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Hot Mess Mom » Million MILF March » 2nd Annual Million MILF March~ The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.

2nd Annual Million MILF March~ The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.

 

If you are new to Hot Mess Mom or have been living under a rock and don’t know what in the hell this post is about…  I hold an annual event called the Million MILF March.  It’s a pub-crawl.  It benefits charity.  MILF = Moms Investing in Laughter & Frivolity.   Everything you need to know about the event you can find HERE, HERE, and HERE.
 
Now.. onto the recap of the 2nd Annual Million MILF March.

Where to begin? Where to begin??

I’ll start with the bad..  And by “bad”, I mean “areas for improvement”.   PLEASE feel free to email me, comment here, or PM me on Facebook with any and all input.  Let’s remember that I do this event alone.  It’s just me (with help from my friends).  I have no corporate backing.  While I am from New Orleans, I don’t live there.  Some things I THINK I have covered only to find out I don’t.  Other things I never consider.  I really do want your honest feedback… don’t hold back.  {Unless your suggestion is to change the name.  I’m not changing the name..  let’s move on}

 

THE BAD:

  • Friday night venue was too big and the areas were too separate.  Also, not being able to smoke inside dividing the crowd even further.  One thing I’ve learned is that when mamas get away from their babies.. they like to smoke.   While we had a higher attendance this year than last year, the venue seemed sparse and I apologize.
  • I got accidentally shit-hammered on Friday before the event.  I really can’t do that.  There were things that needed to be addressed (thermostat, the bars accepting cash only and no credit card tabs, etc) but since I am the happiest and most laid back drunk ever…..  I didn’t force the issues and I apologize.
  • Sign-In and Registration on Saturday was a bit of a cluster-fuck.  Some of that was out of my control but I’ll be working on a better way to handle.. Promise!
  • We need a bull horn or an air horn or some other such horn. 
  • Why did no one tell me how uber-unflattering tutus are?  Dammit. 
  • While I loved having Lucy’s participate in the event, they have such a strong local clientele that it was difficult, if not impossible, to get a drink.  Unless they plan on closing for an hour for a “private event” or opening an MMM only bar, we probably won’t be able to use them again.
  • The Red-Eye:  As IF I would change anything!!  Except for maybe keeping my drunk ass off the microphone… ;)
  • The After-Party at The Howlin’ Wolf:  I promised you food.  You paid for food.  There WAS food.. but it was hidden, sparse and not very good.  Last year we had soo much food and it all went to waste.  I need to find a happy medium and I will.. Promise! 
  • Finally, we need a doorman/ bouncer at the after-party.  While the bachelor party crashers were hilarious, fun, and respectful… I have promised you ladies a “safe place” where you can dance and be hammered without being groped or hit on.  We were lucky this year, but next year, the after-party will be more contained. 

 

THE GOOD!

  • I just love this event.  I love love love it.  I LOVE the women that attend.  I love these women’s men.  It is honestly 300 LIKE-MINDED women of all shapes, sizes and ages.  I look at that crowd and my heart just bursts.  
  • Personally, I was able to spend time and talk with dozens of attendees and I loved that.  I missed out on the “making new friends” part of last year as I worked the entire time.  This year I drank the entire time.  (Another thing I need to find a happy medium on) but I did love personally meeting so many of you and hearing your stories, your giggles, and your snorts. 
  • I did a shot with a scorpion in it.  But swallowing it seemed gross… so I chewed it.  (this should be probably be filed under “bad” or “ugly” but I’m good with it ;) 
  • The band- WEATHERED rocked it.  They never disappoint.  
  • The hotel.  I think the Hilton was perfect..  Perfectly located between the Warehouse District & French Quarter, great service and clean rooms.  If you had an experience other than positive, please let me know. 
  • I loved all of the creative outfits, MILF shirts, etc… Y’all are some funny bitches!  And your husbands are even funnier. 
  • Attendance this year was wonderful.  I think we had 30 states represented! 
  • The Red Eye. 
  • The Red Eye. 
  • The Red Eye. 
  • And my FAVORITE… watching women from different states, backgrounds and lifestyles friending each other on Facebook after the event.  Making plans to visit each other, or talk on the phone, or just meet up again next year.   It blows my mind and fills my heart.   And if you came to the MMM with a group and didn’t get a chance to branch out and meet new people- I strongly suggest you do so next year… I still have a hard time believing that women (who are often so judgy of other women) bond with others with no thought or conversations on working v. staying home, breast v. bottle, private v. public school, marriage, divorce, or single parenting.  None of it matters.  Nobody cares.  And when I watch a 50+ year old full figured woman chatting with a 20-something size 2 and laughing and laughing… I feel like I’ve done something special.  I feel like WE have done something special.   And I cannot thank you all enough for being part of it. 

 

Before we get to The Ugly, I have a few questions.

While this began as MY event, it is quickly becoming YOUR event; therefore I really need your input.  Here are my questions.

  1. Do we NEED the Friday night party?  I started it as a meet & greet, but I don’t know if we need it anymore.  Would you prefer a Friday night party or maybe just a “Meet & Greet” happy hour at the hotel bar for any newbies or interested parties?  I’m good either way, but so many of you have made friends at the MMM, you may prefer to have dinner, drinks in a smaller forum.  
  2. If we do away with Friday night, we will use a portion of time at each bar to solicit donations for charity, whether it be auction items, bar tabs, or bidding on the bartenders to remove articles of clothing ;) 
  3. Should we have food at each venue instead of only at the end?  Just apps and grease.. Something to keep us upright? 

 

Please comment below with your opinions/ suggestions.  Planning for the 3rd Annual MMM starts NOW! 
 

THE UGLY:

We were fortunate to have our own MILFARAZZI documenting our shenanigans.  There are several different albums.. All links here:

 

And then there are these gems… In absolutely no order…   I’ve tried to delete the most unflattering, but Lawd… there’s a lot of messy here ;)


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25 Responses to "2nd Annual Million MILF March~ The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly."

  1. Guinness Book says:

    Regarding the apparent piles posted in the attached photo – It has been determined that it is an illusion. While it may appear as the world’s largest hemorrhoid, Guinness Book has been studying the photo, and they have denied the claim, stating that, “The object appears to be not of the proper size or scope of said hemorrhoidal tissue.”

    So, alas, to the beautiful young man who appears to be sporting a wicked case of anal violation – rectum-damnnearkilledum- our apologies for posting the offensive photo. But in HMM’s defense, it is the funniest fracking photo ever published.

    Go forth and strip for MILFS for years to come. You are worthy of great adulation, and lots of groping by many 40 something women who are drunk on cheap booze and away from their annoying children for 1 weekend a year. Carry on, Brave soul.

  2. Lo says:

    Coupla things…

    The LSU game was part of the Lucy’s crowd. Not much you can do about that.

    Food. Yes. All I had was a couple of olives and green beans all day long. Then a little thing of jambalaya at Howlin’ Wolf.

    Red Eye. Red Eye. Red Eye. That was the most fun. Felt like an old sorority party at Loyola.

    I can’t speak to Friday because I won’t be able to attend. High school football and all.

    And I made friends with people in my own town that I didn’t know! That was cool.

    You do throw a good party, cher.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      ah Thanks Lori! It WAS fun! I’m glad to have met you and can’t wait to do it all over again.. but mo’betta!

  3. Bailey says:

    I feel horrible!!!! I live 20 minutes from Nola and was afraid to attend this year. I was afraid that because I’m not a mom I wouldn’t fit in. I was afraid that because I’m not married (yet) I wouldn’t fit in. When in reality, I’m as much of a Hot Mess as this whole gang of misfits are! I WILL be there next year. The posts, pics, and comments made me see just how many different types of women you draw in and how much fun they all are. Count me in in 2014!

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      Dammit!! No FEAR! Didn’t you read about last year.. someone came alone from California and another from Maine! Don’t miss it again… we embrace the messy.. mom or not!

    2. Lo says:

      That is EXACTLY how I felt LAST YEAR!! I didn’t go. I was scared. I was shy. I felt I wouldn’t fit in, that they would say, “Who the F is she and what’s SHE doing here?” But I sucked it up and went this year. And had the time of my life! I WILL be there next year too.

  4. Liese says:

    Fun weekend. Glad I could be a part of it.
    Cox

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      wow. I’ve moved by your words. WTF? Cox. ;)

  5. Liese says:

    I went alone last year after only meeting hot mess mom twice. It was life changing, in fact, I wrote about it on hotmessmom.com. I met amazing women, had tons if fun, and made lifelong friends who have taught me how to be a confident and sometimes outgoing person. This event is special to me. I hate being a big cheeseball on HMM but ’tis true. I only wish I could show you some of the after hours videos that I have… Y’all don’t even know how hot an messy we were…..
    Bossy.

  6. Shannon says:

    First off….. let me say that we had one hell of a time. :) We didn’t attend last year because we had already booked a girls trip to NOLA in October (shittiest of timing). During that trip, we vowed to make the 2nd Annual MMM and it did NOT disappoint. Thank you for your monumental efforts to create such a batshit crazy event.

    He are a few of my observations……
    As for the Friday night gig….. I could take it or leave it…. Saturday was the FOCUS of the trip.

    Lucy’s….. sigh, Lucy’s. My favorite bar in the entire city…. BUT couldn’t accommodate our crowd of bitches on a normal day….. those poor LSU game watchers. I felt sorry for them. So I say…. skip it next year!

    Red Eye: NO complaints…. only LOVE for that joint. So. Much. Fun.
    Can we make it the last stop next year??? We don’t need a band (this is just MY .02 here)…. any old dancing music will do. Red Eye was jamming some fanfuckingtastic tunes IMHO. Think about it.

    Howlin Wolf….. shockingly, I remember VERY little about that place. I even missed the photo booth. I REALLY love photo booths too! I was oblivious to food quality, quantity and/or existence. I was out to consume vodka alone that day….. and a few Miller Lites.

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of having snacks food at each stop. Grazing along the way would have been game changing for myself and the rest of my posse.

    I think that’s all the input I have for you.

    Keep on keepin on! You’ve got a good thing going!

    MUAHHH!
    Shan

  7. Mary Clair Hotard MUTHA says:

    there is a room upstairs at Lucys which is very nice, we used it for our 25 year high school reunion. its not like they are giving our drinks to us for free we are paying even if it is a special and the upstairs room was not being used that day and it would be plenty big enough for us to all fit and there is a bar up there…Judy Spurgeon was our event planner so i know she would have the details of how much it costs us to rent it,i know per person it was only about $25 per person and that covered the rental table and chairs and heavy hors d’oeuvres which were very good their mango salsa is to die for, we kept it cash bar thus the reason the price was so low,and they let us use their stereo system to plug out ipod in to play our own playlist of music…. btw does the red eye charge us to come in there?I will agree as everyone else the Redeye never diappoints and its not just cause of the nekked barteneders although that is a hell of a plus.. the hotel was great but the Renaissance hotel which is right across the street from Lucys is awesome too… we were able to get a great group rate…they have a nice bar downstairs…had a great time as usual…just thought i would share some ideas for next year…it will be here before ya know it which is a good thing:0)

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      thank you!! I wasn’t aware of upstairs at Lucy’s. I don’t pay anyone for their facility and the goal is by year 5 they’ll be paying me to bring the event there.. so…. we have some work to do :)
      I love the Renaissance as well, but the cheapest rate they could offer was $50 per night more than the Hilton. I’ll start working on next year asap and try to secure the same rate. Thanks so much for the support!! Love you Muthas!

    2. Cherie says:

      The upstairs room at Lucy’s is nice, however, I don’t think they let you smoke up there, and it is also a bit choppy with all the different rooms they have up there….

  8. Sarah says:

    I agree with the above poster. Lucy’s would be a shit show on a non lsu game day. the size and atmosphere there doesn’t mesh well with the size/type of group we were rolling with. Food would be fantastic as we had to leave howling wolf after 15 minutes bc were we drunk and starving. I did not partake in the Friday night deal bc I knew I needed my game face on for Saturday and didn’t want to “march” with the spins. Red eye was perfect. I could have stayed there all day/night. I also don’t think a band is totally necessary. But some sort of food definitely is.

  9. christy delgado says:

    Well Fuck Me for missing it!!!! Ugghhhhhh!!!!!
    I sprained the Shit outta my ankle and could hardly walk so I was forced to miss.
    After registering and everything!!
    However, I would Love to volunteer to help with the planning of the event as I am an Event Planner/Coordinator and decor specialist here in.Nola.

  10. jill dolese says:

    I attended the first march with my daughter. You might remember me, I was 68 and my daughter 49. We had a great time but couldn’d make it this year but my younger friends did for the first time and had a blast.
    I like your suggestion of doing away with the Friday event.
    Seems like this year’s Friday night was a little like last year. The people didn’t mix and that’s what this event in all about. mixing. Glad the Red Eye is still participating.
    Will be there next year.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      of course I remember y’all!! Missed you this year… Hope to see you next year for sure!

  11. Mary Clair Hotard says:

    the upstairs room at lucys is one large room thete are no other rooms…and smokers can smoke outside on the balcony that leads to the bathrooms yhey have upstairs….

  12. Jgaff says:

    Any way a MMM can be in FL like Orlando…?

  13. Heather says:

    My liver is STILL yelling at me. So much awesome and so worth the trip down from Kansas City!

    I can take or leave Friday… we ended up on the balcony just so we could sit down… that’s actually where our group started intermingling more with others. I like the idea of a kickoff event/happy hour at the hotel.

    The best part about Lucy’s was the Shark Attack cocktail. I kept ordering them just so the cute little waitress would sing the Jaws theme and dump the grenadine out of the shark’s mouth and into the drink. Dammit, now I want another. Otherwise it was too crazy crowded.
    The Red Eye… I could have stayed there all night. The party just kept getting better and better and better. Weathered was awesome, but the playlist at the Red Eye just made you want to get crazy.

    I can’t wait for next year. I’m already planning my costume. It may have to involve a nun’s habit and a wimple…..

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      I never saw the Shark Attack!!! I guess I was too busy eating a scorpion and shooting whiskey.
      LOVE the wimple idea.. I just snorted my coffee…

      I think we are going to stick with Friday night but make some changes.. in 2012 the Friday night event was the most fun of the entire weekend.. I think this year, the venue was just too big..

      Thanks so much for the support! !

  14. krissylou says:

    Ah, the MMM. My liver has finally stopped gasping for air. The MMM was amazing and everything I was expecting and more. First of all, thank you HMM for putting together such an epic event. I didn’t make it last year, but I knew for damn sure I was going this year. I know some people were all “too many men were there”, and maybe they meant the men that weren’t actually with our event, but let me just say that I’m SO glad men were allowed to come, because I wouldn’t have been there otherwise! I came down from Minnesota, and none of my girls would come with me (I didn’t even have the guts to ask most of them), and I did not have the balls to go by myself. My husband was like, “Well, I could go with you.” OMG, I had never even thought of that! He’s fun as shit. We had a moment of panic before we got to the Friday night event, picturing ourselves sitting alone in the corner like losers, not talking to anyone else. We weren’t sure what to expect. But a cool chick came up and rubbed his bald head at the bar, and it was all good after that. The Tito’s was flowing, we met some fun people, and I danced my ass off. We never expected to be able to talk to HMM herself, but thank God she likes to smoke, because she came up to our group on the balcony, and I was a big fangirl all over her!! I knew she’d be super busy and had so many friends and guests to play with, but we got to talk to her, and we loved her. She’s the shit. EVERYONE was so awesome. Nobody looks at you funny, everyone talks to everyone. The most cool, fun people, and not one douchebag in sight. How is that possible? The best. time. ever.

    On to the review: The hotel was great – inexpensive and close to everything. Friday night was fun, but a less formal, happy hour type event would be cool too. And I loved ALL the bars on Saturday – honestly we were just happy to be there. Obviously the Red Eye takes the cake. The music, dancing and bartenders were amazing. FOOD would be good. The Hubs and I were fine – I followed the RULES (eat a good base, no shots, pace yourself, try not to be a fucking idiot), but food in the belly is needed to keep the party going! I ate the shit out of that jumbalaya. I made a pig of myself at the Howlin’ Wolf and zero fucks were given. We’ve recruited my stepsister to come with us next year and I can’t wait. Thanks again, HMM.

    1. Hot Mess Mom says:

      ahhh Vogels!! WE love y’all!! Soo happy to finally meet you and the event wouldn’t have been the same without the 2 of you!!

  15. Lisa Millyard says:

    I would love information about the next MILF March. I have a group of friends that would love to attend.

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