Hot Mess Mom » Grown-up time, Things that are NOT awesome » 25 things I would rather do than hear/see one more minute of Lindsay Lohan
25 things I would rather do than hear/see one more minute of Lindsay Lohan
- be anally violated by a walrus
- lick my dog’s asshole
- have another baby
- get lice
- get CRAB lice
- eat gum from under a table
- lick the floor of the subway
- be run over by the subway
- have a period that lasts a year
- gain 70 pounds
- clean the boys’ bathroom
- be a sister wife
- watch Toddlers & Tiaras
- pet a rat. (with my vagina).
- lay on top of a motel bedspread
- wear skinny jeans
- watch reality television
- have lunch with Mariah Carey
- live in a trailer park
- have inflatable Christmas decorations in my yard
- have a colostomy bag
- drink from a colostomy bag
- have sex with Justin Bieber
- work out
- Be haunted by Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson; be forever sprayed with White Diamonds and serenaded with ‘The Girl is Mine’, all the while being ass raped by Richard Burton & Eddie Fisher.
PLEASE.. someone… get her OFF of my televison. PLEASE. {oh, and click that fucking banner below. thx}
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Have sex with Justin Beiber? A bit extreme don’t ya think?
Ha ha!! I actually wear skinny jeans and work out. Love this post.
Oh my GAWD. You are a funny, funny asshole. And, I freakin love you for it.
the numbering system is epic!!!
I’m in love with this list. It made my bungholio hurt.
holy shit – “bungholio”?!?!?!!?!?! omg i havent heard that in forever…
By the time I got to number #5 I couldn’t see straight because I was laughing so hard. This is so gross it is funny in a sick humor sort of way..and geez, I can’t stop laughing about it!!
I have inflatable Christmas decorations, so I would take that off the list (I only have them up at Christmas-time, not year round, that’s a plus, right?). However, I would replace it with Watching Honey Boo Boo.
The blow up snowman and Santa are for my kids’ enjoyment:)
that is no excuse.
Thought is was worth a shot:) We have a pumpkin and turkey too. Don’t be a hater:)
i’ll write a post one day about inflatables and how/why we don’t have them. but i’ll have to write it when Seven is out of the country……
Goo goo goo joob
Genius!
I love toddlers and tiaras…
Dude! I should never have read this with this cold because I cannot breathe. Hysterical!!!
you have an inflatable duct-taped sex doll and your hatin on blow up christmas decorations?
loved the list HMM!
Such an awesome to don’t list! Thank you. Made me laugh.
You forgot to add watch Honey Boo Boo Child. I guess that falls under the reality tv umbrella. You can’t make that shit up. You crack me up! Thanks for the laugh and the visual of you licking a dog’s butthole.
Oh my fack! I so needed to laugh really hard. I love you!
All I can say is…thank you. I love you!
I love this, just add the Kardashians and it will be complete!
Crack up! How about being a sister wife with lice addicted to reality TV who is 70 lbs overweight but wears skinny jeans anyway cuz your nasty womanizing hub loves the way your budonkadonk ass looks in them? omg…I hate Mariah Carey too…I realize she is a gifted singer but I can’t listen to her go off on those high notes (hurts my ears and I bet it hurts dogs’ ears, too), and I love Idol…hoping she’ll grow on me cuz I do like reality TV
I totally agree with you,and every item on your list seems reasonable, but I didn’t realize ole’ Lindsay was still on TV. Haven’t seen her in ages – maybe because I hail from Canada? Thank God for small favours.
Her stupid Liz Taylor movie is coming out
ughh. Really? The film industry must really be suffering right now. lol
HHM you can do better, that list sounds like a 13 year old boy wrote it. How long did it take you to come
up with a list of the most disgusting things you could think of? Sorry, but you are way more talented than that
I generally am a 13 year boy. They literally ARE the most disgusting things I can think of.. .. A girl’s gotta have range..
shut up, rebecca!!! HMM rules!
I don’t why, but number 14 had me cackling like a goddam IDIOT. I just love you.
Can we throw Britney Spears under this bus, too? PLEASE?!?
That girl is a train wreck. I’m tired of watching it too.
HMM – Is “rebecca” A) Your mother? B) Your mother-in-law? C) Your grandmother? Cuz if she ain’t one of those she’s following the wrong fucking blog.
Lol!!!