear, are the bees knees. Thanks for being so fucking fabulous
I have so much to say to this… and not just to these ladies, but to all of you in similar situations.
I am a very honest and very strong person. I always have been.. however, I had no idea that I was such a mess back then.. I mean, I knew I was a mess.. I smelled like spit up and my clothes were wrinkled and I was exhausted and overwhelmed. But I didn’t know how far underwater I was. I really didn’t. You all searching out support because you feel lost and knowing~ while in the thick of it~ that you are struggling, is more than I ever could have done back then. So, I commend you.. I really do. You are years ahead of where I was at that time just by saying the words “I am lost”.
As far as blogging.. I’ve said it before.. when I started HMM, I had never read a blog. EVER.. Hot Mess Mom began as an extension of my Facebook account really.. My life is silly. I travel a lot. My kids are hilarious and also assholes. HMM was to be nothing but a forum for the funny and ridiculous stories of my life.
In those first few months, I wrote my ass off… mostly quick anecdotal tales, sometimes more.
The gist of both posts is that, regardless of anything else, I am writing for ME.. Hot Mess Mom is for ME. Me, Me, Me, Me.
I think that has changed. I think now I write for YOU. Whether it is to make you laugh, cringe or feel better about your life… YOU are in my mind when I write. Sometimes, something happens and I think to myself.. I won’t write that.. it’s not funny. Then days later, I think.. it may not be funny, but maybe people want to know that non-funny, mundane, and aggravating shit goes on in my life daily. So then I write.
I’m evolving. Hot Mess Mom is evolving. I still don’t know the point of it. I don’t know what I want it to be. I do know that I love it. I know that I feel obligated to write sometimes even when I don’t feel like it. I know that I am proud of myself. I know that I feel encouraged by all of you and I think that you feel encouraged by me.
I still don’t read many blogs. Not because I’m not supportive of other bloggers, because I still think it’s important to continue to find my voice. HMM is 10 months old. It’s still a baby. I’m still learning. I still have a lot of the same issues/ questions that I did on that blog written back 3 weeks after I started.
(How many times can the word “still” be used on one page? Geez)
Anyhoo… bottom line~~ HMM is changing. Not the content, the inspiration. My family gives me the content. You all are giving me the inspiration to write it.
(Click on that damn banner below… I still need the validation )
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